What to tell a girl who didn't get a bid

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by TSteven

They are an NPC chapter. The other sorority chapters are local (two) and an NPHC chapter.

Sorry, I just saw the signature. Wow. Just wow.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

Sorry, I just saw the signature. Wow. Just wow.

For what it is worth, there isn't a campus panhellenic council, but a single "IFC" that includes NIC, NPC, NPHC and locals. As such, I have a feeling that recruitment on that campus may not follow "traditional" NPC guidelines.

FYI, the two locals were founded 13 & 14 years prior to their chartering.

[Eleutheria]

We have three NPC sororities at my school, and recruitment isn't exactly run as well as it should be. I was given a bid to a sorority, but because of the whole matching process, my bid card was lost in the shuffle, and I got bumped. In retrospect, it turned out to be much better for me to be non-greek. I joined Alpha Phi Omega instead, and have gotten a lot more out of it than had I joined a sorority. Quite honestly, if a group isn't going to give you a bid you DON'T WANT TO BE part of that group.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Eleutheria

I was given a bid to a sorority, but because of the whole matching process, my bid card was lost in the shuffle, and I got bumped. In retrospect, it turned out to be much better for me to be non-greek.

Just curious, but how do you know this for certain? Bid matching at all schools is supposed to be private. Is this something you heard straight from someone involved with recruitment like a recruitment counselor or someone who worked in the Greek Life office? Or is this something you "heard" from a sorority member?

I'm just confused because if you were matched but for some reason they lost your actual card, someone should have contacted you right away and let you know that there'd been a mix-up and that you were invited to join ____ and you were on their list but they just couldn't find your card.

[PhoenixAzul]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Just curious, but how do you know this for certain? Bid matching at all schools is supposed to be private. Is this something you heard straight from someone involved with recruitment like a recruitment counselor or someone who worked in the Greek Life office? Or is this something you "heard" from a sorority member?

I'm just confused because if you were matched but for some reason they lost your actual card, someone should have contacted you right away and let you know that there'd been a mix-up and that you were invited to join ____ and you were on their list but they just couldn't find your card.

Not saying that this happened but here's an instance.

During bid-matching, PX's were called with their girls who did not receive a bid. Let's say Jane Doe was on that list. She received a call from her PX so she didn't come to closing ceremony/meeting. However, Jamie Smith was NOT on the list, so she is not called. Rho Chi's assume that she got a bid, as she's done well in recruitment, is generally a nice girl, etc. Monday rolls around and there's no bid for Jamie. So we call up Greek life and ask , "Greek life, we're pretty sure that Jamie got a bid, but we didn't receive a card for her. What's the deal?". Greek life confirms that yes, they have Jamie for matching to XYZ group. So there is no card, so PX must now ask Jamie if she'd like to accept/reject bid.

I only offer this as an example because it happened to me in my PX group this year! It was horrifically embarrassing and really upsetting to me because I was terrified that the girl had actually NOT matched and had shown up only to be crushed. Turns out she got the group she wanted and was quite happy, but still, it was nerve wracking.

[James]

Some of it depends on how much you think you had to do with her not getting a bid.

If you brought a lot of the chapter to the point of view that this girl shouldn't be allowed to join, and you did it for primarily personal reasons/feelings, I can see why you would want to excercise some damage control. Because I can only imagine someone wanting to go postal if it were a personal problem.

In that case I would pre-empt the whole situation and have someone with good social skills go talk to her and tell/lie saying it wasn't anything personal. Explain that there is just a limited number of slots open and sometimes things work out in sucky ways. But you think she is cool, pretty, worthy, whatever.

There is no good way to reject someone, but you can offer them face saving comments if they want/need to hold onto them.

If you are just looking for some general blanket statement to out into a booklet or whatever:

"Membership Selection is a competitive process with limited spaces available, and that can result in highly desirable candidates remaining bidless, sometimes despite the wishes of the candidate or the sorority.

And due to the private nature of Membership Selection, sorority members are not in any way permitted to discuss the process."

[MTSUGURL]

Keep in mind that we are a small group on our campus, and we are not an NPC org.
During interviews, one of the girls told us that she had gotten mad when her place of work had gone out of business and had stolen several hundreds of dollars worth of stuff from them. We of course did not give her a bid, and when she cried and asked us why, we told her, "Some of your answers to the interview questions raised concerns in the sisters. We often have events in our private homes, and the lack of respect you showed for your employer's possessions makes us reluctant to invite you into our homes."
That was an extreme case. Anyone else we didn't invite back, we told them, "I'm sorry, but we don't discuss membership selection."

[LPIDelta]

I am pretty sure that jessicaelaine's school doesn't have rho chi's, probably no Greek Life office, probably no NPC rules or any of the other things found at big schools...so the suggestions, while helpful somewhere else, really don't apply here. Not all schools with NPC groups operate reruitment like SEC or big campus schools.

Jessica, I commend you for wanting to let people down easy, but the suggestions re: not saying anything are right on target. We do not discuss membership selection or anything related to it. With what you said in the original post, you are giving false hope where there may not be any. Simply apologize and say that you are not at liberty to discuss details.