I do not like my chapter...

[tiana01]

Thank you KSUViolet06. It was not a big help because the orginal poster was only in there for two weeks. I have already been intiated and its been six months since seven if you include the new member term. So I have tried the tips that other users have suggested on that thread. Also I am on a commitee so I am involved. It seems i am just not clicking with anyone.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by tiana01

Thank you KSUViolet06. It was not a big help because the orginal poster was only in there for two weeks. I have already been intiated and its been six months since seven if you include the new member term. So I have tried the tips that other users have suggested on that thread.

Ok. I'm going to try to be honest here and hopefully you can appreciate that. Here's the thing. I know it's not fun to feel like you don't fit in, but transfering to a new chapter doesn't = instant happiness and best friends and ponies and rainbows.

Transfering to another school doesn't mean that things will be different.

Those women at your new school aren't going to be your instant BFFs.

In some ways, it's harder to build relationships as a transfer because you have the additional hurdle of being completely NEW to their school.

They will have their own pledge classes/cliques/etc. and it's not going to be "omg soooo much better than my old school" right away.

If that's what you think, you should probably re-evaluate switching schools.

Just like any other relationship in life, sorority relationships take time. There are some people who didn't feel at home in their sorority until they lived in house. Maybe you're one of those people.

You're obviously going to do whatever you want, I'm just saying that transfering isn't going to be the magic cure for not fitting in somewhere else. You could very well find yourself not fitting in with your NEW chapter sisters as well.

[tiana01]

Your right! That's why I’m going to give it another year with me living in. Also your right about me transferring to the other school I could end up in the same situation I am in now. While I did not think transferring would mean insta-friends. My main reasons for transferring was to actual be in-state (fincial) and be able to go home for breaks (super homesick). I Really do appreciate your being honest with me. Thank you KSUViolet!!

[excelblue]

I usually find that it takes major things like road trips, random crazy nights, etc. to turn a weak bond into a strong bond.

Has being on committees exposed you to things like those, or has it just mostly been business as usual and lunches that end after an hour?

Not sure if this would help, but just putting it out there. Also: caveat, I'm in a fraternity, not a sorority.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Also, depending on your sorority, the sisters at the transfer school may vote against accepting your affiliation. Then you'd have no sorority to be active with on campus at all.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by tiana01

My main reasons for transferring was to actual be in-state (financial) and be able to go home for breaks (super homesick).

Just as I thought, the real issue isn't your sorority. The real issue is you.

Originally Posted by excelblue

Also: caveat, I'm in a fraternity, not a sorority.

This kind of thing doesn't vary by sorority vs. fraternity any more than it can vary by individual and by specific GLO.

[steelerbear]

Originally Posted by tiana01

Your right! That's why I’m going to give it another year with me living in. Also your right about me transferring to the other school I could end up in the same situation I am in now. While I did not think transferring would mean insta-friends. My main reasons for transferring was to actual be in-state (fincial) and be able to go home for breaks (super homesick). I Really do appreciate your being honest with me. Thank you KSUViolet!!

I like that you want to give things another year, Tiana; it shows that you understand things can change depending on circumstances. You may also find that you're closer to the newer members who are younger than you are, which may help things out even more. On the other hand, things could stay about the same for you as they are now, or even get worse for you (and I certainly hope they don't).

When I was a collegian, I told my mother--a very active sorority sister of mine, as it happens--that I was having thoughts about relinquishing my membership because I didn't totally feel like I fit in. Oh, I did when I joined--I adored the seniors and juniors, especially. But once they graduated, I didn't have the close relationships a lot of the other girls did, and many of them (coincidentally some who served on Exec Board a time or two) seemed to dismiss everything I ever said or did. But my mom, ever the active alumna, told me that her best years in Phi Mu have been as an alumna, and so I should stick it out for my last two years. I did, and I'm extremely glad that I made that choice.

One last thing: remember that, if/when you transfer, you'll most likely have to petition the chapter of your sorority at your new school to be accepted into their chapter. From the sound of it, you may already have connections with the girls there, but it's never guaranteed that the entire chapter will want you to join them. It's just one more thing to think about.

Best of luck to you!