Lavalier?

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

It's the same thing that I'm willing to bet the members of any other GLO (other than Delta Upsilon) would say.

I think so.

I don't know why this would be part of anyone's marriage rites of passage. Even organizations that have groups for spouses tend not to have a ritual component in there. You're the husband or the wife but you don't get ritual rights.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I think so.

I don't know why this would be part of anyone's marriage rites of passage. Even organizations that have groups for spouses tend not to have a ritual component in there. You're the husband or the wife but you don't get ritual rights.

Right I guess I don't quite understand it. I'm not burning up inside to tell anyone anything about my ritual, in fact, I like that it's something I keep secret among sisters (except, of course, the things I let slip on GC, like wearing squirrel suits for initiation).

There are other secrets in life that one can share with a spouse. Like that hammertoe you've been dealing with since 11th grade.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by agzg

Right I guess I don't quite understand it. I'm not burning up inside to tell anyone anything about my ritual, in fact, I like that it's something I keep secret among sisters (except, of course, the things I let slip on GC, like wearing squirrel suits for initiation).

There are other secrets in life that one can share with a spouse. Like that hammertoe you've been dealing with since 11th grade.

LOL. I knew people who felt as though nothing should be kept from their significant other. These people stupidly had boyfriends or girlfriends help them study their pledge packets or allowed their spouse to read the ritual.

The rest of us are not that foolish. Even if our significant others know where our rituals are kept, and we know where our significant other's ritual is kept, no one bothers each other's rituals. Don't start none, won't be none.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

LOL. I knew people who felt as though nothing should be kept from their significant other. These people stupidly had boyfriends or girlfriends help them study their pledge packets or allowed their spouse to read the ritual.

The rest of us are not that foolish. Even if our significant others know where our rituals are kept, and we know where our significant other's ritual is kept, no one bothers each other's rituals. Don't start none, won't be none.

One of my serious boyfriends was a greek and sometimes he would tell me what I thought was too much info. I'd tell him I don't WANT to know anything secret (though what he was sharing was never, ever ritual...just things that weren't exactly common knowledge on campus). My mom and dad never shared anything about each others' organizations either when it comes to secrets and I won't.

I have friends in other organizations that would share unsolicited information that I shouldn't have ever been privy too, even when I'd tell them, "This sounds like something I shouldn't know". I never reciprocated and it would irritate them.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

LOL. I knew people who felt as though nothing should be kept from their significant other. These people stupidly had boyfriends or girlfriends help them study their pledge packets or allowed their spouse to read the ritual.

The rest of us are not that foolish. Even if our significant others know where our rituals are kept, and we know where our significant other's ritual is kept, no one bothers each other's rituals. Don't start none, won't be none.

Before I attended college, I helped my biological brothers (Sigma Chis) study for their pledge tests. When in college, I did the same with my freshman roommate and some high school friends who were in various sororities. But in all cases, the pledge manuals / books / information used could be read by non-members. No ritual.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

One of my serious boyfriends was a greek and sometimes he would tell me what I thought was too much info. I'd tell him I don't WANT to know anything secret (though what he was sharing was never, ever ritual...just things that weren't exactly common knowledge on campus). My mom and dad never shared anything about each others' organizations either when it comes to secrets and I won't.

I have friends in other organizations that would share unsolicited information that I shouldn't have ever been privy too, even when I'd tell them, "This sounds like something I shouldn't know". I never reciprocated and it would irritate them.

When I was an undergrad, a few of us Sigs would be at a party with fellow Greeks and one of us would “accidently slip” with some “secrete” information. It was always bogus. Most often, it was done just to see how gullible people would be. And the ones who were often the most gullible were other Greeks.

Another fun thing to do at a party would be to start to act all nervous when someone would come up to us and say “I know what such-n-such means,” - and then proceed to tell us something incorrect. We would get a “holy crap” look on our faces as if they knew. My favorite thing to do at this point would be to over exaggerate my denial. "I swear that is not true." Which others interpreted as “He doth protest too much.”

I tried this once with my biological brothers – Sigma Chis – and the rest of our family (almost all are Greek) late one night during a family celebration. One of my brothers looked right at me and said “Your drunk. That isn’t what that stands for.” I was so busted!

