What do you feel like saying, right now?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by XAntoftheSkyX

Any of y'all have to deal with a relative at a wedding you don't particularly like?

I'm finalizing the guest list for my ceremony and I got word that a relative of mine has RSVP'd to the wedding whom I am not a fan of. They aren't related by blood, and their immediate family that are blood-related to me are fine, even pleasant. But the person in question always has some snide or snippy comment to make about anything they don't like or approve of. They have already made asinine comments about my tattoos (which are all easily covered and I have to cover them at work or at the gym here) and other life choices I've made.

I got asked in not so many words to invite them and their immediate family because of family I do like and care about. It would have been inconsiderate to not invite them, but the family member wanting to invite them seems inconsiderate to me and other family members that have had a problem with them in the past.

What's done is done, but does anyone have ideas for any damage control? If I hear anything about their behavior I feel like I will crash out and dump all of the opinions I have of them that have been brewing for the last couple of decades.

Yeah, I almost had to deal with this. Here’s the thing, man, weddings will bring out the best and worst in people. You’re creating a sacred moment, and some folks show up acting like it’s open mic night for their unsolicited opinions. In those situations, the challenge is protecting your peace without setting off a grenade at your own celebration.

I’d just say (in kind) you don’t want them there. Or if you’re me, be firm with conviction and just tell them they’re not invited. Period. But if you already invited them and it’s too late to change it, the best advice I can give is to not give them power. You know who they are. You know how they operate. So nothing they say or do should surprise you. That awareness gives you control, so they can’t ruin what you’ve already prepared yourself for.

Also, delegate. Have someone in your corner (best man, sibling, cousin you trust) keep an eye on them. Quietly. That way if they start crossing lines, it doesn’t fall on you to deal with it in the moment. You’re not there to manage personalities, you’re there to get married.

And if they say something slick, just smile, nod, and walk away. Not every jab deserves a reply. You win by not letting them pull you out of character on your big day. Be the version of yourself your spouse fell in love with, not the version some bitter relative tried to drag out.

Like I said, I almost had to deal with this myself with a cousin of mine. But I didn’t invite her. Didn’t even let it leak I was getting married in a way she’d find out. I already knew how she would act, so I cut that drama off at the root. Easiest call I made during wedding planning. Peace over petty, every time.