Quote:
Originally Posted by AGDee
I looked for research statistics on this but they differ greatly. I can say that the vast majority of people I know who are divorced got divorced because of one of the three reasons you mentioned and that none of them went into the marriage or the divorce lightly. Of course that's not a scientific sample.
Divorce is a traumatizing and difficult experience for everybody involved. To counter the question "Why get divorced for anything else?".. wellllll, do you want to spend every day for the rest of your life living with someone you don't speak to and don't like because they either changed drastically after getting married or weren't honest with you about who they really were before you married? Would you want to forego having children because your spouse decided after you got married that he/she didn't want children? Would you be able to stay married to someone who had a drastic change in their religious beliefs after marriage? Do you know what it's like to never be able to relax in your own home because you and your spouse can't be in the same room together without arguing? Or to sleep on a couch for 6 years because your spouse angers you so much that you can't sleep in the same bed with them? Or, to suggest marriage counseling and have your spouse refuse because "it's your problem you're not happy in this marriage?" It's not easy to categorize every reason into something acceptable. As for second marriages, I think that most of the time, people think they have learned something from the first time around and won't make the same mistakes again. Sometimes they're wrong, sometimes they make different mistakes. Lastly, when our society began the institution of marriage, life expectancy was much shorter, so people didn't have to be married nearly as long!
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AGDee, you make some very valid points, but I wouldn't marry a guy that I didn't think would be a great husband for me. Of course, I would make sure he and I shared the same family values. I've never been married, but I'm sure it can be hard. Through all the trials and tribulations that come with marriage, there are some positive things also, and I think a couple really should work through the negative things by focusing on the positive. Marriage is a blessing from God and anything from God is always good. That means marriage is good, it's the people in the marriage that make it bad. If a couple doesn't want to work it out and then divorce, then why even get married again to someone else. What's the point? Of course I don't think anyone should be miserable in a marriage, but it's never going to get better if both are not willing to work at it. It takes two. If one is willing and the other one isn't, of course it's not going to work. I just really think our generation is very selfish and are not willing to sacrifice. Marriage is a sacrifice. The Bible says for men to love your wives like Jesus loved the Church and gave himself for it. That's sacrifice. So through the trials and tribulations, I'm just a believer that if a couple is willing to work together and sacrifice for one another, it can work, even through the bad times.
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