Is mutual selection really mutual?

[RusheeNumero3]

Originally Posted by CutiePie2000

You did not do yourself any favors by not attending the Preference Parties of Choice #1 and Choice #2. It was also a mistake to put down Choice #3 on your Preference Sheet at the end of the night, if you had no intention of ever joining that group. I don't understand why you would not attend Preference at #1 and #2? If anything, if you didn't want Choice #3, skipping their Choice #3's Preference would probably have send the message, loud and clear to them. From what you've written, you skipped Preference #1 and #2's Parties. This makes no sense to me at all. Please explain why you would do that?

I did go to all the pref parties. Then I ranked them at the end. My Rho Chi told me that I should put down all 3 because it makes the computer freak out if you only put in 2.

Also. It's too late. I already rejected my bid. I got my bid at 10 and we had to decide by noon. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go to bid day crying so I just went home.

[WinniBug]

Originally Posted by RusheeNumero3

Also. It's too late. I already rejected my bid. I got my bid at 10 and we had to decide by noon. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go to bid day crying so I just went home.

That's what I was about to ask....whether you decided to give Choice #3 a chance or not.
Ahhhh.....I wish you hadn't turned down your bid. You could have been surprisingly happy there!

[texas*princess]

Well, sorry to hear you already rejected the bid. That's really too bad.

If what you said is true (The Rho Chi telling you to put it down anyway since there is only a small chance and that the computer would freak out if you only put down 2 choices) I agree with someone else who said that is bad advice.

In the end though, if you went back in time and didn't write down the 3rd group, like we've already said, you would have gone bidless. So now that you've already rejected the bid that was given to you, you have the same conclusion. Questions answered. End of thread

[CutiePie2000]

Originally Posted by RusheeNumero3

I did go to all the pref parties. Then I ranked them at the end. My Rho Chi told me that I should put down all 3 because it makes the computer freak out if you only put in 2.

Also. It's too late. I already rejected my bid. I got my bid at 10 and we had to decide by noon. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go to bid day crying so I just went home.

I edited my post, once I saw that you did attend #1 and #2. Sorry about that.

As for the computer "freaking out" if you put down 2 choices only, that's Panhell's problem, not yours.

FWIW, I do feel your pain. I think you were giving some bad advice by the Rho Chi, as was I, when I rushed and I also ending up turning down my bid. I do not regret it, but I do regret listening to the advice of the Rho Chi. I would rather have gone bidless, than received a bid from a group that I didn't want.

Originally Posted by RusheeNumero3

I dunno it just really didn't feel right. Ugh. Oh well. I just feel stupid now.

If it didn't feel right, that's your instincts telling you something. I'm sorry that the result was disappointing but I think it's better to be a GDI than unhappy in the wrong group.

[RusheeNumero3]

Originally Posted by CutiePie2000

As for the computer "freaking out" if you put down 2 choices only, that's Panhell's problem, not yours.

FWIW, I do feel your pain. I think you were giving some bad advice by the Rho Chi, as was I, when I rushed and I also ending up turning down my bid. I do not regret it, but I do regret listening to the advice of the Rho Chi. I would rather have gone bidless, than received a bid from a group that I didn't want.


If it didn't feel right, that's your instincts telling you something. I'm sorry that the result was disappointing but I think it's better to be a GDI than unhappy in the wrong group.

Thanks that def makes me feel better. I just wish I hadn't thought I had to put down all 3. I def would have rather not had a bid. Then I could have done informal in the spring. But since I turned down my bid now I can't.

I'm glad I went through recruitment because I did meet a lot of great girls and it totally shattered all the stereotypes that I had before. At least I came away with some new friends.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by RusheeNumero3

Thanks that def makes me feel better. I just wish I hadn't thought I had to put down all 3. I def would have rather not had a bid.

You can't rush again until next year. So it may have been a good idea to give #3 a shot.

But what's done is done at this point.

This serves as some good advice to PNMs, really think before you sign your final card because if you do, make sure you're willing to take a bid from any group you list.

[MerryGPhiB]

Originally Posted by RusheeNumero3

I did go to all the pref parties. Then I ranked them at the end. My Rho Chi told me that I should put down all 3 because it makes the computer freak out if you only put in 2.

Also. It's too late. I already rejected my bid. I got my bid at 10 and we had to decide by noon. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go to bid day crying so I just went home.

I'm not sure when bid day was, however, could you call the panhellenic office and reconsider the bid? Its just a suggestion. If it is not something you want to do, then don't . But it might be worth a try if interested.

[breathesgelatin]

Originally Posted by MerryGPhiB

I'm not sure when bid day was, however, could you call the panhellenic office and reconsider the bid? Its just a suggestion. If it is not something you want to do, then don't . But it might be worth a try if interested.

Seconding this advice.

Seems like you have a good attitude about the whole thing after reflecting on it. Good luck to you.

