how do sororities decide?

[AXOrushadvisor]

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

I went through formal recruitment, and ended up getting invited back to only my last choice for pref. I did feel like I connected well with some of the other chapters but I dont know what happened.

Anyway, my question is, how do sororities generally decide who to invite back? I know the exact formula is secret and varies from house to house but I just want a general example of what type of system is used (I know it may not be the system used in all sororities but even if it is used in a few the example would be helpful). Like, is it democratic style (voting)? If thats the case ... I dont really see how that can work because when we went to visit each house, we were paired up with a sister and would talk to them, and sometimes another sister would come join us .. and it wasn't up to us at all how many sisters joined us .. it was completely random. So at some houses I spoke to 4 or 5, but at others I only spoke to 2. So if voting is used, doesnt that highly depend on how many sisters happened to come join you? And isnt that completely arbitrary?

A lot of times you have to trust the sisters that met the potential new member. Some times the Chapters love a girl, but she doesn't have grades. Some times if you don't have a huge personality they wont remember you. You have to remember there are hundreds of girls that are cute, well spoken, smart, funny and able to hold conversations that go through recruitment. It is sometimes hard to "stand out" especially now with the new recommended cuts that Panhellenic is doing. I always tell people recruitment is hard. It is like interviewing for a job. Your interviewing the Chapters as much as they are interviewing you.

[KSUViolet06]

The process of selecting members is private, and as such, sorority members don't discuss how we make membership decisions.

This includes any discussions of whether the process is democratic, what methods are used, whether it correlates to how many girls you talk to during parties, etc.

It's private info. There is some more general info in the advice threads like this one:

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=54403

[TriDeltaSallie]

I know it seems like it would be completely arbitrary, but it really does work. Maybe not perfectly every single time, but it works very well far more often than it doesn't. As others have said, each sorority has its own way of doing things, but those "ways" have worked for years and have been refined as necessary.

Trusting your sisters is large part of sorority membership in many ways and this especially holds true with recruitment. But believe me - it can be just as emotionally difficult on the other side as it is as a PNM. Most sorority women take membership recruitment and the extending of bids very seriously. There are plenty of tears on the other side as well. This includes women who are crushed when someone they love doesn't come back for whatever reason.

Did you go to your pref party? I'm assuming you didn't accept a bid if you did?

[swtlilsoni]

Thanks for the reply
I understand why it would be difficult on both sides, and I'm sure their technique of deciding (whatever it is) works.
And if its really that private then its okay I'm not expecting any answers ..
Can I at least know if talking to more sisters during the party helps your chances at getting invited back?

No I didn't go to my pref party because I'm pretty sure I dont want to accept a bid for the chapter that called me back =\

[kddani]

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

No I didn't go to my pref party because I'm pretty sure I dont want to accept a bid for the chapter that called me back =\

That chapter gave you a chance. They're the only ones that gave you a chance. Too bad you didn't give them one.

[ZTA72]

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

..
Can I at least know if talking to more sisters during the party helps your chances at getting invited back?

You are asking a question that no one (REALLY) has an answer. There really is no way to know. My best advice is to relax, try COB, if that's what you want, and hope for the best.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

Can I at least know if talking to more sisters during the party helps your chances at getting invited back?

I think it depends on a whole slew of other issues. A PNM could talk to 10 sisters and if none of them believe she is a good fit for the chapter, it isn't going to help her. On the other hand, a PNM could talk to only two and end up a sister.

As someone said above, it is a mutual selection process. There are so many nuances to it (on both sides) that it is hard to tell someone "this is why this happened and if you had only met more people you would have made it". There is no way to know this.

[kddani]

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

Thanks for the reply
I understand why it would be difficult on both sides, and I'm sure their technique of deciding (whatever it is) works.
And if its really that private then its okay I'm not expecting any answers ..
Can I at least know if talking to more sisters during the party helps your chances at getting invited back?

No I didn't go to my pref party because I'm pretty sure I dont want to accept a bid for the chapter that called me back =\

Another QFP





Sorry you had a sore foot. But that's a pretty lame excuse. Your Rho Chis could have helped you make the proper arrangements. I'm sure you didn't stay in your dorm room and not leave it for a week.

A hardship is a sick parent, a mid term, etc. Boy was I surprised to read that it was a sore foot.

[ZTA72]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

I always tell people recruitment is hard. It is like interviewing for a job.

Agree. On both sides, chapter and PNM...speaking as someone who has interviewed 100s of people, no matter how outstanding the individuals may be, they tend to run together at times.