What would raise a yellow, or red flag on a 1st date for you?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I look for yellow and red flags right off the bat. I usually will call 1st to hear how she talks. If she's ghetto, that is an automatic red flag. Before I even see her, I've determined that there will only be one date. If she talks rather articulate but uses some slang, that's cool, but it depends on the slang. When I meet up with her, I look at her finger nails. If they're long and fake, that's an immeditate red flag. No 2nd date. If she has on tight revealing clothing. Immediate red flag. If she looks great, then I go into conversation. If she can't talk about current world issues, and has no sense of humor, that's a yellow flag. I'll just be a little cautious. Generally I like to meet at a bookstore, so I can see what she's reading when I walk in. That also determines red and yellow flags. The big thing for me is family. I'll ask about her family before I ask about anything else. If her family background is not similar to mine, there won't be a 2nd date. In fact there won't even be a phone call. That family background is 1st priority for me.

So if you dislike fake nails, would you date a "nail biter" with little mushroom knubs for fingers?

About familial background--what kind of family "future" do you envision for yourself?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

So if you dislike fake nails, would you date a "nail biter" with little mushroom knubs for fingers?

About familial background--what kind of family "future" do you envision for yourself?

As crazy as this may sound, I actually like a nail biter . Women like that are so real to me. If she doesn't bite her nails that's cool, it doesn't really matter as long as they're not fake.

As far as family is concerned I just want the family backgrounds to be similar. No, they don't have to be exactly alike, but if they're similar then I think we would have more in common. All the women I've been in serious relationships with have had opposite family backgrounds from mine, and the relationships never worked.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

As far as family is concerned I just want the family backgrounds to be similar. No, they don't have to be exactly alike, but if they're similar then I think we would have more in common. All the women I've been in serious relationships with have had opposite family backgrounds from mine, and the relationships never worked.

Okey, so GC folks are ready to fight with you. You could decide to explain if you'd like...

Some GC folks will agree with you, the "equally yoked" thing again... It matters what is important to you.

The deal is that you have been going after women outside of your desired familial background conditions... Meaning that you have a recruitment problem...

If you think you desire a woman with similar familial heritage as you, you need to go places where these women are... And church is just only ONE viable option... Women who care about family are usually the one's who put the entire Christmas Pageant together and are young... Or they work for campaign headquarters... Or the all of next year's health walks are coming up, they should be on the planning committees--especially for the Komen Race for the Cure in your city... Some powerhouse sistahs are namely school teachers for all levels... And if they are really involved with their craft they will be in graduate school or finish grad school...

There are only ~50 powerhouse sistahs that live in any average sized city... Only NYC or LA or Chicago or Atlanta or DC would have more... So you odds of actually meeting homegirl who is doing the kinds of things in her life and having a desirable familial background is extremely rare...

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Okey, so GC folks are ready to fight with you. You could decide to explain if you'd like...

Some GC folks will agree with you, the "equally yoked" thing again... It matters what is important to you.

The deal is that you have been going after women outside of your desired familial background conditions... Meaning that you have a recruitment problem...

If you think you desire a woman with similar familial heritage as you, you need to go places where these women are... And church is just only ONE viable option... Women who care about family are usually the one's who put the entire Christmas Pageant together and are young... Or they work for campaign headquarters... Or the all of next year's health walks are coming up, they should be on the planning committees--especially for the Komen Race for the Cure in your city... Some powerhouse sistahs are namely school teachers for all levels... And if they are really involved with their craft they will be in graduate school or finish grad school...

There are only ~50 powerhouse sistahs that live in any average sized city... Only NYC or LA or Chicago or Atlanta or DC would have more... So you odds of actually meeting homegirl who is doing the kinds of things in her life and having a desirable familial background is extremely rare...

I HAD a recruiting problem, but not anymore. Nobody is perfect, but if those women are rare then I'll stay single. I'm not going to settle. Plus I'm open to all women of all races. I used to focus my attention only on black women, but now I focus on who treats me the way I treat them and family background.