[RusheeNumero3]

Do you think I could talk to the Greek Life office about letting me do informal recruitment in the spring? Even though I signed my pref card? It said that if you turn down a bid (like I did) that you're ineligible for a year. My Rho Chi really led me to believe that I had to put all three of the sororities I went to on my preference card. Even though after she went over the rules I told her I wouldn't be comfortable with my 3rd choice.

I don't know how I'm going to feel about joining a sorority a semester from now, but I feel like I was misinformed. I doubt the Greek life office will care that I misunderstood. But I wanted to get y'alls opinion on trying to go that route. I really don't want to get my Rho Chi or anyone in trouble though. Would talking to Greek Life be stir up more trouble than it's worth?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by RusheeNumero3

Do you think I could talk to the Greek Life office about letting me do informal recruitment in the spring? Even though I signed my pref card? It said that if you turn down a bid (like I did) that you're ineligible for a year. My Rho Chi really led me to believe that I had to put all three of the sororities I went to on my preference card. Even though after she went over the rules I told her I wouldn't be comfortable with my 3rd choice.

I don't know how I'm going to feel about joining a sorority a semester from now, but I feel like I was misinformed. I doubt the Greek life office will care that I misunderstood. But I wanted to get y'alls opinion on trying to go that route. I really don't want to get my Rho Chi or anyone in trouble though. Would talking to Greek Life be stir up more trouble than it's worth?

You cannot talk them into it.

If you receive a bid and decline it, you cannot participate in formal or informal for an entire year.

Yes, it sucks that the rules were not explained to you properly (and Rho Chi's should know better), but that does not change the rule. This is a national NPC policy

If you wish t talk to the GL office and tell them that you were misled, that is up to you. They can make sure that next year's Rho Chi's understand the rules better, but it doesn't change the rule.

[aopirose]

Originally Posted by RusheeNumero3

Do you think I could talk to the Greek Life office about letting me do informal recruitment in the spring?

You can talk to them about it but it will do no good. You signed a card that commits you to group 3 for one year. The earliest that you can go through any type of recruitment is fall 2009. Sorry you feel that you feel that you were misled but it's done.

[RusheeNumero3]

Originally Posted by aopirose

Sorry you feel that you feel that you were misled but it's done.

That's what I figured. Darn.

[33girl]

Also, by spring you may have changed your tune and find the group that you rejected to be more appealing and something you would like to pursue. It does happen.

(And this is just a wild guess, but I'm betting that the groups that you didn't get won't be doing informal in the spring anyway, and the group that you turned down will - so the result is exactly the same.)

[violetpretty]

I hate dumb Recruitment Counselors!!! Well, I don't know if she was dumb or intentionally deceitful. Either way, it's BS that she told you the "computer would freak out" if you only put 2 choices. Not true in the least. You deserved honesty.

Definitely let the Greek Life Office know about your situation. It won't change your situation, but it might make them reconsider their Recruitment Counselor training, whether the RCs simply need to be more knowledgeable or if there is a "you MUST rank all the chapters so we can place every PNM no matter if some are unhappy" attitude. Maybe your story will prevent this from happening in the future.

There is still no way you'd be able to do informal recruitment in the spring. The only thing you might be able to talk Greek Life and/or 3rd choice chapter into is you wanting to reaccept your bid to 3rd choice chapter if possible. That is, if there is still space available. One year my chapter had a girl drop out the day after bid day (we made quota so there was only one spot), and we filled her spot with a PNM who had dropped out after pref.

ETA: Your other questions do venture into the realm of membership selection, and you'll never know how any chapter does it other than the one you're in. It's doubtful that certain members votes count more, but certain people are better at explaining how they feel about a PNM and convincing others to vote with them, so it may be this reason that one may think that certain members' votes carry more weight.

I can tell you that 3rd choice chapter liking you didn't ruin your chances at your 1st or 2nd choices. You were simply not high enough on either of their lists. If you had not ranked 3rd choice chapter, you would have ended up bidless.

[ComradesTrue]

Since everyone has done a nice job of answering RN3s questions, may I make a slight hijack?

Originally Posted by RusheeNumero3

Also. It's too late. I already rejected my bid. I got my bid at 10 and we had to decide by noon. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go to bid day crying so I just went home.

Is this standard practice on many campuses? It has been over 15 years since I rushed, but if I recall correctly we had 24 hours to decide whether to accept a bid. That allowed the emotions to calm down a bit, disappointed girls time to compose themselves, and even some the chance to "sleep on things." PNMs could also call and talk to family, etc.

Bid Day was at 4:30 and so the PNMs had that evening and then most of the next day to make up their minds. Was it common for someone to take 24 hours? No, but there were definitely times when it took more than 2 hours, and every year there were a few that accepted thier bids the next morning.

Anyway, it just seems that with a mere 2 hour window that exactly what happened with this PNM would happen. Emotions are running high, fear that people would see that she had been crying, etc I think would sway many of them to just go back to the dorm.