When "the one" doesn't think YOU are "the one"

[PrettyBoy]

This used to happen to me, but that was when I had no boundaries. I was always faithful and honest with these women, but since I had no boundaries, I would just let them into my life without really seeing the real person inside. I would find myself in relationships with women I wasn't compatible with. Now I have boundaries, because to me boundaries serve two major functions. First they define me as a man, and they show what I am and what I am not, what I agree with and what I disagree with, what I like and what I dislike. The 2nd function of boundaries is that they protect me, because they keep good things in and bad things out. In a relationship, when we don't have clear limits, we can expose ourselves to unhealthy and destructive influences and people.

When we have well developed boundaries, spiritually we're more drawn to healthy growing people who want long term relationships, and are willing to work to stay together. We're clear about what we'll tolerate and what we like. I do think it's wrong to be with someone for a long time and then just call it quits for no reason except for "You're not the one." To me, jokers like this more than likely want to have their cake and eat it too, or they're just plain tired of the person they're with. I think when our boundaries are unclear we run the risk of allowing jokers inside our lives who shouldn't be there in the first place.