how do sororities decide?

[LadyLonghorn]

Originally Posted by swtlilsoni

By knowing alot I dont mean rumors, I mean by interacting with them.

Yeah, whatever. Amazing you "interacted" enough with these ladies in the prior semester to know they weren't good enough for you, yet had no interaction with the members of the "superior" houses since they obviously had no impression of you. Or actually, maybe your interactions did leave an impression on them as well.

[Zillini]

This scenario isn't new. Every PNM is going to have favorites and there may be a chapter or 2 were they know they would not be happy at. Fair or not, right or wrong, their reasonings may be based on knowing numerous members, gossip, gut feelings, who knows.

I'm sure we all agree that it is not fair for a chapter to string along a PNM with party invitations knowing they will cut her before Pref. One of the primary reasons RFM was created was to cut/eliminate this. But the same thing applies to a PNM who strings a chapter along with no intention of accepting a Pref invite or bid. Don't accept their early round invitations just to have a full party schedule. It's not fair to that chapter who gave an uninterested PNM one of their limited number of invites/bids. It's not fair to the other PNMs who would have gladly accepted that invite/bid, but never got the chance.

[33girl]

1) There are 26 NPC sororities, ergo, there are 26 different membership selection procedures. There might be a sorority who penalizes you for meeting too many members. There might be a sorority who cares about nothing but grades and cuts everyone else. I have no clue. I (and everyone else on here) am only in one and therefore only privvy to the procedures of one.

2) You should have asked your Rho Chi or someone else for a ride to the pref party. There are lots of stories on here about how someone was "meh" about a sorority through rush and then loved them at pref. You missed that chance.

3) I like thinking about airports in Paris.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by 33girl

1)
3) I like thinking about airports in Paris.

I'm a CDG fan myself, but ORLY is fun too.

To the OP:

I'm going to be really honest with you. I went through informal recruitment, and I only gave one group a shot. I really wish I wouldn't have done that. There were so many fantastic women in each group that I would have loved to have called my sister, and I only got the chance to meet them by becoming more active with and in the Panhellenic Council.

I almost didn't get a bid to my organization. In fact, I don't even know why they bid me in the end, because even I would have probably cut me. I'd like to say I would have been devastated, and confused, but I don't think that's true. I just wasn't that in to being greek at the time. Fortunately I came around while I was a new member, but that doesn't happen for everyone.

If you aren't pinning all your hopes and dreams on being a member of a sorority, then by all means, cut them, blow them off, don't go when you're invited. If you really want to be a member of a sorority, at least go to the sorority that invited you to their preference. That's the closest you're going to get to actually being a member during the recruitment process, it's like trying on an outfit. THEN decide if they're not for you. That's why you rank after preference rounds, and that's why you sign a preference card. If you still thought you wouldn't have liked to have been in that chapter, don't fill out the preference card, just sign a blank one.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

I'm a CDG fan myself, but ORLY is fun too.


If you aren't pinning all your hopes and dreams on being a member of a sorority, then by all means, cut them, blow them off, don't go when you're invited. If you really want to be a member of a sorority, at least go to the sorority that invited you to their preference. That's the closest you're going to get to actually being a member during the recruitment process, it's like trying on an outfit. THEN decide if they're not for you. That's why you rank after preference rounds, and that's why you sign a preference card. If you still thought you wouldn't have liked to have been in that chapter, don't fill out the preference card, just sign a blank one.

This is why I love you.

This is great advice.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

This is why I love you.

My dad and I went to Paris for Spring Break last year. He said it was a graduation present. When we got there I realized that he took me because he wanted to go but didn't want to learn any of the language, so he figured his kid had a degree in foreign languages, she could be a translator. Probably the most exhausting vacation of my life (although yes, we did have a great time!).

He also used me as his personal tour guide because I had been to Paris before.

While we were setting up ticket reservations, I made sure we were dealing with Charles de Gaulle. Because every time I think of Orly, I think:

[exlurker]

Originally Posted by Zillini

This scenario isn't new. Every PNM is going to have favorites and there may be a chapter or 2 were they know they would not be happy at. Fair or not, right or wrong, their reasonings may be based on knowing numerous members, gossip, gut feelings, who knows.

I'm sure we all agree that it is not fair for a chapter to string along a PNM with party invitations knowing they will cut her before Pref. One of the primary reasons RFM was created was to cut/eliminate this. But the same thing applies to a PNM who strings a chapter along with no intention of accepting a Pref invite or bid. Don't accept their early round invitations just to have a full party schedule. It's not fair to that chapter who gave an uninterested PNM one of their limited number of invites/bids. It's not fair to the other PNMs who would have gladly accepted that invite/bid, but never got the chance.

Zillini, I'm confused, as usual. Maybe I'm just not aware of a change ... but I thoought that at most / all fully structured formal recruitments, a PNM could NOT decline an invite IF she needed that invite to make a "max possible" number of parties for a particular round. Depending on how many invites someone got, she might not be able to decline any, even ones she wanted to. Am I really wrong?

