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-   -   Please Help! I just have questions... (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=110936)

vanityfair5 02-01-2010 08:35 PM
Please Help! I just have questions...
 
A NOT hypothetical situation, but I'll use cheesy Greek code to explain what is going on here:

I attend Cyprus Rhodes University and just went through Formal Recruitment. At the end of Pref Night I listed my choices putting ZBZ first, Tri Pi second, and IKI third. I was fairly certain I would get a bid from ZBZ the next morning, as both girls I talked to said "they could really see me there." But, I got a bid from Tri Pi.
Of course I was upset but I went to the Bid Day party. And I really didn't like it. I didn't fit in with my Pledge Class and I was SO not excited to go back for my first new member meeting. I decided to give it a week, so I did, and I still don't like it very much. It's just not the place for me. But I know that ZBZ is!
I have my Pledging-In ceremony THIS Friday and of course want to make my decision to drop out or not before then. I don't know what to do! I can't imagine NOT being Greek after I have wanted to for so long, but I definitely know this is not the place for me to do so.
I also know that after signing my Preference List I am bound to a sorority for a full year before I can rush again. BUT, one of the sororities on my Pref Night list was all it said. So does ZBZ technically count? They have snapped maybe like 1 or 2 girls since Bid Day in...could I work my way in w/o getting in trouble with NPC? I am DESPERATE here, let me know any loopholes I can work with! (And suggestions on how to get snapped in/ informally be recruited in--since that is going on right now!)

THANK YOUUUUU!

DrPhil 02-01-2010 08:39 PM
QFP
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanityfair5 (Post 1891627)
A NOT hypothetical situation, but I'll use cheesy Greek code to explain what is going on here:

I attend Cyprus Rhodes University and just went through Formal Recruitment. At the end of Pref Night I listed my choices putting ZBZ first, Tri Pi second, and IKI third. I was fairly certain I would get a bid from ZBZ the next morning, as both girls I talked to said "they could really see me there." But, I got a bid from Tri Pi.
Of course I was upset but I went to the Bid Day party. And I really didn't like it. I didn't fit in with my Pledge Class and I was SO not excited to go back for my first new member meeting. I decided to give it a week, so I did, and I still don't like it very much. It's just not the place for me. But I know that ZBZ is!
I have my Pledging-In ceremony THIS Friday and of course want to make my decision to drop out or not before then. I don't know what to do! I can't imagine NOT being Greek after I have wanted to for so long, but I definitely know this is not the place for me to do so.
I also know that after signing my Preference List I am bound to a sorority for a full year before I can rush again. BUT, one of the sororities on my Pref Night list was all it said. So does ZBZ technically count? They have snapped maybe like 1 or 2 girls since Bid Day in...could I work my way in w/o getting in trouble with NPC? I am DESPERATE here, let me know any loopholes I can work with! (And suggestions on how to get snapped in/ informally be recruited in--since that is going on right now!)

THANK YOUUUUU!
I'm sure the folks here will help. :)

KSUViolet06 02-01-2010 08:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanityfair5 (Post 1891627)
A NOT hypothetical situation, but I'll use cheesy Greek code to explain what is going on here:

I attend Cyprus Rhodes University and just went through Formal Recruitment. At the end of Pref Night I listed my choices putting ZBZ first, Tri Pi second, and IKI third. I was fairly certain I would get a bid from ZBZ the next morning, as both girls I talked to said "they could really see me there." But, I got a bid from Tri Pi.
Of course I was upset but I went to the Bid Day party. And I really didn't like it. I didn't fit in with my Pledge Class and I was SO not excited to go back for my first new member meeting. I decided to give it a week, so I did, and I still don't like it very much. It's just not the place for me. But I know that ZBZ is!
I have my Pledging-In ceremony THIS Friday and of course want to make my decision to drop out or not before then. I don't know what to do! I can't imagine NOT being Greek after I have wanted to for so long, but I definitely know this is not the place for me to do so.
I also know that after signing my Preference List I am bound to a sorority for a full year before I can rush again. BUT, one of the sororities on my Pref Night list was all it said. So does ZBZ technically count? They have snapped maybe like 1 or 2 girls since Bid Day in...could I work my way in w/o getting in trouble with NPC? I am DESPERATE here, let me know any loopholes I can work with! (And suggestions on how to get snapped in/ informally be recruited in--since that is going on right now!)

THANK YOUUUUU!

No loopholes.

I'm going to assume that you accepted a bid, since you have been attending Tri Pi events.

If you accepted a bid, you are not permitted to join any other NPC sorority for one calendar year.

The girls they "snapped in" were girls who hadn't submitted Pref cards (e.g. they dropped out at some point before Pref) or they were girls who had not participated in formal recruitment and were picked up soon afterward.

You are not eligible for one of those. Sorry.

vanityfair5 02-01-2010 08:42 PM
Have I truly accepted a bid, thou, if I haven't Pledged In?

KSUViolet06 02-01-2010 08:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanityfair5 (Post 1891635)
Have I truly accepted a bid, thou, if I haven't Pledged In?
Please correct me if I'm wrong:

If you've submitted a Pref card, received a bid at bid day, gone to Bid Day, and attended events, you have indeed accepted a bid.

This is why we tell girls not to sign if you are unsure because you lose the chance to rush for an entire year once you do so.

kddani 02-01-2010 08:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanityfair5 (Post 1891635)
Have I truly accepted a bid, thou, if I haven't Pledged In?
No idea of what this concept of "pledged in" is, but YES, you accepted a bid when you signed your bid card.

