how do sororities decide?
 

I went through formal recruitment, and ended up getting invited back to only my last choice for pref. I did feel like I connected well with some of the other chapters but I dont know what happened.

Anyway, my question is, how do sororities generally decide who to invite back? I know the exact formula is secret and varies from house to house but I just want a general example of what type of system is used (I know it may not be the system used in all sororities but even if it is used in a few the example would be helpful). Like, is it democratic style (voting)? If thats the case ... I dont really see how that can work because when we went to visit each house, we were paired up with a sister and would talk to them, and sometimes another sister would come join us .. and it wasn't up to us at all how many sisters joined us .. it was completely random. So at some houses I spoke to 4 or 5, but at others I only spoke to 2. So if voting is used, doesnt that highly depend on how many sisters happened to come join you? And isnt that completely arbitrary?

If you haven't read/heard this before, I recommend that you read the many posts in this forum regarding membership selection. All anyone will tell you is: It is private. That being said, it is only natural to wonder how things like this work. When, and if, you become an initated member in a sorority, then you'll know.

We have a giant dart board with all of the various PNMs names.

Then we have the number of darts equal to the number of invites we are allowed back.

Each sister throws a dart until we have our full allotment of invites.





Seriously, we can't tell you how members are picked. There are a ton of threads that may answer some of your questions, so spend some time reading.

We tell all of the PNM's at my school that it's a "mutual selection process"

There's no point in worrying about things over which you have no control. All you can do is focus on the factors that you CAN control: grades, recs, activities, personal appearance and hygene, attitude, conversation, friendliness, etc. Be the best that you can be, and let the rest take care of itself.

A lot of times you have to trust the sisters that met the potential new member. Some times the Chapters love a girl, but she doesn't have grades. Some times if you don't have a huge personality they wont remember you. You have to remember there are hundreds of girls that are cute, well spoken, smart, funny and able to hold conversations that go through recruitment. It is sometimes hard to "stand out" especially now with the new recommended cuts that Panhellenic is doing. I always tell people recruitment is hard. It is like interviewing for a job. Your interviewing the Chapters as much as they are interviewing you.

I know it seems like it would be completely arbitrary, but it really does work. Maybe not perfectly every single time, but it works very well far more often than it doesn't. As others have said, each sorority has its own way of doing things, but those "ways" have worked for years and have been refined as necessary.

Trusting your sisters is large part of sorority membership in many ways and this especially holds true with recruitment. But believe me - it can be just as emotionally difficult on the other side as it is as a PNM. Most sorority women take membership recruitment and the extending of bids very seriously. There are plenty of tears on the other side as well. This includes women who are crushed when someone they love doesn't come back for whatever reason.

Did you go to your pref party? I'm assuming you didn't accept a bid if you did?

Agree. On both sides, chapter and PNM...speaking as someone who has interviewed 100s of people, no matter how outstanding the individuals may be, they tend to run together at times.

Thanks for the reply
I understand why it would be difficult on both sides, and I'm sure their technique of deciding (whatever it is) works.
And if its really that private then its okay I'm not expecting any answers ..
Can I at least know if talking to more sisters during the party helps your chances at getting invited back?

No I didn't go to my pref party because I'm pretty sure I dont want to accept a bid for the chapter that called me back =\

That chapter gave you a chance. They're the only ones that gave you a chance. Too bad you didn't give them one.

You are asking a question that no one (REALLY) has an answer. There really is no way to know. My best advice is to relax, try COB, if that's what you want, and hope for the best.

Kddani,

It wasnt as simple as going back for me. I had other issues and it would have been an extreme inconvenience for me to go back. If one of the chapters I was really interested in invited me, it would have been worth it and I would have figured out a way to make it there and dealt with the other issues. However since it was a chapter I had very little interest in, it was not worth the trouble..

Extreme inconvenience? Explain.

Unfortunately, it was the only sorority that had an interest in you. They thought you were worth the trouble.