I do not like my chapter...
 

but I love my Sorority. I have been wanting to transfer to another school in hopes of being closer to the girls in that chapter. However this is not the only/main reason I want to transfer. I have actively tried to get close to girls in the chapter: going to the house more, inviting girls out to eat, and participating more in activities but it is certainly a bust. My plan is to give it another year with me actually living in to see if it gets any better. What would you do?

Good reads (threads started by someone in a similar situation.) I hope it helps you:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=118341

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=112091

Thank you KSUViolet06. It was not a big help because the orginal poster was only in there for two weeks. I have already been intiated and its been six months since seven if you include the new member term. So I have tried the tips that other users have suggested on that thread. Also I am on a commitee so I am involved. It seems i am just not clicking with anyone.

Your right! That's why I’m going to give it another year with me living in. Also your right about me transferring to the other school I could end up in the same situation I am in now. While I did not think transferring would mean insta-friends. My main reasons for transferring was to actual be in-state (fincial) and be able to go home for breaks (super homesick). I Really do appreciate your being honest with me. Thank you KSUViolet!!

I usually find that it takes major things like road trips, random crazy nights, etc. to turn a weak bond into a strong bond.

Has being on committees exposed you to things like those, or has it just mostly been business as usual and lunches that end after an hour?

Not sure if this would help, but just putting it out there. Also: caveat, I'm in a fraternity, not a sorority.

Also, depending on your sorority, the sisters at the transfer school may vote against accepting your affiliation. Then you'd have no sorority to be active with on campus at all.

I would stop blaming others and think of how I may contribute to the tone of the chapter. I doubt that you feel isolated from the chapter due to no fault of your own. That's not usually how it works. Even complaining to us (and probably others), wanting to transfer, and saying that you're giving it one more year sets a tone that others can probably feel.

One thing that I've learned at the college and alumnae levels is that if a chapter disliked a person, that person may not have become a member (or been allowed to affiliate) in the first place. The members who feel isolated often contribute to how they feel--some people are socially awkward or are trying too hard to make friends rather than relaxing and letting life flow.

What I suggest: Relaxing and letting things flow as they will; and not bad mouthing the chapter to other people.

Things that the chapter can discuss doing (not based on your complaints): sisterhood retreats; discuss membership and sisterhood at the chapter meetings; plan a really fun event together; plan a service event together. You may be doing these things but their success requires equal participation and people being open to each other.

It's important to remember that sometimes college students are going to act like silly people because they're young. But, silly and stupid are not exclusive to the members of your chapter; and they don't end when you graduate from college. Be realistic about what you expect. And don't treat others as though you are above the influence and they're disappointing you.

Just as I thought, the real issue isn't your sorority. The real issue is you.

This kind of thing doesn't vary by sorority vs. fraternity any more than it can vary by individual and by specific GLO.

Also after participting in recruitment as an active you might feel better and more bonded with some of the sisters. You will be spending a lot of time together during that week and depending on your school the week before. It really brings people together.

Actual its the social commitee so its really relaxed and last for a a few hours but I enjoy it! I do not even notice the time.

Yes, I was aware of this also!

[QUOTE=DrPhil;2041436]Just as I thought, the real issue isn't your sorority. The real issue is you. QUOTE]

1) I do NOT blame my chapter for my dislike! They have put as much effort as I have! Its more like i am not clicking with the girls so far and vice versa. Like KSUViolet said maybe i just have to live in to be closer! Which I am next year! And even this has gotten me closer to some girls.

2) I feel that I have not Bad mouthed my chapter. I just said I am not close to anyone.

3) Our chapter already does all thosethings you listed! :) Even I have said ideas for sisterhoods.

4) Im not expecting to be BFF instantly but atleast be more than an associate. Also i do not treat my chapter like i am dissappointed in them when they day ends they are still my sisters.


I have gone through recruitment as an active. :)

Do you go over to the house just to hang out - no meetings or anything involved?

If you're with someone else and see a sister sitting in the student center/cafeteria/lobby of a class building, do you automatically go over and say hi to her and introduce your friend, or do you avoid her because you're with someone else? This also applies if you're by yourself.

If you don't do these things you're probably going to continue to be an "in name only" sister.

As far as the transferring, if you have to do so for financial reasons, that's one thing, but if you want to do it to go home for breaks...why do you want to do this? Do you think your HS friends will be there? They most likely have their own lives at college now, as you should have yours.

I totally understand what you're saying. This isn't your fault, and it isn't your chapter's. It seems like you have really made an effort so far, which is more than a lot of sisters do when they're feeling left out.

If you need to transfer for financial or personal reasons, then you should absolutely try to reaffiliate at your new school and try your best there. However, if you don't need to transfer just yet, i definitely agree with some of the advice on here.

Recruitment as an initiated sister is a totally new experience! it is one of the most memorable bonding experiences of my 4 years. Living in is also a great experience. i lived in the house my sophomore and junior years, and it felt totally different from my freshman year, it was great! Until you move in to the house, and start recruitment, just try and keep doing what you've been doing: making an effort, going to events, and getting to know your sisters. If after all that, it just doesn't work out, then maybe that chapter just isn't for you.

Welp, you know all of the answers already. There ya go.

I still say that your desire to transfer for financial and home sick reasons can create a tone of "someone PLEASE make me happy" and "I'm only here as long as I can be here" that other sisters may sense.

Also, note that there can be a difference between "I do not like my chapter" and "I'm not close to any of the members...yet." You've already decided that you do not like them. I definitely consider that both a self-fulfilling prophecy and bad mouthing your chapter.

So in other words, you joined this group primarily because of its national reputation/values/mission/what have you, rather than because you felt a connection with the girls in your present school's chapter?

Are you in an NPC or an NPHC group?