How important is family background to you?

[XOMichelle]

I feel like I've get along better with men who grew up in a similar socioeconomic and educational environments. They are used how I feel about various topics: family, career, money, etc, and are more likely to agree with me. The last time I dated someone with a very different background, it didn't go very well (of course, he was jacked-up independent of that, but the background differences accentuated some stuff).

As for family involvement... my family is low-key and uninvolved (we all live far from each other), and I would get weirded out by more involved families. I would def spar with the woman who wanted to give me a crib to spurr on childbearing! Of course, I'm going to get married old-ish, so I'm hoping the future in-law has more sense than to mess with a 30+ y.o.

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by XOMichelle

I feel like I've get along better with men who grew up in a similar socioeconomic and educational environments.

i totally agree...there are several rule breakers for me.

1. mamas boy...do i really need to go there lol!
2. grew up completely spoiled and doesnt "respect" money
3. nosy azz family. why do my S.O's aunts all have my phone number??? at first i was upset, but they never call so its ok. but if they did???
4. doesnt attend ANY kind of church. we need to both believe in Jesus, the rest can be dealt with over time. i dont have the type of religion where one of us needs to convert so that is a good starting point.

[RU OX Alum]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

i totally agree...there are several rule breakers for me.

1. mamas boy...do i really need to go there lol!
2. grew up completely spoiled and doesnt "respect" money
3. nosy azz family. why do my S.O's aunts all have my phone number??? at first i was upset, but they never call so its ok. but if they did???
4. doesnt attend ANY kind of church. we need to both believe in Jesus, the rest can be dealt with over time. i dont have the type of religion where one of us needs to convert so that is a good starting point.

How can you say he won't have to convert if you have to both believe in Jesus?

[agzg]

Originally Posted by XOMichelle

As for family involvement... my family is low-key and uninvolved (we all live far from each other), and I would get weirded out by more involved families. I would def spar with the woman who wanted to give me a crib to spurr on childbearing! Of course, I'm going to get married old-ish, so I'm hoping the future in-law has more sense than to mess with a 30+ y.o.

I've never seen a boyfriend's parents more than this one - probably because we only live 45 minutes away. We see at least one of my boyfriend's family members almost every week. I'm 24, we're not married, we're just starting this living together thing. The woman is baby crazy!

I'm so glad my boyfriend agrees with me on the child/marriage issue, though - We are planning on it but not until we're financially stable enough to support that kind of life! Plus, he said, and this is a direct quote: "If you got pregnant we'd NEVER get rid of my mom!"

Part of me thinks she wants to live out her own life through us (his parents divorced a couple of years ago). I have a feeling that if and when we get married and have kids, the pressure would be on to have a girl, specifically, because she had two boys and always talks about how she wished they'd had a girl, too, so she'd have someone to girltalk with. Girltalk with her makes me extremely uncomfortable.