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Welcome to our newest member, agelmaarleyz434 |
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05-10-2007, 01:04 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 9,971
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek
AGDee, you make some very valid points, but I wouldn't marry a guy that I didn't think would be a great husband for me. Of course, I would make sure he and I shared the same family values. I've never been married, but I'm sure it can be hard. Through all the trials and tribulations that come with marriage, there are some positive things also, and I think a couple really should work through the negative things by focusing on the positive. Marriage is a blessing from God and anything from God is always good. That means marriage is good, it's the people in the marriage that make it bad. If a couple doesn't want to work it out and then divorce, then why even get married again to someone else. What's the point? Of course I don't think anyone should be miserable in a marriage, but it's never going to get better if both are not willing to work at it. It takes two. If one is willing and the other one isn't, of course it's not going to work. I just really think our generation is very selfish and are not willing to sacrifice. Marriage is a sacrifice. The Bible says for men to love your wives like Jesus loved the Church and gave himself for it. That's sacrifice. So through the trials and tribulations, I'm just a believer that if a couple is willing to work together and sacrifice for one another, it can work, even through the bad times.
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Just because the Bible says people should do something doesn't mean they do. See thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not bear false witness...
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05-10-2007, 01:07 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 16,128
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin
Just because the Bible says people should do something doesn't mean they do. See thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not bear false witness...
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And there's a consequence when you kill, steal and bear false witness. Just like the marriage won't work if Christ isn't in that marriage.
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05-10-2007, 01:10 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 9,971
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek
And there's a consequence when you kill, steal and bear false witness. Just like the marriage won't work if Christ isn't in that marriage.
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That's a stupid, ignorant thing to say. There's a lot of atheists who are married with working marriages. Lower divorce rates than a lot of religious people too.
Are you the CG from Minnesota? I think you are. Lots of people here get divorced because the wife isn't the sexy Targetron she was at 23. Don't worry, though, they still go to church with their new mistress.
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05-10-2007, 01:12 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Beyond
Posts: 5,092
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek
AGDee, you make some very valid points, but I wouldn't marry a guy that I didn't think would be a great husband for me. Of course, I would make sure he and I shared the same family values. I've never been married, but I'm sure it can be hard. Through all the trials and tribulations that come with marriage, there are some positive things also, and I think a couple really should work through the negative things by focusing on the positive. Marriage is a blessing from God and anything from God is always good. That means marriage is good, it's the people in the marriage that make it bad. If a couple doesn't want to work it out and then divorce, then why even get married again to someone else. What's the point? Of course I don't think anyone should be miserable in a marriage, but it's never going to get better if both are not willing to work at it. It takes two. If one is willing and the other one isn't, of course it's not going to work. I just really think our generation is very selfish and are not willing to sacrifice. Marriage is a sacrifice. The Bible says for men to love your wives like Jesus loved the Church and gave himself for it. That's sacrifice. So through the trials and tribulations, I'm just a believer that if a couple is willing to work together and sacrifice for one another, it can work, even through the bad times.
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Sweetheart, ADGee has been through a lot and has a different life experience from you.
Do not say what you won't do when you have not been married. You never know until it is actually done... And believe me, the comment on the picture is VERY EASY to do. But the longterm repercussions are costly. However, when caught in a bad marriage and no fault of your own like several GC'ers, then you have to find strength to carry on.
If you do believe in God and are a Christian, the you have to KNOW Phillipians 11:17. God will give you what you can bare for several reasons.
You can enjoy the good times, but you must endure the bad times if you are to survive...
__________________
We thank and pledge Alpha Kappa Alpha to remember...
"I'm watching with a new service that translates 'stupid-to-English'" ~ @Shoq of ShoqValue.com 1 of my Tweeple
"Yo soy una mujer negra" ~Zoe Saldana
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05-10-2007, 01:14 AM
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Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: NY
Posts: 8,594
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Whats a Targetron?
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin
That's a stupid, ignorant thing to say. There's a lot of atheists who are married with working marriages. Lower divorce rates than a lot of religious people too.
Are you the CG from Minnesota? I think you are. Lots of people here get divorced because the wife isn't the sexy Targetron she was at 23. Don't worry, though, they still go to church with their new mistress.
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05-10-2007, 01:21 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 573
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin
Covenant marriages are kind of insane. It's sort of like the state taking a similiar approach to the Catholic church - it requires a lot more premarital counseling and divorce is only allowed for certain reasons. The Wiki article on it has a few sites with more information - and also brings up an interesting point. If I get married in Louisiana in a covenant marriage, nothing is to stop me from getting a divorce in Minnesota or some other state that doesn't have them.
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Wow. I read the Wiki article and I'm Googling more info on covenant marriages as I post. I've never heard about this kind of arrangement before tonight. It's very interesting, to say the least. Thanks for the info.
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ACW
To let my lyre send forth the chords of love, unselfishness and sincerity
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05-10-2007, 01:22 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 16,128
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin
That's a stupid, ignorant thing to say. There's a lot of atheists who are married with working marriages. Lower divorce rates than a lot of religious people too.
Are you the CG from Minnesota? I think you are. Lots of people here get divorced because the wife isn't the sexy Targetron she was at 23. Don't worry, though, they still go to church with their new mistress.
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o.k. o.k. calm down.
