Lavalier?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by TSteven

I am not a Sigma Nu, but I would guess that you are not suppose to know any of their secrets even after y'all are married.

Paging Kevin.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

LOL at the implication that the day I say "I do" I need to spill my sorority ritual to my new hubby.

Yep, I can assure you that after 20+ years, my wife and I still haven't shared any ritual secrets. Wouldn't occur to either of us.

ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ, congrats on being lavaliered!

[ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ]

Originally Posted by TSteven

I am not a Sigma Nu, but I would guess that you are not suppose to know any of their secrets even after y'all are married.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

LOL at the implication that the day I say "I do" I need to spill my sorority ritual to my new hubby.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

I will not be doing that. My mother is a Kappa Delta and even in discussions about ritual we never reveal secrets to each other. And she's my mom.

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Yep, I can assure you that after 20+ years, my wife and I still haven't shared any ritual secrets. Wouldn't occur to either of us.

Okay, so there are two things wrong with these replies: 1. You aren't a Sigma Nu, so you wouldn't know if they are able to disclose information to their wives or not. And I didn't mean to imply that he could disclose all aspects of their ritual to me anyway. And 2. I never said anything about telling him about my sorority's ritual. No one excepted initiated sisters are allowed to know about Theta Phi's ritual -- no family members or husbands. I was not implying that all or any married Greek couples can or should reveal their secrets to their spouses.

And I don't appreciate your negative comments when all I've been trying to do is gain information and advice. I would appreciate it if you thought about what you were saying and assuming before you posted a reply.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ

Okay, so there are two things wrong with these replies: 1. You aren't a Sigma Nu, so you wouldn't know if they are able to disclose information to their wives or not. And I didn't mean to imply that he could disclose all aspects of their ritual to me anyway. And 2. I never said anything about telling him about my sorority's ritual. No one excepted initiated sisters are allowed to know about Theta Phi's ritual -- no family members or husbands. I was not implying that all or any married Greek couples can or should reveal their secrets to their spouses.

There seems to be a contradiction here. If you were not implying the bolded then don't you essentially agree with them?

Originally Posted by ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ

And I don't appreciate your negative comments when all I've been trying to do is gain information and advice. I would appreciate it if you thought about what you were saying and assuming before you posted a reply.

The tone of your post was negative. Theirs was not. You ignored MysticCat's congratulations.

[agzg]

Internets=srs bsns.

[RaggedyAnn]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I can assure you that after 20+ years, my wife and I still haven't shared any ritual secrets. Wouldn't occur to either of us.

Those are probably the only real secrets Andy and I have left between each other, LOL. I have never even seen the inside of his gig book and he hasn't seen the inside of my pledge book.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ

Okay, so there are two things wrong with these replies: 1. You aren't a Sigma Nu, so you wouldn't know if they are able to disclose information to their wives or not.

No I'm not a Sigma Nu. None of us are, and none of us claimed to be, nor did we claim to speak for Sigma Nu. That's why rather than commenting on what Sigma Nu allows and doesn't allow, I "paged" (somewhat facetiously, of course -- he may not be looking at this thread) a regular Sigma Nu poster.

That said, discussions about husbands and wives sharing ritual secrets has been had here before. Based on those discussions, I think I've got a very good idea what any of the Sigma Nus around here would say. It's the same thing that I'm willing to bet the members of any other GLO (other than Delta Upsilon) would say.

And I didn't mean to imply that he could disclose all aspects of their ritual to me anyway.

People were just going by what you actually said:

Originally Posted by ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ

I am not "connected" to Sigma Nu or allowed to know any of their secrets until I am married to him.

Sorry if you didn't really mean what you said or if you didn't understand how it would be read by others, but a comment like this one is going to get responses like the ones you got.

I would appreciate it if you thought about what you were saying and assuming before you posted a reply.

My only response to what you said was to congratulate you. My other responses were to what others said. You might try taking your own advice.

[JennRN]

Well, I'm not a Sigma Nu either, but my husband is and I'd like to just offer my 2 cents about knowing his ritual info after getting married-I don't know anything about it. And i don't want to. Nor does he know anything about DG ritual! I would never tell him that!

I'm not trying to jump on your back or anything but I did read the comment about knowing Sigma Nu ritual after you got married and it bothered me a little. Anyways, back to my lane now.....

[agzg]

This may be mean of me, but I'm going to say it anyway.

Seems like someone is counting their chickens before they hatch.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by agzg

This may be mean of me, but I'm going to say it anyway.

Seems like someone is counting their chickens before they hatch.

I agree. It certainly won't be the first time that has happened on GC.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

It's the same thing that I'm willing to bet the members of any other GLO (other than Delta Upsilon) would say.

I think so.

I don't know why this would be part of anyone's marriage rites of passage. Even organizations that have groups for spouses tend not to have a ritual component in there. You're the husband or the wife but you don't get ritual rights.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I think so.

I don't know why this would be part of anyone's marriage rites of passage. Even organizations that have groups for spouses tend not to have a ritual component in there. You're the husband or the wife but you don't get ritual rights.

Right I guess I don't quite understand it. I'm not burning up inside to tell anyone anything about my ritual, in fact, I like that it's something I keep secret among sisters (except, of course, the things I let slip on GC, like wearing squirrel suits for initiation).

