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In reference to my example.. many of our issues were related to the fact that he had never been on his own in any way prior to our marriage. He had a huge lack of experience at life. I think he believed that he would handle things a certain way but, having never been in that situation before, he reacted differently. When someone else is cleaning your room/house for that guy, there's no way to know what a slob he will truly be. And, I'm not totally blaming him either. He simply lacked experience.
MysticCat.. I was married in the Catholic church both times (annulled the first marriage) and went through their whole pre-marital counseling thing both times. With the first one, the questionairres identified that there was a potential for abuse from my (then) fiance. He and the priest decided that it came up because I was too sensitive and took things too seriously and, since the priest said that (and I was young without much self esteem), I believed him. He was the pre-marital expert after all! That guy ended up being very abusive.
Not being defensive here, just pointing out that there is no failproof method when it comes to all of this. I think you have to do what is right for you at that point in your life.
I also think I have a different perspective now that I'm in my 40's and am done having children. I really don't see, no matter how much I might end up loving someone in the future, any reason to get married. But hey, I'm also the first to admit that I'm jaded!
ETA: I was screwed over so badly financially twice now that I will never ever ever combine my finances with someone else again!
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