Adopting a Snowflake

[honeychile]

One of my closest sisters was unable to conceive, and her husband's religion didn't allow for IVF, so they decided to adopt. KSUViolet described the situation SOO well, I won't repeat it, only where Sister lives (San Diego County), the definition of a healthy white baby is one who is ONLY addicted to cocaine. They decided to try international adoption.

After passing all of the psychological and other tests, they were sent a catalog (for lack of a better word) of available children. They saw 2 sisters, 10 months & 2 years old, and fell in love. They were approved, and it was off to Romania!

Only to find out the FIVE couples were approved for these sisters! If that wasn't bad enough, these two children became unavailable because their mother showed up. Like the other four couples, they decided not to leave without a baby. They found a 2 year old girl, and adopted her.

Sister & her husband have money and haves PhDs. Daughter got the best of everything, including education, and life was good.

Fast-forward to sixth grade. Sister & Husband were called in to talk to the school psychologist. Daughter was high functioning, but would never be able to live alone. You see, before she was adopted, Daughter had never had anything to eat other than cold milk and orange juice. She had never been out of a crib. So, while she was healthy physically, the deprivation of much needed nutrition didn't allow her brain to function properly.

Daughter is now 20. She is absolutely beautiful, very polite, and tries very hard. But she cannot process problems, so she can't drive, or do anything that takes a quick decision. Sister & Husband wouldn't have missed the opportunity to raise a child, but occasionally, something slips that makes you realize that they worry about Daughter's future. What will happen when they're gone? Will some man take advantage of her?

I'm not against international adoption, but I do think that, at least in Sister's case, there needs to be more honesty. Who would have thought that a two-year-old would have never eaten, or been out of a crib?

Anytime someone has a child, no matter how it's conceived, there's a possibility of problems. If you can't handle that thought, you really shouldn't be having children in any way!