how do sororities decide?

[APhiAnna]

Hey, I can only tell you this much: it is secret, but a) it is completely fair and b) it makes sense.

Unfortunately, and I do not want to make this sound like an attack on you, every year PNMs get cut from houses they loved and either turn towards the sorority's membership selection process or the Panhellenic recruitment structure to explain their cuts. While there are minor snafu's here and there for both systems, 99.5% of the time they work very well. They've been continually revamped year after year to eliminate situations where it would unfairly hurt a PNM.

Therefore, most of the reasons (save for a vicious rumor or a name mess-up) are under a PNMs control. Here is a list of some of the things sororities generally value, spanning the range from superficial to not-superficial.

1) CONVERSATION. Not talked about nearly enough on this site, in my opinion. Yes you can have ten recs, a model's figure, a 4.5 GPA and a nomination for Australian of the Year (please tell me somebody gets that last reference!) but if you did not shine during conversation rounds sisters will be very reluctant to let you into their sisterhood. To me bad rush conversation means you only answered the questions they asked with Yes/No/One sentence answers, and there were awkward pauses. Average would be something like, you answered the questions fluidly but never got off the "What's your major", "Where do you come from" type questions, and great rush conversation would mean that you found a quick way to get off those questions to find similarities, or at least interesting topics for discussion, with your active.

2) Grades - Sounds like you had deferred recruitment. Were your grades in the toilet?

3) Appearance - Now, on GC people usually say "are you hygienic" or something like that, but I think I'll take it one step further. Do you know how look your best? Some women roll out of bed in a puked on sweatshirt and look like models, some can dress up in a $5,000 ballgown and look terrible...but 90% of women are in between, meaning they have MUCH more control over how they look than they think they do.

I think EVERY woman should take a trip to an upscale beauty salon once a year to talk to professionals to see the best hairstyle and make-up for their face that corresponds with the latest trends. Many women I know decide they want bangs when their face doesn't support it, decide they want XYZ color eyeshadow when it went out of style five years ago, etc. With a good (fake!) tan you can look stunning, with a terrible fake tan you can look like an oompa loompa. Some women, frankly, like Zooey Deschanel, look best pale! The point is get professional advice once a year and don't listen to your fashion hindered mother or friends...it can make a ridiculous difference.

4) Clothes - Same thing. Does what you are wearing, both the cuts and the colors, flatter you? For one, I've learned over the years I look incredible in in various shades of blue, teal, and green...put a red t-shirt on me and I want to cry. Know what looks good on you. Also, quite frankly, know that some women in some chapters may have been looking for a "pricetag" on the outfit...do you know how to go to Old Navy and leave the store looking like you spent $500 at LA's trendiest stores? Or did you look like you went to Old Navy and left the store looking like, well, you went to Old Navy? (Also you can spend a lot of money on Shopbop.com and still pick the wrong stuff and look terrible...it goes both ways).

5) Leadership and Activities - You were on campus for a semester right? Were you involved with anything? Sororities, in general, want "doers" and preferably "leaders". If you weren't very active in anything it may have looked like you were neither. Something to consider.

6) Did they hear about you? If it was deferred, you could have gone out and gotten wasted every night and acquired a bad rep. On the flip side, they may have seen 90% of the PNMs out and about on campus and heard about them by now, and you may have been part of that select few that didn't go to any parties, Greek Week, football game events...if they had already seen 90% of their PNMs out having fun (in a classy way!) they may gravitate towards those women.

7) Recs and legacies. Are they important on campus? You can't really do anything about legacies but really good recommendations can be crucial for many campuses...believe it or not, many of those campuses are outside the SEC.

Those are just some things to think about. The clothes and appearance ones are so long not because they are more important, but because they don't get talked about as much on GC.