Open Letter 8 - Page 32

Spinderella · #1 12-08-2008, 10:25 PM

Dear most lovely co-worker,

Your jealousy knows no bounds does it? I mean come on, you are making yourself look really bad by all the degrading things you say about me and others behind our backs all in an effort to deflect attention from your ineptness.

We don't care not one iota about what you do, when you do it, or how you do it...as long as it doesn't affect us, our paychecks or our relationships with our boss.

But I am putting you on notice...our boss is now seeing you for what you are and who you are, so I am convinced that your little 'district mole' role will not gain you any favor come 2009. Granted you are gorgeous to look at. Your smile is sirenlike, and your voice drips honey sugar but your words, your words are bitter, venom that is poison to any ear that hears them. You are nothing but a spreader of gossip, innuendo and outright lies.

I have never heard/seen such garbage wrapped in so beautiful a package...its actually frightening. Even moreso frightening, is the fact that you have gone out of your way to target us, your 'sistas'.

Accept it hater...the hater-nation you have tried to create is about to crumble at your feet. Our boss is about to squirt lemon in your bowl to breakdown some of that killer hyperglycemic syrup you've been serving.

No weapon formed, shall prosper...meaning that mouth of yours.

Merry X-mas, and I do mean 'X'. Dear lovely, gorgeous co-worker, there is nothing Christ-like about you.

jojapeach · #2 12-09-2008, 02:15 PM

Dear God:

I keep trying to remember that I'm very fortunate and very blessed to be employed. I drive by that closed GM plant in Doraville everyday, so I know I'm blessed. But can you help the other colleagues that could make my job better? Can you help them realize that shouldn't have apathy towards us other colleagues who are just trying to do our jobs just like they are? Stop making my job so effin' hard!!!

Now I see why there are corporate types who leave their jobs to be happy baristas at Starbucks. And there's three of those near me hiring.

Dear SisterGreek Colleague:

I wanna smack you. You should know better about "Excuses" in all areas of life, so stop slinging that "I'm a MIP Greek" bullisht at me. Besides, you have the potential to get my boss pi$$ed at me b/c you're slacking. You must know that's not about to happen. If there's a choice between you and me going under the bus, best believe it won't be me with tire tracks on my back.

Little32 · #3 12-09-2008, 05:23 PM

Hey Fella,

I feel like I am getting the full court press. I might be flattered, except that I have seen how you roll and I am not sure that I like it.
Also, I can't help but wonder if this sudden interest is because you know about it, and you two don't like each other. I wouldn't put it past you to have ulterior motives.

Signed,

Not the NKOTB

KAPPAtivating · #4 12-09-2008, 08:00 PM

Dear Pops' "Girlfriend",

Yeah, I heard from your own nephew (who can't stand you either) that you had something to say about me and his Kappa League brothers sending an arrangement to the funeral home of your brother-in-law (his grandfather). Look, you better be real glad I am 1. Saved, 2. Educated, and 3. in another state, because otherwise I would've talked so bad to you!

So quit being a hater and get over it. It is not because of me and my siblings that my pops hasn't married you! Hell, we are all grown and gone! My BABY sister is 20, so none of us have anything to do with that. Face it, "if he liked it, then he woulda put a ring on it!"

Now, as the oldest of my siblings, I have kept my two sisters from beaten that @ss on several occasions, so don't think I won't let'em succeed next time! Test my gangsta if you like....

NinjaPoodle · #5 12-14-2008, 04:05 PM

Dear friend,

Umm, thanks but no thanks. One of my basic minimum requirements is a college degree, from an accredited 4 year school. And honestly, if you really knew me, aside from the fact you would know a low maintenance man is not even a blip on my man-map, you would know how much of a man-snob I really am (hence my singleness). I could have been insulted but since I know where your heart was with this, I laughed it off and moved on. And the next time you try to set someone up, may I suggest that they are in the same state.

Kthnksbye

jojapeach · #6 12-14-2008, 08:44 PM

^^^ CTHU

Dear Water Aerobics Drill Sergeant:

I *HEART* you and our Tuesday workouts. Coming to you on Tuesday gives me endorphins for another day of work on Wednesday and pushes me to work out again on Wednesday, even without water aerobics. However, I wish you could pow-wow with the Thursday instructor so she can get closer to your level.

