How important is family background to you?

[LightBulb]

Honestly, it'd be hard not to think about family if the relationship were serious.

However, a person does not choose her/his family; as the old quote goes, "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves."

[agzg]

Originally Posted by LightBulb

Honestly, it'd be hard not to think about family if the relationship were serious.

However, a person does not choose her/his family; as the old quote goes, "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves."

Right. I can handle a couple of sucky friends (everyone has a few) but if ALL of his friends suck, that's a deal-breaker for me because he picked them!

[awkward1]

Someone once gave me this piece of advice and I find it to be true:

Watch how your boyfriend treats his mother, this is how he will eventually treat you. Beware if he treats his mother badly.

Men should spend time with their girlfriends mother because over time the girlfriend will become more and more like her mother.

[AKA_Monet]

Before I was married: I had a HUGE problem with baby's mama's drama... We ain't talking married, had a baby (ies), then divorced. We are talking, never been married, strung quite a few women along, had a few babies with each of them, and how want to get with you--someone who has 3 degrees, worked hard in school, making ends meet, etc. etc. etc. This is this man's family--drama in the past--who would get himself into that hot ghetto mess?

After I was married: There were no hidden trap doors (lol) with baby's mama's calling and hanging up at the house, etc. And whatnot. Extended family may not have much to do with the end result, but I chose someone of similar background to mine. He has both parents--or at least knows both parents and they shaped his personality.

My husband is more distant to his immediate family than I am to mine. Not just physically distant, but also mentally. He speaks to his folks roughly weekly, if that. I speak to my folks almost every other day. But that is my make up. How I connect to my folks is a bone of contention between us, because he does not share similar "family values" as I have been accustomed to. Did I know this before we were married? Sort of... There were some things I was in denial about or thought it would change over time. It did not--it has not--it might not...

Welp, all I can say, the dealbreaker is you never know ultimately until after you sign your name on the license.