Received a blatant B-list invitation BY PHONE BY PROXY, what to do? - Page 2

honeychile · #16 08-10-2012, 03:37 PM

FWIW, we know of TWENTY people who never received their wedding invitations to our wedding! There could be more, but those people could have been insulted and didn't say anything. We were both mortified.

One was a groomsman, who finally did receive his invitation - a month after the wedding! So, YES, the post office is quite capable of messing up invitations!

groovypq · #17 08-10-2012, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DZsis&mom

I would not be offended by this.

For my nephew's wedding, they sent out the first round of invites & had to wait for RSVP's. As they started getting "No's", they would send out more invites. They only had so much space & if everyone they wanted to invite (even the distant relatives) came, there would not have been enough room at the venue.

Of course I was in the first round because I was the favorite Aunt !!!!

My husband and I did this. Didn't work out quite like we would have liked because the RSVPs didn't come back that quickly, but we were able to add in people we wanted to add.

But OMG, DISCRETION PLEASE! (not your nephew, DZsis&mom) We sure as heck didn't say "we hope to see you IF there's room to invite you"!!!! We also didn't brag about it being the party of the century - cause it wasn't, it was small to begin with. Hold your tongue if you're not sure if you can invite someone.

ree-Xi · #18 08-10-2012, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I'm a big fan of the donation to a charity they care about in their name. That way, they get nothing, but can't bitch about it.

You can always make a donation in their name to the Human Fund.

People tend to lose all sense of civility, manners and sanity when it comes to weddings. If you do go, promise yourself to have a good time. If you can't see yourself having fun and being able to get past the situation, do yourself a favor plan a night out with your hubby or your friends, crack a bottle of wine, and don't give the wedding another thought.

tld221 · #19 08-10-2012, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

You can always make a donation in their name to the Human Fund.

People tend to lose all sense of civility, manners and sanity when it comes to weddings. If you do go, promise yourself to have a good time. If you can't see yourself having fun and being able to get past the situation, do yourself a favor plan a night out with your hubby or your friends, crack a bottle of wine, and don't give the wedding another thought.

I was SO waiting for this!

I say go and have a good time. Drink their drink, eat their food, and have a good ol time wih hubby. So what if you weren't on the A-list? You aren't even that close withe the couple. I agree with whoever said to to have a good time and buy a moderately priced gift.

Don't even buy a new outfit. Wear what you have and have a good time. Even if you decide not to go, it's not the end of the world.

tld221 · #20 08-10-2012, 05:17 PM

Ps I thought this was a rush/recruitment thread based on the title. Just me?

MaryPoppins · #21 08-10-2012, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

Ps I thought this was a rush/recruitment thread based on the title. Just me?

Nope me too.

ellebud · #22 08-10-2012, 06:08 PM

Give the wedding present at the engagement party. One and done!

Unless the couple has a charity listed a donation "in their name" comes off as snarky.

One of my dearest friends (an AEPhi alum as am I) is giving a wedding next spring. She is under very tight space constraints. I already know that the majority of the guest list is comprised of friends of the bride and groom from out of town. All the young people say that they are coming. Probably not. I am on the B List. I don't care. If a space opens H and I will, if we are free that night, go to the wedding. I'm not hurt. (But I do give great gifts.)

PeppyGPhiB · #23 08-10-2012, 06:16 PM

I think it's odd your husband was invited to the Bachelor Party but not the wedding...initially. No one should be invited to the pre-wedding events without also being invited to the wedding.

The MOG has no tact...she should't be discussing the wedding with/around anyone who might not be invited. If I was in your shoes, I would have declined the invitation, saying I had already made other plans for the day.

Also, an engagement party is supposed to be held very shortly after the bride and groom become engaged, for people to celebrate the good news. It makes no sense when it's so close to the wedding.

aephi alum · #24 08-10-2012, 08:12 PM

You've all given me some great advice...

