Deactivation - please help! :(

[FSUZeta]

OP, I can promise you that if your nationals recently held a membership review, that there are serious problems nationals felt needed to be addressed. National officers don't sit around at headquarters throwing darts at a map and then say, "Oh, the dart landed on Problem University. Let's book our flights, go down there and make their lives a living hell"- they don't just swoop down on a chapter without good cause. Most often before the situation becomes one that warrants a membership review national office has tried to work with the chapter to solve the problems while they are still manageable. Your national officers could have pulled your charter and shut down the chapter-consider yourselves lucky.

You may be stuck with the advisors you have because they are the only ones who will give up their personal time to your chapter. There is a lesson to be learned in every situation. Working with these alums., who you say are difficult, may help you gain insight and skills that you will be able to use if you ever encounter a difficult superior when you join the work force. Plus, your advisors may be coming down hard due to the problems the sorority is experiencing right now. It may not seem like it, but those ladies do have the good of the sorority at heart. It is just that they are probably looking at the big picture, while the collegians are more concentrated on their chapter.
Did you know that advisors are not paid? They volunteer their time to serve their sororities. Just telling you this because sometimes collegians have the misconception that alumnae advise because of the pay!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

It is just that they are probably looking at the big picture, while the collegians be more concentrated on their chapter.

Further, if they've been around for a while, they see things through a historical perspective that collegians don't have if they are only there for four years.

Now, my collegiate chapter had a lot of problems with collegians, alumnae, and HQ not being on the same page, so I would never boil it down to "alumnae are right, collegians are wrong" or vice-versa, rather, I think there can be a lot of talking past one another when trying to explain why and how things are being done.

[Greek_or_Geek?]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

OP, I can promise you that if your nationals recently held a membership review, that there are serious problems nationals felt needed to be addressed. National officers don't sit around at headquarters throwing darts at a map and then say, "Oh, the dart landed on Problem University. Let's book our flights, go down there and make their lives a living hell"- they don't just swoop down on a chapter without good cause. Most often before the situation becomes one that warrants a membership review national office has tried to work with the chapter to solve the problems while they are still manageable. Your national officers could have pulled your charter and shut down the chapter-consider yourselves lucky.

You may be stuck with the advisors you have because they are the only ones who will give up their personal time to your chapter. There is a lesson to be learned in every situation. Working with these alums., who you say are difficult, may help you gain insight and skills that you will be able to use if you ever encounter a difficult superior when you join the work force. Plus, your advisors may be coming down hard due to the problems the sorority is experiencing right now. It may not seem like it, but those ladies do have the good of the sorority at heart. It is just that they are probably looking at the big picture, while the collegians be more concentrated on their chapter.
Did you know that advisors are not paid? They volunteer their time to serve their sororities. Just telling you this because sometimes collegians have the misconception that alumnae advise because of the pay!

Exactly. Dealing with a chapter that has issues severe enough to expel members is not a walk in the park. The actives will never know the truth about the situation and the advisors will all look like big meanies. What you call micromanaging is them trying to make sure your chapter doesn't get shut down.

[33girl]

Honestly, y'all?

It sounds less like she is upset that her sisters lost their membership (which is what usually ticks people off the most in situations like this) and more like she can't believe that someone didn't agree with her because she is so incredibly incredible.

The Tracy Flick is strong in this one. It's great to have strong campus leaders around, but not when they martyr themselves over it or think they should get special privileges. Next.

[DrPhil]

/lane swerve

[AOII Angel]

I agree, 33, and as soon as she realizes that she doesn't know the whole story behind the actions of her organization's national body, she can work to move things along. I bet you $1,000 this is about risk management issues.

[wildcat601]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I agree, 33, and as soon as she realizes that she doesn't know the whole story behind the actions of her organization's national body, she can work to move things along. I bet you $1,000 this is about risk management issues.

No, risk management is the least of my concerns. Issues with programming, specifically with philanthropy, were the catalyst for all of this. The most recent incident indirectly involved risk management, but that was essentially the last straw.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by wildcat601

No, risk management is the least of my concerns. Issues with programming, specifically with philanthropy, were the catalyst for all of this. The most recent incident indirectly involved risk management, but that was essentially the last straw.

Yes, but that was the issue with your National organization. This is often a area of conflict between collegiates and advisers. Collegiates sometimes have a hard time seeing how their actions may effect the reputation, legal standing and health of their members, chapter and entire organization. That is where your advisers and national organization come in. It is their responsibility to make sure that you consider those repercussions and follow the regulations set forth by your group. These issues are NEVER about a single incident. That is why we tell you to realize you know only part of the story. National officers have to make very difficult decisions, and none of these women go in thinking "Yippee, I get to yank letters away from some collegiate bitch today."

[wildcat601]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Honestly, y'all?

It sounds less like she is upset that her sisters lost their membership (which is what usually ticks people off the most in situations like this) and more like she can't believe that someone didn't agree with her because she is so incredibly incredible.

That is not what happened. The girl whose membership was in question ultimately got to stay in the sorority. This issue was just one of many we've had with advisors in the past. The other issues came from working with advisors as philanthropy chair. They put a lot of pressure on us to raise more money, and then reject all of our ideas. I admit this is warranted in some cases. However, it's frustrating to have your idea rejected and then see your sorority at other colleges use that idea because their advisors approved it. (And for the record, these weren't all of my ideas -- it takes a chapter to plan a week of philanthropy events.)