I don't disagree with everything you've just posted. The divorce rate is higher among Christians. Why? I don't know, but we'll have to agree to disagree, because I still think a couple should work through the tribulations, and through Christ it can be done. I can't speak for the Christians who get a divorce, but I know a lot that stay married.
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05-10-2007, 01:23 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 9,971
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Quote:
Originally Posted by James
Whats a Targetron?
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The Target HQ is in downtown Minneapolis and there are a lot of young and beautiful women working there - think the adult equivalent of your Barbie-doll chapters thread.
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05-10-2007, 01:26 AM
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Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: NY
Posts: 8,594
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Oh lol. thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin
The Target HQ is in downtown Minneapolis and there are a lot of young and beautiful women working there - think the adult equivalent of your Barbie-doll chapters thread.
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05-10-2007, 01:26 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 9,971
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek
o.k. o.k. calm down.
I don't disagree with everything you've just posted. The divorce rate is higher among Christians. Why? I don't know, but we'll have to agree to disagree, because I still think a couple should work through the tribulations, and through Christ it can be done. I can't speak for the Christians who get a divorce, but I know a lot that stay married.
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Divorce rate is higher among evangelical Protestants. Catholics and Lutherans (who are still Christian!) have the lowest divorce rates of everyone. Don't throw all your Christians in one basket.
I really think this problem could be fixed if people would stop getting married just to have sex or because the girl is knocked up, but that would probably require some pastors to acknowledge that people still do it even after signing that True Love Waits card.
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05-10-2007, 01:27 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 16,128
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_Monet
Sweetheart, ADGee has been through a lot and has a different life experience from you.
Do not say what you won't do when you have not been married. You never know until it is actually done... And believe me, the comment on the picture is VERY EASY to do. But the longterm repercussions are costly. However, when caught in a bad marriage and no fault of your own like several GC'ers, then you have to find strength to carry on.
If you do believe in God and are a Christian, the you have to KNOW Phillipians 11:17. God will give you what you can bare for several reasons.
You can enjoy the good times, but you must endure the bad times if you are to survive...
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I know. It's hard for me to speak on it when I haven't done it, but a lot of people who have been married for 30, 40 and 50 years don't have a recipe for a successful marriage. They sacrifce and work it out.
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05-10-2007, 01:27 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 528
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EE-BO
My theory is that it is a matter of living in a society with more choices.
I think divorce is more common now because both parties in a marriage are more likely to have the education and opportunities to find a better life if they are not getting what they want/need/deserve out of marriage.
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By the same token though, I think that we live in a more selfish society today than we did back then. People are far more concerned about "what's in it for them" than they were years ago. (About everything - not specifically marriage/divorce. I'm certainly not saying that people who get divorced are selfish!) You really could put a positive or a negative spin on that, but I don't think anyone would dispute the notion that in today's society people are more concerned about immediate gratification.
Back then, people were more likely to start and finish their career with one employer. (People were more loyal to their employers, and employers were more loyal to them.) Back then, people were more likely to save money and pay cash for a major purchase. (As opposed to getting in over their heads in credit, for the immediate gratification of the material good.) Back then, people were more likely to begin their careers and marriages in a community near their extended family. (Moving and living in new cities is exciting, of course...not trying to say that's a "bad" thing. It just creates complications in the marital relationship that weren't as big of an issue back then - time/expense involved in traveling to visit families, possible feelings of isolation, etc.)
I could go on, but I'm tired.  To sum it up, society has changed in a myriad of ways since then, and a lot of those seemingly unrelated things may have had more influence on marriage/divorce things than we even realize.
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05-10-2007, 01:28 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 16,128
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin
Divorce rate is higher among evangelical Protestants. Catholics and Lutherans (who are still Christian!) have the lowest divorce rates of everyone. Don't throw all your Christians in one basket.
I really think this problem could be fixed if people would stop getting married just to have sex or because the girl is knocked up, but that would probably require some pastors to acknowledge that people still do it even after signing that True Love Waits card. 
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lol at the girl being knocked up.
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05-10-2007, 01:32 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Twin Cities
Posts: 6,739
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This is a good topic. I think the bottom line is if you aren't willing to sacrifice, then don't get married. Period.
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05-10-2007, 01:33 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Beyond
Posts: 5,092
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek
The divorce rate is higher among Christians. Why? I don't know, but we'll have to agree to disagree, because I still think a couple should work through the tribulations, and through Christ it can be done. I can't speak for the Christians who get a divorce, but I know a lot that stay married.
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So I have seen both a Buddhist Vietnamese wedding and both Muslim and Hindu weddings have been described to me. So, if one is not a Christian, how do they allow Christ to assist a couple in their marriages?
Rarely do I see Muslims getting divorced. Rarely.
For that matter, rarely do I see Hindus getting divorced...
I'm sure it happens, but I don't know anyone who has gotten divorced.
In generally, American society gets divorced. It doesn't matter what God they believe. Hayle, they can worship the Devil, they still get divorced...
Marriages are NOT fairy tales. They are serious. I don't think this seriousness is relayed.
__________________
We thank and pledge Alpha Kappa Alpha to remember...
"I'm watching with a new service that translates 'stupid-to-English'" ~ @Shoq of ShoqValue.com 1 of my Tweeple
"Yo soy una mujer negra" ~Zoe Saldana
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