how do sororities decide?

[swtlilsoni]

Wow. beneath me? I never claimed to be better than them. I think everyone would agree that there are some sororities that you connect with, and some you dont. Most people say you just know, as soon as you step into a house, talk to the girls, feel comfortable, feel at home you know its for you. There are others you know arent for you. This was one of them. It seems like your twisting everything up and putting words in my mouth so you can belittle me.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

Wow. beneath me? I never claimed to be better than them. I think everyone would agree that there are some sororities that you connect with, and some you dont. Most people say you just know, as soon as you step into a house, talk to the girls, feel comfortable, feel at home you know its for you. There are others you know arent for you. This was one of them. It seems like your twisting everything up and putting words in my mouth so you can belittle me.

Agreed.

This entire thread is a great example of people thinking they are reading what someone is posting, but instead they are reading things into it.

This PNM never said the group she chose not to pref was beneath her. She said she knew she would not accept a bid. Last I knew that wasn't a crime and in fact we tell people all the time to not accept an invite to pref if they know they won't accept it because they are potentially taking the spot of someone who might really want to be there.

People jumped to conclusions that she somehow felt she was superior. She never said that she would only join a top chapter. People are reading things into her comments.

I also don't think she ever complained about not getting a bid. She made comments that she was trying to sort out what happened with people who might have more insight than she has. Just because dozens of rude PNMs have asked these questions before and annoyed people here doesn't mean that she is another one of them.

And, no, I am not reaching in my comment about perhaps she is a Christian and didn't want to pref a historically Jewish sorority. I'm sure this happens quite often going both ways.

[LadyLonghorn]

Oh please. Whenever a PMN comes here complaining about being cut from all chapters except one or two, it's never because they weren't cut from the "top tier/beautiful model/rocket scientist/fraternity favorite/insert your tent talk hyperbole here." It's always because they "don't click/fit in" with the "struggling/smallest/fatty/ugly/lamest/insert your tent talk smash and bash here." They don't want to be one of those.

It's like a secret code that few here want to admit. And it's the reason why struggling chapters continue into a death spiral in spite of RFM.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by LadyLonghorn

Oh please. Whenever a PMN comes here complaining about being cut from all chapters except one or two, it's never because they weren't cut from the "top tier/beautiful model/rocket scientist/fraternity favorite/insert your tent talk hyperbole here." It's always because they "don't click/fit in" with the "struggling/smallest/fatty/ugly/lamest/insert your tent talk smash and bash here." They don't want to be one of those.

I disagree because this would be making assumptions. While what you are saying may often be true, we can't assume that it is true of every PNM who posts here.

As Greek women we fight stereotypes all the time. We, of all people, should be going out of our way to avoid stereotyping others.

And, no, not everyone who goes through rush wants to be in a top house. There are plenty of women who intuitively know that they would not be a good fit for them for whatever reason.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

As Greek women we fight stereotypes all the time. We, of all people, should be going out of our way to avoid stereotyping others.

Why? We are human, it's human nature to do things like that.

Stop putting "Greek women" on a pedastal, acting like we are these high and might people that need to educate the masses about GLOs.

[UGAalum94]

TriDeltaSallie,

I agree with a lot of what you are saying, but there's a never ending cycle of this stuff. After a while it make you wonder if there could really be that many clueless pnms out there and you start to suspect it's the sassy girls entertaining themselves with sock puppets or random trolls.

If you want to reach out with sympathetic personal messages, more power to you, but no PNM can expect general public support here if she seems to have discounted one or more chapters if thread history is any indication.

And I'll be honest*, it should only take one post of "we can't answer that because it's MS" before a PNM gets the message. This one has been way too persistent about stuff that's not any of her business.

*although I relate to curiosity about the process because even now I find it fascinating and I'm long past the point when it affects me personally

[FrogChick]

I wonder what it would be like if the sororities merely accepted PNM's who wanted to join their sorority (informed PNM's...I mean who attended recruitment) as long as there was space for them. Would it be so hard to imagine?

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

This PNM never said the group she chose not to pref was beneath her. She said she knew she would not accept a bid. Last I knew that wasn't a crime and in fact we tell people all the time to not accept an invite to pref if they know they won't accept it because they are potentially taking the spot of someone who might really want to be there.

No...actually, GCers recommend that PNMs attend ALL prefs that they can but only sign a bid card if they are willing to accept a bid. Accepting an invite to pref will in no way take a spot away from someone who might truly want it. Going to a pref party will only give the PNM and the chapter one last chance to find a connection. Though I agree that the OP did not say she was better than the chapter that invited her to pref, but I also agree that she made a hasty decision to decline the pref invitation. In the end, she only hurt herself.