I guess I haven't been around long enough to get the Tracy Flick reference.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by wildcat601

That is not what happened. The girl whose membership was in question ultimately got to stay in the sorority. This issue was just one of many we've had with advisors in the past. The other issues came from working with advisors as philanthropy chair. They put a lot of pressure on us to raise more money, and then reject all of our ideas. I admit this is warranted in some cases. However, it's frustrating to have your idea rejected and then see your sorority at other colleges use that idea because their advisors approved it. (And for the record, these weren't all of my ideas -- it takes a chapter to plan a week of philanthropy events.)

I guess I haven't been around long enough to get the Tracy Flick reference.

Can you be more specific about the good philanthropy ideas that the advisors turned down?

[wildcat601]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Can you be more specific about the philanthropy ideas that the advisors turned down?

Thanks for taking the time to read through all of this! I can't be too specific, as it'd give away my sorority, but I'll do what I can.

- Late night food: This is a popular fundraiser among sororities and fraternities at my school. Members cook and serve inexpensive food at their house (pancakes, pasta, etc.) for $5 from 10pm-1am. Over half of the other greek organizations have fundraisers like this, with more doing it every year. The profits are huge.

- Puns/slogans: These were more frustrating. To advertise for our philanthropy, we wanted to make banners and flyers with phrases that played off of our cause. We also wanted to sell tshirts with the phrases to raise more money. These were rejected and they didn't have any other suggestions when we asked for help. Later that month we saw banners with those phrases on our national facebook page, so that was frustrating as well.

It sounds stupid but the witty phrases do help raise money and awareness. For whatever reason, once a year another sorority on campus fundraises for a similar cause and they use slogans that are riskier than the ones we came up with. Their facebook event is much more popular and they raise more money in one day than we do in three.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by wildcat601

Thanks for taking the time to read through all of this! I can't be too specific, as it'd give away my sorority, but I'll do what I can.

- Late night food: This is a popular fundraiser among sororities and fraternities at my school. Members cook and serve inexpensive food at their house (pancakes, pasta, etc.) for $5 from 10pm-1am. Over half of the other greek organizations have fundraisers like this, with more doing it every year. The profits are huge.

- Puns/slogans: These were more frustrating. To advertise for our philanthropy, we wanted to make banners and flyers with phrases that played off of our cause. We also wanted to sell tshirts with the phrases to raise more money. These were rejected and they didn't have any other suggestions when we asked for help. Later that month we saw banners with those phrases on our national facebook page, so that was frustrating as well.

It sounds stupid but the witty phrases do help raise money and awareness. For whatever reason, once a year another sorority on campus fundraises for a similar cause and they use slogans that are riskier than the ones we came up with. Their facebook event is much more popular and they raise more money in one day than we do in three.

I hate to say it, because you seem to be the kind of member we'd all like to have, but I can see the adviser issues here. The event itself does have risk management issues. Unkinown people in the house after "hours", who would cook the food (possible health department issue not to mention insurance issue), possibly needing an adviser there at a non standard time, etc. Just the first few things off the top of my head...and some chapters may have ways to deal with these things whereas yours may not.

As for the banners, etc, those can be issues as well. We control that kind of thing in my GLO = national policy speaking. All tee shirts have to be approved, etc. While it might be cute, it may not be something you'd wear to visit your grandmother. And I think that's probably what the advisers are looking at.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by wildcat601

By helping with the new member, do you mean my little? Just wanted to clarify. Thank you for your response!

You said:

Originally Posted by wildcat601

This especially applies to my "little" – I love her and feel guilty for ditching her, even though I would still be around and actively help with pledge mom week and stuff.

If you terminate your membership, it would be as inappropriate for you to help her in an active fashion as it would be for you to (example) write a bill for her to submit if she was a student senator. Can you bring her dinner when she's going crazy trying to figure out a schedule for pledge mom week? Yes. Can you go decorate the house with her? No. She should have a committee or at least an assistant pledgemistress to assist her with those things. Even if the two of you are still cool, be aware that if you terminate, there will be some sisters that don't want to see you within a mile of the house - especially if they hold you in the same regard as you appear to hold many of them.

That kind of brings up another question. How DO the majority of the members think of you? Did they just elect you to positions because they thought you would do a good job, or are you genuinely popular in the chapter? I say this because it almost sounds like they have NO CLUE that you regard most of them as drama queens, fake etc. and that you've put forth a very successful "super sister" facade.

[wildcat601]

Originally Posted by 33girl

That kind of brings up another question. How DO the majority of the members think of you? Did they just elect you to positions because they thought you would do a good job, or are you genuinely popular in the chapter? I say this because it almost sounds like they have NO CLUE that you regard most of them as drama queens, fake etc. and that you've put forth a very successful "super sister" facade.

While I said there are a lot of dramatic/fake girls, I didn't say they comprised the majority. I have a handful of very good friends in the chapter, so there are maybe two handfuls of girls I don't like. The rest of the members are nice girls but I don't know them as well.

I think I'm generally liked, but I guess I can't be sure about the way in which I'm liked. Before elections several girls asked me to run for president, so whether or not that's because I'm popular or because I could do a good job, I don't know. People generally value my opinion, but I'm not sure how this relates to whether or not I stay in the chapter. If they wanted me out, they would act like they wanted me out IMHO.