The point is that sometimes, one may *think* they are hearing secrets/ritual but they may actually not.

[KD4Me]

I dated a Delt in college who tried to tell me that when they (Delts) got married, they "got" to tell their wives their ritual. He acted shocked when I told him that Kappa Delta does not allow that. I didn't buy the bit about DTD advocating sharing ritual, but I did wonder if it would be a short hop to "Well, we're pretty serious now, what does XYZ on your crest mean?"

I'm not suggesting that the OP's boyfriend has ulterior motives, just sharing that I heard something weird like that when I was in college, too. I never heard it from anyone, else, though. In retrospect, I should have asked his brothers about it, to see what they would have said about it!

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by TSteven

Before I attended college, I helped my biological brothers (Sigma Chis) study for their pledge tests. When in college, I did the same with my freshman roommate and some high school friends who were in various sororities. But in all cases, the pledge manuals / books / information used could be read by non-members. No ritual.

I'll take your word on that. I know that some GLOs have nonpublic information in their pledge packets--what would be the point of only testing "pledges" on info that the general public could access and know?

Anyway, generally speaking, I'm sorry to hear that someone in the prospective member period would let an outsider study with them.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I'll take your word on that. I know that some GLOs have nonpublic information in their pledge packets--what would be the point of testing "pledges" on info that the general public could access and know?

Anyway, generally speaking, I'm sorry to hear that someone in the prospective member period would let an outsider study with them.

IIRC there wasn't anything particularly "secret" in my new member manual, either. My pledge class always studied together and I don't think any of them let someone outside the chapter look at them, but the theory was that the majority of ritual was learned after initiation and therefore the information we were given prior wasn't super secret. I'd go look it up but it's in my closet in a box somewhere and I'm lazy.

[MysticCat]

Thanks for the information, Kevin.

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I'll take your word on that. I know that some GLOs have nonpublic information in their pledge packets--what would be the point of only testing "pledges" on info that the general public could access and know?

Well, I could ask what's the point of testing students on history/algebra/biology/etc., since all those entail information that the general public has access to and can know? What's the point in professional exams when anyone can have access to the information on which the examination is based?

Yeah, I'm being a little facetious, but in our handbook for probationary members there's nothing secret. Probationary members are tested to make sure they know and understand what they're supposed to know and understand. Others can perhaps look the information up; members are supposed to know it.

We've had this discussion before -- in many orgs, while there may be an assumption that no one other than members will care about reading what's in the pledge manual, it's not considered a problem at all for "outsiders" to read it. Like TSteven noted with Sigma Chi, many orgs now have their pledge manuals online, where anyone can access them. I certainly would think it preferable for pledges to study together, but TSteven's story isn't the first I've heard of siblings or roommates helping a pledge study.

Just another example of how different orgs do things differently.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by TSteven

Before I attended college, I helped my biological brothers (Sigma Chis) study for their pledge tests. When in college, I did the same with my freshman roommate and some high school friends who were in various sororities. But in all cases, the pledge manuals / books / information used could be read by non-members. No ritual.



When I was an undergrad, a few of us Sigs would be at a party with fellow Greeks and one of us would “accidently slip” with some “secrete” information. It was always bogus. Most often, it was done just to see how gullible people would be. And the ones who were often the most gullible were other Greeks.

Another fun thing to do at a party would be to start to act all nervous when someone would come up to us and say “I know what such-n-such means,” - and then proceed to tell us something incorrect. We would get a “holy crap” look on our faces as if they knew. My favorite thing to do at this point would be to over exaggerate my denial. "I swear that is not true." Which others interpreted as “He doth protest too much.”

I tried this once with my biological brothers – Sigma Chis – and the rest of our family (almost all are Greek) late one night during a family celebration. One of my brothers looked right at me and said “Your drunk. That isn’t what that stands for.” I was so busted!

The point is that sometimes, one may *think* they are hearing secrets/ritual but they may actually not.

Oh this wasn't messing with me, this was legitimate secret spilling ranging from the inner workings of standards to chapter drama to a couple of ritual-related things that I now know are true. For example...I guess they just wanted to bitch about drama but they'd go straight into discussions about standards etc. with me being the only non XYZ present.