events
 

I decided to try informal rush in the spring if any sororities need more members to fill but I do know a lot of people in sororities and fraternities and was planning on going to some events that they do. I also do party with a couple of frat guys off campus (I knew them before they got initiated). I was wondering if any of this could hurt my reputation?

YES.

Read this thread when you get a chance: http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=97700

Pay close attention to the guys in her story and ask yourself if partying with these guys prior to and during rush is worth risking your chance at a bid.

To the OP, also keep in mind that, even though your connections to these fraternity guys may be innocent and harmless, sorority members may not see it that way. If your association with them is limited to the parties, I'd just stay away.

..and what Kansas City said. :)

Honestly, if I were an undergrad, I doubt I'd want somebody in my fraternity who's filling a "spot". Focus on what attributes you can bring to a sorority, such as clubs you belong to, sports (intramurals or college level), neat hobbies you have and special abilities. I remember being a freshman and it seemed like the only things seperating me from the average was my associations with older girls. But then when I got involved in Kappa Sigma, they started asking me about how I was the prez of 2 other clubs, how I was a member of a third, how I ran a large fundraiser, etc. I'm sure you've got lots of attributes (including that you did your research and hopped on GC rather than just listening to randoms) that would make you attractive to other sororities.

However, if you like to "party" with Greek guys, my OPH describes them best as having a V/W syndrome. Essentially the girls they like to have fun with are not the same girls they want as a sweetheart.

Thomas

maybe i worded it wrong, but i was going to go in the fall this year but i get a little intimidated by all the people going. i feel like my chances are lower and i wouldn't get noticed. maybe im just nervous? honestly though i do drink but my frat guy friends ive known for awhile... and i dont get trashed and pass out on floors

I'd say you have nothing to worry about. Rush is nervous, especially when you know they could blackball you, but honestly, 99% of sororities are happy to have dedicated members who will be there not only for the first week of class, but for study hours, for fundraisers and to stay late in the night learning stuff.

I think if you focus on your positives, and downplay any negatives, you'll do fine. After all, a sorority who is only interested in how many beer you can handle is probably not something you want to put on your resume.

Thomas

If you're intimidated by Fall Recruitment, I'd hate to think of how you'll be during Spring Informal. For starters, not all sororities (if any) participate in Spring Informal. Your chances are slimmer because there are only a few spots open. Second, those spots may very well go to girls who participated in Fall Recruitment because they didn't get a bid for whatever reason. The sororities already know them and may like them. They'll have an edge over you because the sororities won't know you. Or the bids might go to friends of sorority members.

Last, who cares if you've known these guy friends for a while? The sororities don't know that and they don't care. Even if you don't get trashed and pass out, they'll know you as the girl who always hangs out at the frat house. The background stuff won't matter.

Why don't you try to make friends with a few sorority sisters from different groups before you decide to commit if you're that nervous. Most sisters are pretty friendly, especially if you explain you're interested in joining, but have reservations. They might invite you to come with them to some events. We always (a fraternity) have people who are interested and if we invite them to events, sooner or later they feel comfortable enough to join.

That said, my fraternity has only ever blackballed 2 people that I know of. If there is a spot open, and you're willing to make friends fast, I am sure there are worthwhile organizations.

Also, if sororities make you nervous, why don't you become involved with other on campus groups which generally tend to be less exclusive, sometimes pretty friendly and always willing to put people to good work.

Thomas

I think we may be blowing it out of proportion- she knows people in fraternities, she didn't say she's over there every single night. I agree with the above posters, definitely don't be "that girl". But fraternities will most likely come up at some point during rush conversation (about mixers) and you could maybe say "oh yeah some of my friends from home are XYZs" or mention that you saw how much fun your fraternity friends have and that made you interested in joining a sorority.

She made it clear twice that she parties with these guys. Partying with them =/= knowing people in fraternities. She was concerned if this could hurt her reputation, and it can.

I don't think we're blowing anything out of proportion at all. I remember how it was like being 18-22 years old and jumping to conclusions quickly so I think we're just being realistic here because it doesn't seem like she is.

Based on the OP's other posts, she's at UCF. If I'm not mistaken UCF begins FR in just about 2 weeks. I get the impression that she's going to wait until Spring. A lot can happen from now until then.

UCF begins FR on the 18th. If she wants to participate, she better get moving.