Please Help! I just have questions...

[vanityfair5]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Well really, it's water under the bridge at this point and there is nothing you can do about it now.

Concerning staying in Tri Pi and making the best of it, I suggest reading these 2 posts (and really that whole thread is good) Best of luck with your decision:


http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...&postcount=219

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...&postcount=220

Thank you This helped. I think a big part of my doubt is that it seems EVERY girl in Tri Pi is SOOOO excited to be there (even since walking in the house on Bid Day) and I've felt like the odd one out.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by vanityfair5

Thank you This helped. I think a big part of my doubt is that it seems EVERY girl in Tri Pi is SOOOO excited to be there (even since walking in the house on Bid Day) and I've felt like the odd one out.

Not every single girl is going to feel 100% happy the first week.

Don't panic.

Don't sulk.

Make a genuine effort to build relationships.

It takes time, but it can happen.

[FSUZeta]

you listed zbz first on your bid card. if they had listed you on their bid list, you would be a zbz now. because you heard they snap bidded people, meaning they had not reached quota, and they had spaces to fill, they undoubtedly did not think you would be a good fit for their chapter. it is unlikely that that will change next year.

your 2nd choice did want you-that's how you ended up with their bid. get to know them better and give them a chance. you can depledge the day of your initiation(before the ceremony) if you decide you need to, with no more consequences than if you quit today, but before you do, do yourself a favor and ask yourself if it is better to not be greek if you cannot be a zbz?

[VandalSquirrel]

I think you might slightly be sabotaging yourself with a self fulfilling prophecy, and not giving the sorority that wanted you as a sister a fair chance. Sure other women are OMFG TRI PI 'TIL I DIE but stop basing your expectations on how others are reacting and realize there isn't any magic kool aid passed around to feel this way. You can spend your time pining away for ZBZ (which you didn't get a bid to, for whatever reason, sometimes it just happens) or you can take that energy and use it on giving Tri Pi a chance.

What do you have to lose by accepting reality and not fantasy?

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

you listed zbz first on your bid card. if they had listed you on their bid list, you would be a zbz now. because you heard they snap bidded people, meaning they had not reached quota, and they had spaces to fill, they undoubtedly did not think you would be a good fit for their chapter. it is unlikely that that will change next year.

Actually if the OP put ZBZ #1 and ZBZ didn't make quota, the OP would have gotten a bid. Panhellenic wouldn't have gone to the OP's #2 choice until the #1 had reached quota. I suspect ZBZ snapped because some PNMs declined their bids. That or they weren't technically snap bids, but rather COR bids issued shortly after Bid Day because ZBZ was still below Total.

Regardless, OP you just weren't high enough on the ZBZ list to get a bid. That means they didn't want you as much as they wanted other PNMs. So even if the 1 year rule wasn't in place or if you suicided ZBZ, there is a lot of doubt that you would have gotten a bid from ZBZ anyways. I'm not trying to be hurtful or mean, that's just the reality of the situation.

You got a bid from girls that like and want you. I find it sad that you are willing to throw that away after only a week. From what you posted, your only real issue is that everyone else is "rah, rah, yeah Tri Pi!" and you're not. It's natural for you to feel let down, but I strongly suggest you give them more of a chance before making this major decision. By that I mean give them a real chance. Go hang out and get to know the sisters. Don't just show up when you have to for a meeting.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by Zillini

Actually if the OP put ZBZ #1 and ZBZ didn't make quota, the OP would have gotten a bid. Panhellenic wouldn't have gone to the OP's #2 choice until the #1 had reached quota. I suspect ZBZ snapped because some PNMs declined their bids. That or they weren't technically snap bids, but rather COR bids issued shortly after Bid Day because ZBZ was still below Total.

Regardless, OP you just weren't high enough on the ZBZ list to get a bid. That means they didn't want you as much as they wanted other PNMs. So even if the 1 year rule wasn't in place or if you suicided ZBZ, there is a lot of doubt that you would have gotten a bid from ZBZ anyways. I'm not trying to be hurtful or mean, that's just the reality of the situation.

