events

goldnknight · #1 08-05-2008, 09:38 PM

I decided to try informal rush in the spring if any sororities need more members to fill but I do know a lot of people in sororities and fraternities and was planning on going to some events that they do. I also do party with a couple of frat guys off campus (I knew them before they got initiated). I was wondering if any of this could hurt my reputation?

#2 08-05-2008, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldnknight

I decided to try informal rush in the spring if any sororities need more members to fill but I do know a lot of people in sororities and fraternities and was planning on going to some events that they do. I also do party with a couple of frat guys off campus (I knew them before they got initiated). I was wondering if any of this could hurt my reputation?

YES.

Read this thread when you get a chance: http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=97700

Pay close attention to the guys in her story and ask yourself if partying with these guys prior to and during rush is worth risking your chance at a bid.

KSUViolet06 · #3 08-05-2008, 10:25 PM

Yes, partying with fraternity members can hurt your reputation. Sorority members go out and they do take notice of the non-greek women at parties. If you do anything that causes you to look like "that girl" at a party, they're going to take note, and will remeber you if you show up at one of their recruitment parties.

Examples of "that girl" behavior:

*Taking your shirt (or any other clothing item) off at a party.
*Hooking up with guys at party.
*Getting overly drunk and making a scene.
*Puking in public.
*Getting into confrontations with other girls.

You get the idea. If you're going to go out, try to be low-key and not call a ton of attention to yourself, or it will affect your chances.

Kansas City · #4 08-05-2008, 10:55 PM

I kind of question your reasons for wanting to join a sorority. If you are going to wait for informal recruitment to see "if any sororities need more members to fill" you will be selling yourself short and missing out on the opportunity to perhaps find a spot where you belong instead of a spot where a sorority needs to fill a spot. It also sounds that you have your fair share of partying in the past ... please do not think that all sorority girls will match this careless party attitude and know that your past actions could harm your chances at "filling a spot".

#5 08-05-2008, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Yes, partying with fraternity members can hurt your reputation. Sorority members go out and they do take notice of the non-greek women at parties. If you do anything that causes you to look like "that girl" at a party, they're going to take note, and will remeber you if you show up at one of their recruitment parties.

Examples of "that girl" behavior:

*Taking your shirt (or any other clothing item) off at a party.
*Hooking up with guys at party.
*Getting overly drunk and making a scene.
*Puking in public.
*Getting into confrontations with other girls.

You get the idea. If you're going to go out, try to be low-key and not call a ton of attention to yourself, or it will affect your chances.

To the OP, also keep in mind that, even though your connections to these fraternity guys may be innocent and harmless, sorority members may not see it that way. If your association with them is limited to the parties, I'd just stay away.

..and what Kansas City said.

Canadian · #6 08-05-2008, 11:12 PM

Honestly, if I were an undergrad, I doubt I'd want somebody in my fraternity who's filling a "spot". Focus on what attributes you can bring to a sorority, such as clubs you belong to, sports (intramurals or college level), neat hobbies you have and special abilities. I remember being a freshman and it seemed like the only things seperating me from the average was my associations with older girls. But then when I got involved in Kappa Sigma, they started asking me about how I was the prez of 2 other clubs, how I was a member of a third, how I ran a large fundraiser, etc. I'm sure you've got lots of attributes (including that you did your research and hopped on GC rather than just listening to randoms) that would make you attractive to other sororities.

However, if you like to "party" with Greek guys, my OPH describes them best as having a V/W syndrome. Essentially the girls they like to have fun with are not the same girls they want as a sweetheart.

Thomas

goldnknight · #7 08-05-2008, 11:21 PM

maybe i worded it wrong, but i was going to go in the fall this year but i get a little intimidated by all the people going. i feel like my chances are lower and i wouldn't get noticed. maybe im just nervous? honestly though i do drink but my frat guy friends ive known for awhile... and i dont get trashed and pass out on floors

Canadian · #8 08-05-2008, 11:29 PM

I'd say you have nothing to worry about. Rush is nervous, especially when you know they could blackball you, but honestly, 99% of sororities are happy to have dedicated members who will be there not only for the first week of class, but for study hours, for fundraisers and to stay late in the night learning stuff.

I think if you focus on your positives, and downplay any negatives, you'll do fine. After all, a sorority who is only interested in how many beer you can handle is probably not something you want to put on your resume.

