When "the one" doesn't think YOU are "the one"

[KSig RC]

OK I haven't read any of this thread (which, upon preview, appears to be kind of a good thing) - but it's pretty simple:

If you think they're "the one" and they don't agree, you move on until the next time you become over-infatuated with someone, because you're fucked. Eventually, you'll learn, or find someone on your level, or mature, or improve, or you'll get 30 cats. It's all good.

Besides this, the concept of "the one" is so inanely "girly" I can't deal with it - it's a garbage label that only matters post-hoc, and in most cases is only applied to people who no longer want to have sex with you (and therefore can't possibly fit the term).

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by KSig RC

OK I haven't read any of this thread (which, upon preview, appears to be kind of a good thing) - but it's pretty simple:

If you think they're "the one" and they don't agree, you move on until the next time you become over-infatuated with someone, because you're fucked. Eventually, you'll learn, or find someone on your level, or mature, or improve, or you'll get 30 cats. It's all good.

Besides this, the concept of "the one" is so inanely "girly" I can't deal with it - it's a garbage label that only matters post-hoc, and in most cases is only applied to people who no longer want to have sex with you (and therefore can't possibly fit the term).

I think the problem is a lot people aren't upfront with each other at the start of a relationship, which creates deception. I think hurt and loss comes with relationships. Losing an s/o that he/she desires is almost inevitable in relationships at some time or another, at the same time this causes people to lose trust in the opposite sex, but this doesn't have to happen if people are honest and upfront with one another. There's nothing wrong with dating someone and enjoying their company, and finding out where a relationship is going to go. But as soon as someone is sure that the relationship is not going where the other person thinks or hopes that it is, I think that person has a responsibility to tell the other one clearly and honestly rather than doing it 5 years later. Why lead someone on, or allow them to deceive themselves by anything the other person is doing?

[Coramoor]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I think the problem is a lot people aren't upfront with each other at the start of a relationship, which creates deception. I think hurt and loss comes with relationships. Losing an s/o that he/she desires is almost inevitable in relationships at some time or another, at the same time this causes people to lose trust in the opposite sex, but this doesn't have to happen if people are honest and upfront with one another. There's nothing wrong with dating someone and enjoying their company, and finding out where a relationship is going to go. But as soon as someone is sure that the relationship is not going where the other person thinks or hopes that it is, I think that person has a responsibility to tell the other one clearly and honestly rather than doing it 5 years later. Why lead someone on, or allow them to deceive themselves by anything the other person is doing?

That's a pretty good post.

The only thing I'll add is that a lot of people practice self-deception after a relationship is over. They ignore or 'forget' everything that went into the final decision. An honest self evaluation is...difficult.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by KSig RC

If you think they're "the one" and they don't agree, you move on until the next time you become over-infatuated with someone, because you're fucked.

lol lol lol