living together before marriage: opinions?

[AOII Angel]

I think this whole deal about "statistics" proving people who live together before getting married makes them more likely to divorce is right up there with people believing that more people have pre-marital sex now than they did 50 years ago. A recent, very well conducted survey of people aged 12-90-ish proved that more than 80% of people had pre-marital sex. We want to think that being virgins until marriage is the way things are supposed to be, but it's a fantasy. Now no one jump down my throat, I know there are people who do this, but they are a minority.
My husband and I practically moved in with each other the second we started dating. We'd known each other for about six months by that point. We did everything that people say not to do. He was on my checking account by six months into the relationship. We shared everything, so it was easier. Our only real problem with the arrangement came when I made the mistake of telling my parents about six months prior to our wedding. I had phone calls three times a day from my parents all worried about my "relationship with God!" Anyway, for us, living together before marriage was fine. We'd made the commitment to each other long ago. My husband made the choice to do his residency where we went to med school since I was already in a residency there. He could have gone to any top Med/Peds program in the country. Our wedding was simple but memorable. No, marriage was not some big thing that changed our lives. Our relationship did that, and I'm glad the marriage certificate is just a document to officialize the bond that we sealed two years earlier. The key to keep it going after that is to keep talking, forgiving and learning (and not having kids! That tends to put a huge strain on most marriages, IMHO. Of course, procreation is necessary for the human race so if you do it, work extra hard at the talking, forgiving and learning stuff!)

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I think this whole deal about "statistics" proving people who live together before getting married makes them more likely to divorce is right up there with people believing that more people have pre-marital sex now than they did 50 years ago. A recent, very well conducted survey of people aged 12-90-ish proved that more than 80% of people had pre-marital sex. We want to think that being virgins until marriage is the way things are supposed to be, but it's a fantasy. Now no one jump down my throat, I know there are people who do this, but they are a minority.

Are you saying that the stats are assigning causal value to cohabitation while a third variable may have more explanatory power?

You and your husband are more of the exception than the rule. But wait...was this intro a petition for you and your husband being considered more of the rule than everyone thinks? Surely you don't really believe that.