Please Help! I just have questions...

[vanityfair5]

To reply to a lot of the questions on here:

I DID Pref at ZBZ. Tri Pi was my 5th choice initially, but after my other 3 choices got knocked off my call-back list, they became number 2. There WAS something I liked in the girls, but only enough to put them at number 5. They were nice and friendly, the kind of girl I could sit next to in class and chat with, but NOT the kind of girl I would try to hang out with outside of class. They really are great, I don't dislike them, but I just don't fit in. For a lot of reasons: they all wore Ugg boots when I wore heels to a meeting; I did my hair and wore tons of jewelry for Bid Day and none of them did; a lot of the girls came in already friends and now have their "groups"; they are all petite brunettes and I'm taller and have blonde hair; some of the older girls were making fun of sororities my other friends are in. Just a lot of reasons I don't fit. Some are superficial, YES, but that doesn't mean they don't feel like real reasons to me!

For whatever reason, I just don't feel the click. Some people can force it on themselves, and others can wait till they find it. But for me, I have felt it almost instantly with EVERY friend I have. There is no friend I have now that I haven't felt a connection with right away. So I think that says a lot...

Would it be so bad if I just dropped out now, for mostly personal reasons, and tried again next year? Not gunning for ZBZ, but looking at ALL sororities at my school. There are 14.

What would YOU do??????

[vanityfair5]

Oh and I've been attending non-mandatory events I have gone to two regular socials, one sister social, spent the night at an older girls house, and gone to 2 Tri Pi pregame/ parties.

[ADPiTigergurl]

Originally Posted by vanityfair5

Oh and I've been attending non-mandatory events I have gone to two regular socials, one sister social, spent the night at an older girls house, and gone to 2 Tri Pi pregame/ parties.

ok so this is random and i know everyone says the Greek community is over programmed but have they really held 3 socials and 2 parties in a week? That just seems really extreme to me...

[Xylochick216]

Like others have said, the connection won't always be instant. I remember being so overwhelmed during my new member period and trying to get to know so many people. I didn't actually get to know many of them very well during my new member period. I studied abroad the next semester, and when I came back, I was thrown right into recruitment. Sisters I didn't know because my closest friends, and they're the ones who are my best friends today.

Also, I wouldn't worry about them having different fashion than you. Having someone who is a little different from the majority is always a good thing. I'm sure there are more people who share your tastes than you realize.

Bottom line: It's hard to genuinely get to know women in a short period of time in a setting that may be outside of your comfort zone. But you get out of it what you put in. Going through recruitment as an upperclassman can be difficult and could hinder you from being Greek at all. Think about that before you make any decisions. If you won't be happy at all, then by all means depledge. Just remember: as Zillini said, if Tri Pi hadn't made quota, then you would have been on their bid list because you listed them first.

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by vanityfair5

Oh and I've been attending non-mandatory events I have gone to two regular socials, one sister social, spent the night at an older girls house, and gone to 2 Tri Pi pregame/ parties.

That's good, but how have you been attending non-mandatory events? Have you gone to every event judging the girls' clothes and thinking "OMGZ- ZBZ would NEVER have a {insert theme here} social!". Or, have you gone to every event thinking "Hey, I'll give these girls an honest chance."

Because if it's the former, no wonder you haven't felt a connection! (A) You are radiating an I-don't-want-to-be-here personality. No one will befriend or even reach out to that person and (B) you've gone in with a mindset set in stone.

TRY. Don't just go to events but TRY. Invite a sister who admires your cute heels or jewlery to go shopping with you. Go out for lunch with someone who is in your class. TRY.

Finally, a lame non-GLO-based analogy:

I have to take Analytical Chemistry to graduate with a degree in my second major. I hate Analytical Chemistry, with a bloody, bloody passion. I could drop out of Analytical Chemistry, because I can graduate with one degree, go to Medical School, and be happy.

But I really want that second degree: I feel like it contributes a lot to my undergraduate experience. So, I'm stuck in a class I hate 5 days a week, at 7:45 on three of those days.

So, I've been trying to find pieces of it I enjoy. And, I'm finding (much to my surprise) that I like Analytical Chemistry. I don't really mind waking up early anymore and I'm enjoying the class, after I tried really (REALLY) hard to like it.

Yes, there are parts of it that perpetually suck. But, I'll find that in any class I take.
----------------------------------
ZBZ (I'm 100% positive on it) has parts you would dislike, maybe more than you know. Try and find things in Tri-Pi you enjoy; I'm positive you'll end up finding at least a few things you like!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by vanityfair5

To reply to a lot of the questions on here:

I DID Pref at ZBZ. Tri Pi was my 5th choice initially, but after my other 3 choices got knocked off my call-back list, they became number 2. There WAS something I liked in the girls, but only enough to put them at number 5. They were nice and friendly, the kind of girl I could sit next to in class and chat with, but NOT the kind of girl I would try to hang out with outside of class. They really are great, I don't dislike them, but I just don't fit in. For a lot of reasons: they all wore Ugg boots when I wore heels to a meeting; I did my hair and wore tons of jewelry for Bid Day and none of them did; a lot of the girls came in already friends and now have their "groups"; they are all petite brunettes and I'm taller and have blonde hair; some of the older girls were making fun of sororities my other friends are in. Just a lot of reasons I don't fit. Some are superficial, YES, but that doesn't mean they don't feel like real reasons to me!

For whatever reason, I just don't feel the click. Some people can force it on themselves, and others can wait till they find it. But for me, I have felt it almost instantly with EVERY friend I have. There is no friend I have now that /I haven't felt a connection with right away. So I think that says a lot...

Would it be so bad if I just dropped out now, for mostly personal reasons, and tried again next year? Not gunning for ZBZ, but looking at ALL sororities at my school. There are 14.

What would YOU do??????

Re the bolded, come back here in 20 years and tell us how many of these friends are still in your life.

If they're making fun of sororities your friends are in, SPEAK UP and tell them it bothers you. You will be respected for it. (Although I think there's a certain amount of goofing on other groups in every sorority behind closed doors - just to release the tension of dealing with each other all the time. The problem comes when it gets out in the open or when there's real anger towards others involved.)

Re the fashion thing...part of the reason they probably liked you is BECAUSE you dress differently from them. Beware, beware, beware of "clone sororities." This group is confident enough in themselves to invite someone who's different. My guess is you'll be lauded for that, not criticized like you might be in another group for wearing the "wrong" shoes.

As far as rushing again double ditto everything ADPiTigergurl said. Your situation in rush will get worse, not better. If you truly want to be Greek, take this shot and make it work, and stop looking at the outside. If you have a temporary sponsor, talk to her. She might be able to give you a better handle on things.

[AOII Angel]

It sounds to me like you have your mind made up. What are you waiting for? Someone to come on here and tell you that everyone has been wrong and yes, you can pledge another chapter? Sorry...you're stuck for the year! I'll tell you what I told one of my chapter sisters who was a double legacy to another chapter on campus and didn't get a bid to that chapter. She was UNDERSTANDABLY upset when she came to our bid day party. SUCK IT UP! This may be your only chance at a greek experience. Crying and wishing you could be in the other chapter will get you nowhere. Ten years down the road you'll really be wondering "what if" but it'll be "what if I'd really given Tri-Pi a chance?" You won't make connections, feel included or be comfortable if you don't WANT to.