Dear Division President:

How in da hayle did you fire the last great IT developer in our company but kept that mediocre chick that shows more and more everyday that either she's super lazy or just doesn't know what she's doing? The last great developer must have cussed you out reallll good.You know you deserve every swear and profane thought that's slung at you.

I'll be so glad when I get my CDL so I can get the hayle on. Lord knows April can't get here fast enough.

KAPPAtivating · #7 12-14-2008, 08:53 PM

Dear chick at church...

So you are (for lack of a better phrase) FINE AS HAYLE. I have noticed you for about two months and I always try to position myself at least in eye shot of you. So today, when I finally got the opportunity to sit on the same pew you do, you bring your sister with you and she sits right between us

! However, asking if you wanted a piece of gum was a kind gesture that will make you remember who I am from now on.

Until next Sunday when I ask you your name...have a wonderful and blessed week.

PS...I feel bad hitting on women at church, but you are fine though...lol!

christiangirl · #8 12-15-2008, 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KAPPAtivating

PS...I feel bad hitting on women at church, but you are fine though...lol!

Dear Kappa,

Don't feel bad. 80% of the single women at church are looking for more than Jesus.

KAPPAtivating · #9 12-15-2008, 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Dear Kappa,

Don't feel bad. 80% of the single women at church are looking for more than Jesus.

Maybe I should send a note for the choir to sing "Single Ladies" so I can just know which ones are single. It kinda has a "call response" theme to it, so it could work.

christiangirl · #10 12-16-2008, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KAPPAtivating

Maybe I should send a note for the choir to sing "Single Ladies" so I can just know which ones are single. It kinda has a "call response" theme to it, so it could work.

They're already practicing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP9WNsjRVLY

NinjaPoodle · #11 12-15-2008, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Dear Kappa,

Don't feel bad. 80% of the single women at church are looking for more than Jesus.

lol..

txdiva · #12 12-19-2008, 08:14 PM

Dear R.B.B.,

I'm flattered that you want to reconnect with me through Facebook. Let me be honest with you: I don't think I'm ready to reconnect with you. I think I might've outgrown you. I'm at another phase in my life and I don't know if you're on my level. My family and friends told me that you were looking for me. I'm not interested!!! When I said it was over, I meant it. Thank you for keeping me on your mind, but no thanks.

jojapeach · #13 12-21-2008, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by txdiva

Dear R.B.B.,

I'm flattered that you want to reconnect with me through Facebook. Let me be honest with you: I don't think I'm ready to reconnect with you. I think I might've outgrown you. I'm at another phase in my life and I don't know if you're on my level. My family and friends told me that you were looking for me. I'm not interested!!! When I said it was over, I meant it. Thank you for keeping me on your mind, but no thanks.

Dear txdiva:

I'm sad for you and I that we both had the same FB experience recently.

Dear FB Stalker:

We were never so serious that you shouldn't be able to move past me. I did not treat you well, but I did tell you that we weren't meant to be a couple. Now, you know that I'm happily married. Why do you need to still be connected to someone like me who does not want to be associated with you at all? I honestly hope you can move forward and find someone who can appreciate your suffocating type of (sick twisted) love and adoration. But I can't be the one. Actually, you probably need to love yourself first, then God will bring the love of your life to you. But it can't be me regardless of the circumstances, even 80 years from now. So, go with God, homie. Go with God.

StarFish106 · #14 02-04-2009, 11:32 AM

Dear Facilities:

Can you please please turn DOWN the heat in here? Seriously I am about to pass out at my desk and I don't trust my coworker not to rat me out.

But fo real...it's is hot as Hades in here today. What happened to all the conservation talk if you got the heat set past "it's hot in hurrr!" The devil has on shorts and flip flops and offered to get me a soda. He even offered to get me Diet Cherry Pepsi and I almost took it. So um Ima need you to get the pliers out and uncrank that heater (but leave us a little please).
My sanity and soul are on the line here. Thanks fellas

Sleepy co-worker

naturalrose · #15 12-21-2008, 08:16 PM

Dear Snow,
You are not a solid or a liquid, what are you? I can deal with you when you are pretty and fluffy but tell your cuz Ice to stop coming around freezing my car door shut! i dont have time to scrape yall off my windsheild everymorning making me late for work..My heart stops everytime my poor car fishtails on backstreets..And why do you last so long?

a month is all you need to get your point across...sigh