Thomas

#9 08-05-2008, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldnknight

maybe i worded it wrong, but i was going to go in the fall this year but i get a little intimidated by all the people going. i feel like my chances are lower and i wouldn't get noticed. maybe im just nervous? honestly though i do drink but my frat guy friends ive known for awhile... and i dont get trashed and pass out on floors

If you're intimidated by Fall Recruitment, I'd hate to think of how you'll be during Spring Informal. For starters, not all sororities (if any) participate in Spring Informal. Your chances are slimmer because there are only a few spots open. Second, those spots may very well go to girls who participated in Fall Recruitment because they didn't get a bid for whatever reason. The sororities already know them and may like them. They'll have an edge over you because the sororities won't know you. Or the bids might go to friends of sorority members.

Last, who cares if you've known these guy friends for a while? The sororities don't know that and they don't care. Even if you don't get trashed and pass out, they'll know you as the girl who always hangs out at the frat house. The background stuff won't matter.

Canadian · #10 08-05-2008, 11:39 PM

Why don't you try to make friends with a few sorority sisters from different groups before you decide to commit if you're that nervous. Most sisters are pretty friendly, especially if you explain you're interested in joining, but have reservations. They might invite you to come with them to some events. We always (a fraternity) have people who are interested and if we invite them to events, sooner or later they feel comfortable enough to join.

That said, my fraternity has only ever blackballed 2 people that I know of. If there is a spot open, and you're willing to make friends fast, I am sure there are worthwhile organizations.

Also, if sororities make you nervous, why don't you become involved with other on campus groups which generally tend to be less exclusive, sometimes pretty friendly and always willing to put people to good work.

Thomas

Kansas City · #11 08-06-2008, 09:14 AM

Nerves aside, if you are interested in joining a sorority, you need to afford yourself the opportunity to look at ALL of them by giving fall/formal recruitment a shot. If in the process of formal recruitment, you decide for whatever reason you are not ready to commit to a sorority, you can withdraw ... there is no penalty for changing your mind. You need to give ALL of the sororities a chance to meet you, not just the ones looking to fill a "spot" in the spring. If for some reason you do not accept a bid in the fall, you can still attend spring recruitment but you will be much more informed about the organizations on your campus and they will already know a little something about you because you gave fall/formal recruitment a chance. I think that it is fair to say that most PNMs (as well as many members) are nervous about recruitment. You won't be alone.

WVU alpha phi · #12 08-06-2008, 11:10 AM

I think we may be blowing it out of proportion- she knows people in fraternities, she didn't say she's over there every single night. I agree with the above posters, definitely don't be "that girl". But fraternities will most likely come up at some point during rush conversation (about mixers) and you could maybe say "oh yeah some of my friends from home are XYZs" or mention that you saw how much fun your fraternity friends have and that made you interested in joining a sorority.

#13 08-06-2008, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi

I think we may be blowing it out of proportion- she knows people in fraternities, she didn't say she's over there every single night. I agree with the above posters, definitely don't be "that girl". But fraternities will most likely come up at some point during rush conversation (about mixers) and you could maybe say "oh yeah some of my friends from home are XYZs" or mention that you saw how much fun your fraternity friends have and that made you interested in joining a sorority.

She made it clear twice that she parties with these guys. Partying with them =/= knowing people in fraternities. She was concerned if this could hurt her reputation, and it can.

I don't think we're blowing anything out of proportion at all. I remember how it was like being 18-22 years old and jumping to conclusions quickly so I think we're just being realistic here because it doesn't seem like she is.

Based on the OP's other posts, she's at UCF. If I'm not mistaken UCF begins FR in just about 2 weeks. I get the impression that she's going to wait until Spring. A lot can happen from now until then.

KSUViolet06 · #14 08-06-2008, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldnknight

maybe i worded it wrong, but i was going to go in the fall this year but i get a little intimidated by all the people going. i feel like my chances are lower and i wouldn't get noticed. maybe im just nervous? honestly though i do drink but my frat guy friends ive known for awhile... and i dont get trashed and pass out on floors

Honestly, your best chance at joining could very well be during fall formal recruitment, since that is when ALL sororities will take new members. Spring recruitment is a bit different. Not every sorority participates, and those that do participate have a limited number of spots available. Not saying that spring recruitment is bad, it's just that you could have more options if you do formal since you'll see all of the sororities and meet more people.

#15 08-06-2008, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Honestly, your best chance at joining could very well be during fall formal recruitment, since that is when ALL sororities will take new members. Spring recruitment is a bit different. Not every sorority participates, and those that do participate have a limited number of spots available. Not saying that spring recruitment is bad, it's just that you could have more options if you do formal since you'll see all of the sororities and meet more people.

UCF begins FR on the 18th. If she wants to participate, she better get moving.