How important is family background to you?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Hypothetically, anything can happen once you're married to someone. He knows where his "bread is buttered" and knows it isn't being buttered by his "bad family members." They have nothing positive to contribute so they really should be treated at arm's length. His primary family and primary focus are on HIS wife and kid.

That's not open for negotiation. However, if he independently chooses to dumb down and lends his "bad family members" money from HIS account, he better not touch the joint account, then he better be smart enough to do a contract of repayment for small claims court purposes. Business never personal. I can't be mad at what comes from HIS account but he better make sure it doesn't interfere with OUR finances and OUR family. People will disrupt your life and then go about their business, leaving you to pick up the pieces. A grown man knows all of this so I don't foresee this ever being more than a passing discussion.

I was thinking only one account. A joint account. Some couples are actually doing the two separate and one joint thing though. I don't see the purpose. I could see if he was bad with money, but even then, two separate accounts wouldn't make things better. I guess I look at marriage like the two candles. You know when there's two candles during the majority of the wedding ceremony, then they light one and blow the other two out? Everything should be one, including the account.

I think it causes a whole new set of problems when family members start asking to borrow money though.