Received a blatant B-list invitation BY PHONE BY PROXY, what to do?

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Someone is either important to you, and you find a way to put them on your list, or they aren't. You don't get to have it both ways.

THIS is the problem. To most people invited = important/loved/the best, and not invited = why are we even friends?

Sometimes it's too expensive.. Or the couple wants a small wedding.. Or someone is forgotten.. Or whatever. There could be a million different reasons why someone isn't invited, but that doesn't automatically mean they're not important to the couple.

Or hell, maybe they aren't important, and they were purposely left off. Oh well! I stick with my point.. Get over it and move on.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

THIS is the problem. To most people invited = important/loved/the best, and not invited = why are we even friends?

Sometimes it's too expensive.. Or the couple wants a small wedding.. Or someone is forgotten.. Or whatever. There could be a million different reasons why someone isn't invited, but that doesn't automatically mean they're not important to the couple.

Or hell, maybe they aren't important, and they were purposely left off. Oh well! I stick with my point.. Get over it and move on.

No, that's fine. You can leave people off your guest list. I know plenty of people who have had small weddings. If you are fine with someone not being there, then don't invite them. The problem is not excluding people, it's a) inviting someone to the bachelor party and not the wedding, b) sending someone a last-minute invitation, and c) talking about the wedding at length in front of people who weren't (at the time) invited. Do you not see how those things are rude?

It's ridiculous how many people think that planning a wedding means they can treat other people any way they want, and then the guests are supposed to just suck it up and show up smiling.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

No, that's fine. You can leave people off your guest list. I know plenty of people who have had small weddings. If you are fine with someone not being there, then don't invite them. The problem is not excluding people, it's a) inviting someone to the bachelor party and not the wedding, b) sending someone a last-minute invitation, and c) talking about the wedding at length in front of people who weren't (at the time) invited. Do you not see how those things are rude?

It's ridiculous how many people think that planning a wedding means they can treat other people any way they want, and then the guests are supposed to just suck it up and show up smiling.

I didn't say the bride and groom can treat people like crap. But people get bent out of shape about stupid things, and usually it's in regards to people they never cared that much for to begin with.

So again I say.. Who cares?

And hell, they could have said, "Oh, it got lost in the mail," when in reality, they made a mistake and forgot to send it. I know I've done that before.

Besides, it was the mother of the groom who apparently was being the b****, but now you're going to screw over the bride and groom and give them a gift they can't even use? If that's the case, don't even bother to show up.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

It's ridiculous how many people think that planning a wedding means they can treat other people any way they want, and then the guests are supposed to just suck it up and show up smiling.

I really don't think its that. In the weddings I've been involved in, it was a matter of cost. The couple wanted to invite "everyone", but couldn't afford it. They had to budget for everything.

When you invite people to your wedding you have to factor in the cost per person. Even if you are having a small wedding, there is still a cost to everything.

The idea of an "A" list and "B" list is to make sure who is coming, and the couple can afford to have them there. If some one from the "A" list can't come, then someone from the "B" list will get the invite, and hopefully that person can come. Doing it this way, if the couple has budgeted for 150 people, they can still reach that number and not risk going over. One of the worst things to happen at a wedding is to run out of food!