What to tell a girl who didn't get a bid

Originally Posted by centaur532

Get over it. we all left it alone but they weren't spelling mistakes, they were entirely different words which gave an entirely different meaning to the paragraph.
So is this a general advice insert, or just for this one girl who's about to kill herself because you didn't give her a bid?

yes. it wasn't a spelling mistake. defiantly is an actual word. and that scentence makes complete sence with that word in there. when i spelled definitely wrong the first time and spell checked i didn't pay close attention to what i was replacing the misspelled word with. and the first person that replied to me mentioned spelling errors.

this idea was inspired by one girl who publically make a very big deal about not getting a bid. there are many girls in my sorority that have classes with here or will in the future, see her almost daily on our quarter mile campus with 5 buildings, or would like to buy coffee from her at our one coffee bar with out awkward ness. but i also want it to be general enough so that other girls who only came to one event and was nice and well liked but simply did not get to know everyone to encourage to come out again. perhaps it's better to go by a person to person basis. this idea was mainly to give to the girls in my sorority incase they are approched by her they would either know what to say or have information for her to read about it if they didn't feel comfortable talking about it.

was the reason people became so offensive about the rest of my post was because i gave too much information? everyone seemed to focus on something that wasn't the actual question. i should have just simply said "what do i tell someone who doesn't get a bid"

[UGAalum94]

Well, even "what do I tell someone who didn't get a bid?" had some potentially different answers depending on whom you are talking about.

Generally, if it's someone who rushed your group whose membership decision you participated in, you'd just say, "I really can't talk about membership selection. I'm sorry it didn't work out."

But in other cases, like GreekChat, since there's absolutely no chance that I would know secret membership selection information about why a chapter of a different GLO cut someone, for example, you might feel a little more free to speculate and say more based on what the PNM has said.

In general you just try to be sympathetic and encouraging if it seems appropriate.

[PhoenixAzul]

Holy relevant thread, batman.

I'm a Rho Chi this year, and today was preference signing. Since it's 5 pm and I haven't gotten a call from Panhel, I'm assuming all of my girls are matched and sorted in some way (thank you, God!). But what we told the girls before they went to signing was,

"look girls, we want you all to be sisters to someone. But unfortunately, it doesn't always work out, for various reasons (quota, bid lists, human error, zodiac sign, whatever). We encourage you to try again next year, and to get involved on campus and to remain friends with girls you've met through this process. If you need to yell at someone or vent or need a cup of coffee, give us a call and we'll be there. Whole day is clear for you. "

It sucks. I should know. I didn't get invited to final party, and I got "the call" on bid day. But I received a supplemental bid (sort of a snap bid), to the sorority of my dreams. It does work out, it does happen. It does hurt. No one ever said it would be easy.

I think that perhaps girls would be better served by a disclaimer in the pre-rush literature about the realities of not getting a bid, alternative options, why girls cannot discuss membership selection, etc.

Originally Posted by jessicaelaine

this idea was inspired by one girl who publically make a very big deal about not getting a bid.

If you know she's going to make a big deal about it, be thankful you guys didn't offer her a bid, and when she demands to know why she didn't get a bid, an "I'm sorry you didn't get a bid, but membership selection is private, and we wish you luck in the future" is sufficient. She doesn't need to be comforted, especially if you already know she's going to give you a hard time.

perhaps it's better to go by a person to person basis.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

was the reason people became so offensive about the rest of my post was because i gave too much information? everyone seemed to focus on something that wasn't the actual question. i should have just simply said "what do i tell someone who doesn't get a bid"

I can't speak for the others, but I get the impression that not too many people knew about Greek culture at your school, so they weren't as informed about your campus like PM_Mama is. We didn't know that you didn't know what a Rho Chi was. We didn't know until you got snippy at the end that some dude named Al's the one who runs your Greek Life office. If anything, you probably didn't provide ENOUGH info.

I just got the feeling that the answers the majority of us gave just weren't good enough.