We are planning to attend the engagement party and the wedding, enjoy the food and drink, and give a rather smaller gift than we otherwise would. It's not being B-listed that's bothering me as much as the fact that the MOG was so OBVIOUS about it... going on and on about how wonderful the wedding was going to be and then saying "maybe" we'd be invited. IMO, she should have kept mum until she either (a) knew they'd be able to invite us, at which point she could have told us about the venue and warned us it would be black tie (as DH has to make arrangements now to rent a tux), or (b) knew they wouldn't be able to invite us, in which case she could have said something like, "Unfortunately, the venue was very small and the bride has a huge immediate family."

Xidelt · #25 08-10-2012, 09:57 PM

I don't think your husband has to go to the bother and expense of renting a tux. Just wear a dark suit and call it a day. The MOG's rude manners don't warrrant the effort and money of a rental.

ellebud · #26 08-10-2012, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aephi alum

You've all given me some great advice...

We are planning to attend the engagement party and the wedding, enjoy the food and drink, and give a rather smaller gift than we otherwise would. It's not being B-listed that's bothering me as much as the fact that the MOG was so OBVIOUS about it... going on and on about how wonderful the wedding was going to be and then saying "maybe" we'd be invited. IMO, she should have kept mum until she either (a) knew they'd be able to invite us, at which point she could have told us about the venue and warned us it would be black tie (as DH has to make arrangements now to rent a tux), or (b) knew they wouldn't be able to invite us, in which case she could have said something like, "Unfortunately, the venue was very small and the bride has a huge immediate family."

OK..MOG...classless. You are totally correct. You however are one classy broad. And your husband does NOT have to rent a tuxedo. First, look for super sales if it is in your time frame. (My son bought his $1500 tuxedo for $345 at a final call sale at Bloomingdales.) And here, a part of town with a fair number of black tie events, many men dark a nice dark suit with a really nice tie, shirt and pocket square.

ellebud · #27 08-10-2012, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xidelt

I don't think your husband has to go to the bother and expense of renting a tux. Just wear a dark suit and call it a day. The MOG's rude manners don't warrrant the effort and money of a rental.

We must have posted at the same time...outstanding advice.

Xidelt · #28 08-10-2012, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellebud

We must have posted at the same time...outstanding advice.

Jinx!

ASTalumna06 · #29 08-10-2012, 10:34 PM

It's issues like this that make me never want to get married.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

You can always make a donation in their name to the Human Fund.

People tend to lose all sense of civility, manners and sanity when it comes to weddings. If you do go, promise yourself to have a good time. If you can't see yourself having fun and being able to get past the situation, do yourself a favor plan a night out with your hubby or your friends, crack a bottle of wine, and don't give the wedding another thought.

Two Seinfeld references on Greekchat in the same day?! Awesome.

And I agree. I love weddings, but everyone makes it about THEM. At my brother's wedding a few months ago, my aunt turned to me during their first dance and said, "I hate that these dances seem to go on forever. They should cut the song off halfway through." Ugh. Shut up. My brother sat through your first dance a few years back, now you should do the same for him.

A wedding is about the BRIDE and GROOM. It's amazing how many people forget that.

And if someone that you don't really care that much for just happens to "offend" you in a minor way, be the bigger person, brush it off, and move on with your life.

People can invite whoever they want. Quite frankly, I want to invite no one to my wedding.

Vegas, baby!

aephi alum · #30 08-10-2012, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

People can invite whoever they want. Quite frankly, I want to invite no one to my wedding.

Vegas, baby!

A-freaking-men. At one point, I was so sick of the wedding planning that I joked that we should elope. In front of my MIL. Big mistake. Cue MIL tantrum. "I ***WILL*** BE AT ***MY SON'S WEDDING*** !!!!!!!!!!" (whine, whine, lie on floor kicking and screaming - I kid you not - my MIL is a toddler in a 65yo body)

Quote:

A wedding is about the BRIDE and GROOM. It's amazing how many people forget that.

Again, a-freaking-men.