There are other secrets in life that one can share with a spouse. Like that hammertoe you've been dealing with since 11th grade.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by agzg

Right I guess I don't quite understand it. I'm not burning up inside to tell anyone anything about my ritual, in fact, I like that it's something I keep secret among sisters (except, of course, the things I let slip on GC, like wearing squirrel suits for initiation).

There are other secrets in life that one can share with a spouse. Like that hammertoe you've been dealing with since 11th grade.

LOL. I knew people who felt as though nothing should be kept from their significant other. These people stupidly had boyfriends or girlfriends help them study their pledge packets or allowed their spouse to read the ritual.

The rest of us are not that foolish. Even if our significant others know where our rituals are kept, and we know where our significant other's ritual is kept, no one bothers each other's rituals. Don't start none, won't be none.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

LOL. I knew people who felt as though nothing should be kept from their significant other. These people stupidly had boyfriends or girlfriends help them study their pledge packets or allowed their spouse to read the ritual.

The rest of us are not that foolish. Even if our significant others know where our rituals are kept, and we know where our significant other's ritual is kept, no one bothers each other's rituals. Don't start none, won't be none.

One of my serious boyfriends was a greek and sometimes he would tell me what I thought was too much info. I'd tell him I don't WANT to know anything secret (though what he was sharing was never, ever ritual...just things that weren't exactly common knowledge on campus). My mom and dad never shared anything about each others' organizations either when it comes to secrets and I won't.

I have friends in other organizations that would share unsolicited information that I shouldn't have ever been privy too, even when I'd tell them, "This sounds like something I shouldn't know". I never reciprocated and it would irritate them.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ

Okay, so there are two things wrong with these replies: 1. You aren't a Sigma Nu, so you wouldn't know if they are able to disclose information to their wives or not. And I didn't mean to imply that he could disclose all aspects of their ritual to me anyway.

No, that's exactly what you said.

I am not "connected" to Sigma Nu or allowed to know any of their secrets until I am married to him.

Your boyfriend may be a collegiate member. That's fantastic. I am a chapter advisor, chapter co-founder, co-founder of an alumni chapter and various subsidiary entities. I have a much more than passing familiarity with the ritual and with fraternity secrets, the rules promulgated by our national legislative body, etc. In short, believe me when I tell you this: If your boyfriend told you that he gets to tell you ANY ritual information when you are married, he is grossly mistaken. I'm not trying to be rude or nasty or anything like that--just trying to be clear in my meaning. The only thing which changes when you are married to this guy is that you will be able to wear his badge--and you will already have been able to do that once you became engaged (this, according to rules promulgated by the aforementioned national legislative body). You won't get to know what the badge means or any symbolism behind it whatsoever unless he wants to violate his oath and put his lifetime membership on the line.

And I don't appreciate your negative comments when all I've been trying to do is gain information and advice. I would appreciate it if you thought about what you were saying and assuming before you posted a reply.

I haven't read the thread, but I'll weigh in. I'm assuming the question is about lavaliering. Lavaliering is not addressed by our organization in any way, shape or form on a national level. Individual chapters are free to have their own traditions which usually are just the same as the traditions for everyone else in that region or on that particular campus.

I'm guessing that like a lot of traditions, lavaliering goes back to some jeweler wanting to sell cheaply made gold jewelry to college students paying with daddy's money. As for the badge itself, it may be worn by fiancées (and I'm guessing fiancés as well [these are the 2000s, you know]) and daughters. To be clear, it may not be worn by girlfriends or even people who have exchanged 'promise rings.'

Do it, don't do it, whatever. I truly wish you two the best.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

LOL. I knew people who felt as though nothing should be kept from their significant other. These people stupidly had boyfriends or girlfriends help them study their pledge packets or allowed their spouse to read the ritual.

The rest of us are not that foolish. Even if our significant others know where our rituals are kept, and we know where our significant other's ritual is kept, no one bothers each other's rituals. Don't start none, won't be none.

Before I attended college, I helped my biological brothers (Sigma Chis) study for their pledge tests. When in college, I did the same with my freshman roommate and some high school friends who were in various sororities. But in all cases, the pledge manuals / books / information used could be read by non-members. No ritual.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

One of my serious boyfriends was a greek and sometimes he would tell me what I thought was too much info. I'd tell him I don't WANT to know anything secret (though what he was sharing was never, ever ritual...just things that weren't exactly common knowledge on campus). My mom and dad never shared anything about each others' organizations either when it comes to secrets and I won't.

I have friends in other organizations that would share unsolicited information that I shouldn't have ever been privy too, even when I'd tell them, "This sounds like something I shouldn't know". I never reciprocated and it would irritate them.

When I was an undergrad, a few of us Sigs would be at a party with fellow Greeks and one of us would “accidently slip” with some “secrete” information. It was always bogus. Most often, it was done just to see how gullible people would be. And the ones who were often the most gullible were other Greeks.

Another fun thing to do at a party would be to start to act all nervous when someone would come up to us and say “I know what such-n-such means,” - and then proceed to tell us something incorrect. We would get a “holy crap” look on our faces as if they knew. My favorite thing to do at this point would be to over exaggerate my denial. "I swear that is not true." Which others interpreted as “He doth protest too much.”

I tried this once with my biological brothers – Sigma Chis – and the rest of our family (almost all are Greek) late one night during a family celebration. One of my brothers looked right at me and said “Your drunk. That isn’t what that stands for.” I was so busted!

The point is that sometimes, one may *think* they are hearing secrets/ritual but they may actually not.