You got a bid from girls that like and want you. I find it sad that you are willing to throw that away after only a week. From what you posted, your only real issue is that everyone else is "rah, rah, yeah Tri Pi!" and you're not. It's natural for you to feel let down, but I strongly suggest you give them more of a chance before making this major decision. By that I mean give them a real chance. Go hang out and get to know the sisters. Don't just show up when you have to for a meeting.

this!! too many girls only show up for mandatory things and then can't understand why they aren't feeling it.

zillini, thanks for clarifying my statement. i did not say it as well as you did.

[vanityfair5]

To reply to a lot of the questions on here:

I DID Pref at ZBZ. Tri Pi was my 5th choice initially, but after my other 3 choices got knocked off my call-back list, they became number 2. There WAS something I liked in the girls, but only enough to put them at number 5. They were nice and friendly, the kind of girl I could sit next to in class and chat with, but NOT the kind of girl I would try to hang out with outside of class. They really are great, I don't dislike them, but I just don't fit in. For a lot of reasons: they all wore Ugg boots when I wore heels to a meeting; I did my hair and wore tons of jewelry for Bid Day and none of them did; a lot of the girls came in already friends and now have their "groups"; they are all petite brunettes and I'm taller and have blonde hair; some of the older girls were making fun of sororities my other friends are in. Just a lot of reasons I don't fit. Some are superficial, YES, but that doesn't mean they don't feel like real reasons to me!

For whatever reason, I just don't feel the click. Some people can force it on themselves, and others can wait till they find it. But for me, I have felt it almost instantly with EVERY friend I have. There is no friend I have now that I haven't felt a connection with right away. So I think that says a lot...

Would it be so bad if I just dropped out now, for mostly personal reasons, and tried again next year? Not gunning for ZBZ, but looking at ALL sororities at my school. There are 14.

What would YOU do??????

[vanityfair5]

Oh and I've been attending non-mandatory events I have gone to two regular socials, one sister social, spent the night at an older girls house, and gone to 2 Tri Pi pregame/ parties.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by vanityfair5

To reply to a lot of the questions on here:

I DID Pref at ZBZ. Tri Pi was my 5th choice initially, but after my other 3 choices got knocked off my call-back list, they became number 2. There WAS something I liked in the girls, but only enough to put them at number 5. They were nice and friendly, the kind of girl I could sit next to in class and chat with, but NOT the kind of girl I would try to hang out with outside of class. They really are great, I don't dislike them, but I just don't fit in. For a lot of reasons: they all wore Ugg boots when I wore heels to a meeting; I did my hair and wore tons of jewelry for Bid Day and none of them did; a lot of the girls came in already friends and now have their "groups"; they are all petite brunettes and I'm taller and have blonde hair; some of the older girls were making fun of sororities my other friends are in. Just a lot of reasons I don't fit. Some are superficial, YES, but that doesn't mean they don't feel like real reasons to me!

For whatever reason, I just don't feel the click. Some people can force it on themselves, and others can wait till they find it. But for me, I have felt it almost instantly with EVERY friend I have. There is no friend I have now that /I haven't felt a connection with right away. So I think that says a lot...

Would it be so bad if I just dropped out now, for mostly personal reasons, and tried again next year? Not gunning for ZBZ, but looking at ALL sororities at my school. There are 14.

What would YOU do??????

Re the bolded, come back here in 20 years and tell us how many of these friends are still in your life.

If they're making fun of sororities your friends are in, SPEAK UP and tell them it bothers you. You will be respected for it. (Although I think there's a certain amount of goofing on other groups in every sorority behind closed doors - just to release the tension of dealing with each other all the time. The problem comes when it gets out in the open or when there's real anger towards others involved.)

Re the fashion thing...part of the reason they probably liked you is BECAUSE you dress differently from them. Beware, beware, beware of "clone sororities." This group is confident enough in themselves to invite someone who's different. My guess is you'll be lauded for that, not criticized like you might be in another group for wearing the "wrong" shoes.

As far as rushing again double ditto everything ADPiTigergurl said. Your situation in rush will get worse, not better. If you truly want to be Greek, take this shot and make it work, and stop looking at the outside. If you have a temporary sponsor, talk to her. She might be able to give you a better handle on things.