Give it time. It really takes a couple weeks to get to know people and find your place. You're stuck anyway (i.e. can't pledge anywhere else for a year), so why not try to make the best of it? You may be surprised.

WCsweet<3 02-01-2010 08:49 PM
Alright let's put this in terms similar to your story:

Your girlfriend has decided she want to date this guy only after knowing him for a week. They may have hung out a lot but it has only really been a week that they have known each other. At the same time she has hung out with his good friend (maybe even best friend). The guys are both pretty different but your friend accepts a date from the best friend even though she was only interested in the other one, while he has passed her up so that his friend can date your friend. Now, your friend has only gone on a few dates with this guy but isn't interested although she hasn't really gotten to know him because she was upset that the first guy hadn't asked her out.

What would you suggest to your friend? Get to know the guy a little better maybe? It will be a while before the other guy (if ever) asks her out because of the "bro code" (never date your friend's girl). What would be her best path.

vanityfair5 02-01-2010 08:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1891637)
Please correct me if I'm wrong:

If you've submitted a Pref card, received a bid at bid day, gone to Bid Day, and attended events, you have indeed accepted a bid.

This is why we tell girls not to sign if you are unsure because you lose the chance to rush for an entire year once you do so.
No, no, I assume you're correct about bid acceptance!

Now just a question...when we filled out our Pref Night cards, would I have been able to NOT have signed it? Because I'm pretty sure I had to in order to put my choices in the computer...

Psi U MC Vito 02-01-2010 08:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kddani (Post 1891638)
No idea of what this concept of "pledged in" is, but YES, you accepted a bid when you signed your bid card.

Give it time. It really takes a couple weeks to get to know people and find your place. You're stuck anyway (i.e. can't pledge anywhere else for a year), so why not try to make the best of it? You may be surprised.
Sounds like she is referring to a formal Pinning or Pledging ceremony.

And to the OP, it takes time. I would say try the semster and if you really don't like it, leave before initiation.

vanityfair5 02-01-2010 08:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WCsweet<3 (Post 1891641)
Alright let's put this in terms similar to your story:

Your girlfriend has decided she want to date this guy only after knowing him for a week. They may have hung out a lot but it has only really been a week that they have known each other. At the same time she has hung out with his good friend (maybe even best friend). The guys are both pretty different but your friend accepts a date from the best friend even though she was only interested in the other one, while he has passed her up so that his friend can date your friend. Now, your friend has only gone on a few dates with this guy but isn't interested although she hasn't really gotten to know him because she was upset that the first guy hadn't asked her out.

What would you suggest to your friend? Get to know the guy a little better maybe? It will be a while before the other guy (if ever) asks her out because of the "bro code" (never date your friend's girl). What would be her best path.
Haha I very much like your analogy and OF COURSE I would suggest to my friend to better get to know this guy before she just gets rid of him. But for how long? I don't know. I've been with them 5 out of 7 nights and I just don't see it working out for me there. I'm a pretty good judge of who I can and can't get along with...I can't lie to myself and pretend I love these girls when I truly know I do not. (And I would also say that to my friend about the guy.) Gut instinct says A LOT, I think.

DrPhil 02-01-2010 08:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WCsweet<3 (Post 1891641)
What would you suggest to your friend? Get to know the guy a little better maybe?
Don't date a guy that you're not interested in; and forget the other guy because there are more than 2 men in the world.

BOOOOOO @ you using this instead of just sticking with the very clear GLO-isms. ;)

vanityfair5 02-01-2010 08:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1891643)
Sounds like she is referring to a formal Pinning or Pledging ceremony.

And to the OP, it takes time. I would say try the semster and if you really don't like it, leave before initiation.
Leaving now over just before initiation doesn't give me any less time I have to wait, then? If I drop out now I have to wait just as long until I wait until before Initiation (which is late March/ early April)? Just want to check!

Psi U MC Vito 02-01-2010 08:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanityfair5 (Post 1891649)
Leaving now over just before initiation doesn't give me any less time I have to wait, then? If I drop out now I have to wait just as long until I wait until before Initiation (which is late March/ early April)? Just want to check!
From my understanding yes. IIRC it is a calender year from when you accept your bid. so if you drop the day after bid day or the day before intation, you have the same wait. NPC feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

KSUViolet06 02-01-2010 09:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanityfair5 (Post 1891642)
No, no, I assume you're correct about bid acceptance!

Now just a question...when we filled out our Pref Night cards, would I have been able to NOT have signed it? Because I'm pretty sure I had to in order to put my choices in the computer...
Ranking your choices and signing that list basically says "I agree to accept a bid from ANY of the sororities on this list."

If you did not wish to accept a bid from any of those 3, you should not have put them on your list.

Example: If you knew you wouldn't take a bid from Tri Pi, the best thing to do would have been to leave them off.

However, I understand that many girls tend to feel like they HAVE to rank all 3. In reality, you should only rank all choices if you're willing to take a bid from ANY of them (not just one or two).

vanityfair5 02-01-2010 09:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1891652)
Ranking your choices and signing that list basically says "I agree to accept a bid from ANY of the sororities on this list."

If you did not wish to accept a bid from any of those 3, you should not have put them on your list.

Example: If you knew you wouldn't take a bid from Tri Pi, the best thing to do would have been to leave them off.

However, I understand that many girls tend to feel like they HAVE to rank all 3. In reality, you should only rank all choices if you're willing to take a bid from ANY of them (not just one or two).
:( I didn't know this at the time! I wish I had!


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