When "the one" doesn't think YOU are "the one"

[OhSoVeryLadylike]

Someone above asked how can you be together and the other person think you aren't "the one"? Simple they are enjoying the relationship. It's a good one. I've learned that while it may appear to be a waste of time, but relationships can be good and not automatically be meant for marriage...

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by OhSoVeryLadylike

Someone above asked how can you be together and the other person think you aren't "the one"? Simple they are enjoying the relationship. It's a good one. I've learned that while it may appear to be a waste of time, but relationships can be good and not automatically be meant for marriage...

Automatically or ever.

That's why communication is important. If people are just having fun together, just have fun together with a clear understanding that it may not lead to something longterm or marriage. It is when people are doing one thing but saying another that there becomes a problem. And many people do one thing and say another or they are hoping the person/situation will change to become what they want.

Personally, I don't do longterm, committed relationships just for "fun." Sure, we have fun together but if he's not "the one" then I have better things to do with my time and emotion. I find happiness, fun, and enjoyment in "the one" with the understanding that future-oriented relationships aren't all fun and games.

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Personally, I don't do longterm, committed relationships just for "fun." Sure, we have fun together but if he's not "the one" then I have better things to do with my time and emotion. I find happiness, fun, and enjoyment in "the one" with the understanding that future-oriented relationships aren't all fun and games.

This sums up my thoughts exactly and it also reflects what I was going to say to the OP. After 5 years of being with someone, you "know" whether or not you can see yourself with this person permanently (marriage). And if he isn't sure, but you are (and ready to take it too the next level) then you are really left with two choices:
1. continue to wait around until he thinks you are "the one"
2. end the relationship and move on with your life.

Having been in that situation, I chose to move on because like someone else mentioned earlier, I think after a year, you internally "know" whether or not the person you are with is someone that you could see yourself committed to. I hate the thought of waiting on someone to "change" because 10 times out of the ten they don't.

I think my story does have a happy ending because I moved on with my life and did other things that I enjoyed. It was in one of those activities that I met someone totally wonderful. Had I not, who knows.....I may still be still around waiting on Mr. SoandSo to make up his mind.