What to tell a girl who didn't get a bid

[texas*princess]

I don't want to sound like the Spelling/Grammar President of the World, but there are a TON of incorrect spellings on the website.

The way the booklet is worded can be misleading.

First of all on the "HOW TO JOIN" page, the first sentence in Step 2 makes it sound like bids are automatic. At least if I were a person who didn't go to a big greek school and knew nothing of greek life I think "This is the official invitation you will receive to join the sorority" makes it sound like every woman who makes it past the foyer of the house will receive one.

If you absolutely must have a booklet on "HOW TO JOIN" Step 3 should say "your" new member pin

Step 3 compares a pinning ceremony to a pledging period. Maybe I'm reading that wrong. Additionally, it says "You are a complete sister with the same respect and all rights of an active member without the ability to vote in meetings" Unless DPhiE does things different (which is a possibility) most NPCs new members are not technically "full sisters" because they have not yet gone through initiation. Being part of ritual is a right of an active member in good standing and women in the new member period are not usually able to see that until they are initiated.

Step 5: says they go through initation and become "a full sister!" but Step 3 says they are "full sisters"

If you continue to distribute a booklet, I think it should be revised so that it is not misleading.

Additionally, like others have said, there should not be a reason to add in a "why you didn't get in" section because really, that's none of their business. If they ask you directly, just go with what others have said and tell them that membershp selection is private.

[LPIDelta]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

Maybe I'm reading that wrong. Additionally, it says "You are a complete sister with the same respect and all rights of an active member without the ability to vote in meetings" Unless DPhiE does things different (which is a possibility) most NPCs new members are not technically "full sisters" because they have not yet gone through initiation. Being part of ritual is a right of an active member in good standing and women in the new member period are not usually able to see that until they are initiated.

DPhiEs philosophy has been that new members are members--and so we allow new members to participate in teams and meetings and begin contributing to the sorority right away--with the exception of voting, attending ritual etc. We try to remove the hierarchy of membership by philosophically putting new members on the same playing field as active sisters. I agree with you--how its written is a little confusing.

[CutiePie2000]

They should say "How to be INVITED to join", not "How to Join". Nothing is for certain, people!!

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by Heather17

DPhiEs philosophy has been that new members are members--and so we allow new members to participate in teams and meetings and begin contributing to the sorority right away--with the exception of voting, attending ritual etc. We try to remove the hierarchy of membership by philosophically putting new members on the same playing field as active sisters. I agree with you--how its written is a little confusing.

I totally agree and I'm sure that is how most all (if not all) NPCs are now run

The wording could be misleading... especially to people who might not know a lot about greek life. Based on previous posts it sounds like that is a lot of people

[Miss{BooperDoo}]

As someone who plans on rushing next Spring, I would most definitely be misled by the pamphlet. I'm going to be transferring from a small northern (why I'm so naive about sororities) school to a big southern school. I don't think there should be any explanation as to WHY you were not extended a bid. Is knowing going to change something? No. Will it honestly make the person feel any better? Not likely. It would probably make them obsess over it so that if they did rush again, that's all they focused on. I know that if I'm not asked to join, it won't be the end of the world. To some it might be. But the most you can do is (as has been said previously) tell them that the selection process is private. If someone is going to throw a temper tantrum because they didn't get into the sorority of their choosing... its not your job to be their mother and wipe their nose and give them the "everybody's a winner" speech. If they can't control themselves in a situation such as this...they have much bigger things to worry about.

Hope that was helpful...