Is mutual selection really mutual?

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

I would say the Rho Chi's wording was wrong, but the sentiment was what she was supposed to propose to a pnm. I was a Rho Gamma (different name, same thing) at my campus for two formals in a row and we always stressed to the pnms that the best thing they can do for themselves is to expand their options.

I definitely would have left the decision more up to the pnm and would not have downplayed the possibility of getting choice three to her but my response would have been more like: "OK, you have a right to feel like you don't want to be in any chapter. However, all the chapters on our campus are quality women, and you maximize your potential as a sorority member by selecting three choices on your form. Think long and hard while you're making your selections so that you can be sure to be a happy camper at the end of bid day."

Just because, having been on the side where you have to tell a pnm that she didn't get a bid - it sucks. Especially when you get to know some of the awesome young ladies who go through recruitment and you don't even care what chapter they join you just want to be their friend.

As a former recruitment counselor and panhellenic exec. member, I would encourage the OP to inform her panhellenic office about the advice given to her by a recruitment counselor that was incorrect. You don't have to name names, but it is important that the recruitment counselors get correct information. The PNMs rely on them for correct information. Though we all like to encourage women to consider all options and never discard any chapter that has invited them, it is ALWAYS a PNM's right to choose NOT to accept membership in a chapter and therefore not list them on her preference card. Unlike some other women, I do not think it's a good idea for women to list chapters that they know they will reject a bid from. It's creates bad morale in a chapter & pledge class, and it takes away spots from other women that wanted it (including maybe quota additions). If women "suicide" and don't get a bid, so be it. They can rush again later or not. We should not be coercing women into signing a binding contract based on incorrect information or lies.