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by exlurker

Zillini, I'm confused, as usual. Maybe I'm just not aware of a change ... but I thoought that at most / all fully structured formal recruitments, a PNM could NOT decline an invite IF she needed that invite to make a "max possible" number of parties for a particular round. Depending on how many invites someone got, she might not be able to decline any, even ones she wanted to. Am I really wrong?

You are correct. It wouldn't make a difference anyway. The chapters get to release a certain number. The PNMs release after they receive invitations. No additional girls get to be invited if no one wants to accept their invites to a particular chapter. The point of having the PNMs keep going back is that even if they think they aren't interested at first, they may have no other options as the process advances.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by exlurker

Zillini, I'm confused, as usual. Maybe I'm just not aware of a change ... but I thoought that at most / all fully structured formal recruitments, a PNM could NOT decline an invite IF she needed that invite to make a "max possible" number of parties for a particular round. Depending on how many invites someone got, she might not be able to decline any, even ones she wanted to. Am I really wrong?

My apologies. I admit I am not used to the new (at least for this campus) preferential ranking system. Now PNMs group/rank the chapters they attended for a round, then sororities submit their invitation lists. After a little computer magic, PNMs simply receive a party schedule for the next round.

My earlier response came out of habit from spending so many years with the accept/regret system. A PNM was not forced to accept the max invitations, although not maximizing her options risked not receiving a guaranteed bid. There were PNMs who were willing to take this risk because they knew without a shadow of a doubt that they would not accept a bid from XYZ.

I understand the logic behind RFM and the preferential ranking. The goal is that if a PNM gives XYZ a chance by spending more time with them, then maybe she will realize that this is a sisterhood where she could be happy. That is a wonderful idea in theory, but let's be honest things don't always work that way. There will always be PNMs who won't change their minds no matter how much time they spend with a chapter.

I personally think it is unfair for those chapters who are in essence being strung along hoping to change minds. On top of that, these chapters are typically the smallest and therefore are being forced to spend a lot of resources (both in sister power and money) recruiting women who will not accept a bid from them. Is it really helpful to these small chapters to make them recruit with 1 active to 3 or 4 PNMs when there is no chance of "getting" 2 or even 3 of them? Wouldn't it be better to have a 1:1 or 1:2 recruiter to PNM ratio with those they truly have a chance at?

Just my thoughts.

[KSUViolet06]

I always feel like a PNM has every right in the world to decline bids/pref invites/ whatever.

However, my opinions is that you kind of forfeit your right to complain about the system/the process when you do so.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I always feel like a PNM has every right in the world to decline bids/pref invites/ whatever.

However, my opinions is that you kind of forfeit your right to complain about the system/the process when you do so.

I agree. However it is worth pointing out that the OP did not complain, she simply asked a common question - how we decide.

[Low C Sharp]

it is completely fair

This is more for the benefit of other PNMs reading the thread than for the OP, but...no selection process in life is completely fair. College admissions and job interviewing are a long way from being completely fair. Legacy policies are quite unfair to unconnected applicants, but they persist because they carry other advantages for the institution. Sometimes people get cut unfairly because the people making the selection are jealous or bitter. It's not fair that good-looking people have a leg up in life compared to ugly people. But it happens.

Groups have a right to use any process they want to choose members, whether it's fair or not. But I think we'd serve all young people better if we don't pretend that things are fair when they are not. Groups STRIVE to be as fair as POSSIBLE. Some come closer than others. But sometimes people get cut from a process and it's not fair at all.

[srmom]

You were perfectly within your rights to decide the group wasn't for you. It's called "mutual selection" and you, as a pnm, decided to drop.

The other houses decided, for whatever reason, which are all confidential so you will never know, that they would not invite you for pref.

Nowhere in your posts did you say that you felt you were "better" than the house that you dropped, nor did you say that they were "beneath" you. That has been inferred by other posters and repeated as if you had originally posted either disparaging thing.
I wish you well in the future. Perhaps COB will work out, perhaps not.

BTW - jwright, after trying brussel sprouts once in my life many years ago, I can unequivocally say - I don't like brussel sprouts. I will not be bullied into liking them, nor made to feel bad about my decision to not want to eat them.

Wow, we cross posted trideltasallie - my thinking exactly!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by srmom

Nowhere in your posts did you say that you felt you were "better" than the house that you dropped, nor did you say that they were "beneath" you.

I believe the phrase "not worth the trouble" is the thing the OP said that stuck in people's craws. It's unquestionably a very dismissive thing to say.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I believe the phrase "not worth the trouble" is the thing the OP said that stuck in people's craws. It's unquestionably a very dismissive thing to say.

Right. I think people were just wondering, how do you know it's not worth the trouble if you don't go?