I don't know how I feel about my sorority...

[aesovs]

I was in a similar situation last fall when I accepted my bid. I would really encourage you to stick it out and go to all the events you can and to make every effort to get to know your sisters - this means more than inviting them to go out with you. It's eating lunch or dinner with them, grabbing coffee with them, or just spending time studying or hanging out around the house (if your campus has fraternity and sorority houses, that is). If you aren't willing to make this commitment (or are unable to because of other commitments), then drop. I do not know one single girl who accepted a bid with me at my house or any other who automatically clicked with everyone in their sorority. It takes time and effort, and honestly, if you only joined a sorority because you thought it would allow you to meet hot guys and go to the best parties, you didn't choose Greek life for the right reasons. At least on my campus, you can go to any parties you want to at the fraternities if you're a girl. You don't need letters to do that.

Being in a sorority is like starting a new school - you don't make friends instantly and you may not like everyone you meet. The point is that you have to try and find the girls like you. I promise that there's someone you'll get along with - you just need to try and be around more if you want to find them. Like I said before, though, if you just don't have enough time for it you should drop. There's no point in being in a sorority if you're not going to go to the functions or get to know your sisters.

Basically, I know how you feel right now. I'm in what most people would call a "lower tier" sorority on my campus (although I hate ranking), but I made an effort and I've really come to love it. Like everyone else has said, you can either make the effort or you can drop. I'm sorry that no one told you that you can't ever join another org, but it is what it is, so you should make the best of it if you really think Greek life's for you.

[sb55]

Thanks to everyone who responded! You were really helpful.

To everyone who said I was lazy and just wanted the world to revolve around me without putting any work in, I wish you would've read that I said "I'm not sure I have the time/skills/effort to do that. I wouldn't be sure where to begin."
It wasn't me saying I wasn't willing to put in the effort, it was me saying I was unsure I was fit for the job.

Please read posts fully before responding, this was all pretty hateful...

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by sb55

Thanks to everyone who responded! You were really helpful.

To everyone who said I was lazy and just wanted the world to revolve around me without putting any work in, I wish you would've read that I said "I'm not sure I have the time/skills/effort to do that. I wouldn't be sure where to begin."
It wasn't me saying I wasn't willing to put in the effort, it was me saying I was unsure I was fit for the job.

Please read posts fully before responding, this was all pretty hateful...

What part of not having the time/effort is NOT lazy? If it was important to you, you would MAKE time. As for skills...that's a cop-out. Everyone has got something they could contribute skills-wise, unless you're a brainless blob. Addressing COB invites, hanging event flyers, and those sorts of things don't require any particular skills that a college student (or first grader) wouldn't have.

[sb55]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

What part of not having the time/effort is NOT lazy? If it was important to you, you would MAKE time. As for skills...that's a cop-out. Everyone has got something they could contribute skills-wise, unless you're a brainless blob. Addressing COB invites, hanging event flyers, and those sorts of things don't require any particular skills that a college student (or first grader) wouldn't have.

Yeah I get you. I just don't know how I would help improve the reputation? How does one do that?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by sb55

Yeah I get you. I just don't know how I would help improve the reputation? How does one do that?

• By presenting yourself well;
• By refusing to buy into the reputation;
• By showing pride in your organization;
• By helping recruit quality members;
• By getting to know your sisters as people, warts and all, and deciding that they matter to you, regardless of what other people think, and
• By not letting it slide when someone gives you the "Oh-you're-in-that-sorority" look. You don't have to be rude, but you can answer with pride "Yes, I am."

That would be a start. Reputations aren't built overnight and they're not broken down overnight, but doing things like this can go a long way in the erosion process.

[princessamy]

Originally Posted by sb55

Thanks to everyone who responded! You were really helpful.

To everyone who said I was lazy and just wanted the world to revolve around me without putting any work in, I wish you would've read that I said "I'm not sure I have the time/skills/effort to do that. I wouldn't be sure where to begin."
It wasn't me saying I wasn't willing to put in the effort, it was me saying I was unsure I was fit for the job.

Please read posts fully before responding, this was all pretty hateful...

Maybe you should reread the posts that you posted.

[LAblondeGPhi]

Originally Posted by sb55

Yeah I get you. I just don't know how I would help improve the reputation? How does one do that?

The book "I Heart Recruitment" is a great resource:
http://www.amazon.com/Heart-Recruitm...1574530&sr=8-1

Originally Posted by sb55

To everyone who said I was lazy and just wanted the world to revolve around me without putting any work in, I wish you would've read that I said "I'm not sure I have the time/skills/effort to do that. I wouldn't be sure where to begin."
It wasn't me saying I wasn't willing to put in the effort, it was me saying I was unsure I was fit for the job.

Please read posts fully before responding, this was all pretty hateful...

As in life, getting defensive on GreekChat will get you nowhere. One of the greatest lessons I learned in college is that if you're not getting the response you desire to either your words or your actions, then you have to look at yourself for the answer - change your approach, change your actions, change your attitude, change your wording, be open to self-evaluation. This is such a good life lesson when you get passed up for a promotion, when you don't get accepted into a competitive program, or when you don't get elected to a position you want.

Anyway, you're young and you came on here for advice. You got hammered a little bit because much of what you've said comes straight out of the classic cop-out lexicon. I think if you read through some of the posts from women in your situation, you'll understand better why you got the responses you did.

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by sb55

Thanks to everyone who responded! You were really helpful.

To everyone who said I was lazy and just wanted the world to revolve around me without putting any work in, I wish you would've read that I said "I'm not sure I have the time/skills/effort to do that. I wouldn't be sure where to begin."
It wasn't me saying I wasn't willing to put in the effort, it was me saying I was unsure I was fit for the job.

Please read posts fully before responding, this was all pretty hateful...

I feel like I understand your point. I really, really do. I feel like, to a lot of people, the "image" of a sorority is fun. It's about fun, but the fun comes with a lot of hard work. Mixers, formals, date dashes, even initiations don't plan themselves. Someone's putting in the work.

But I understand your concern. What if I don't have enough time to be the one planning the events that make girls come and join? And this could be true. But that doesn't mean that you cannot and should not stick it out and continue supporting however you can. Not everyone has to be on eboard. Heck, there isn't enough room in most houses for everyone to be on eboard.

I think the question you have to ask is, "how can I contribute to this house, and what can I do to make myself a functioning member of this sorority and still be a well-rounded human being?" I can't think of a house on this planet that doesn't want to be "plugged in" to the other aspects of campus life, and academics are always the most important thing.

I do see your point, I'm not trying to snark at you. I just feel like you worded it terribly.

[sb55]

Originally Posted by aesovs

I was in a similar situation last fall when I accepted my bid. I would really encourage you to stick it out and go to all the events you can and to make every effort to get to know your sisters - this means more than inviting them to go out with you. It's eating lunch or dinner with them, grabbing coffee with them, or just spending time studying or hanging out around the house (if your campus has fraternity and sorority houses, that is). If you aren't willing to make this commitment (or are unable to because of other commitments), then drop. I do not know one single girl who accepted a bid with me at my house or any other who automatically clicked with everyone in their sorority. It takes time and effort, and honestly, if you only joined a sorority because you thought it would allow you to meet hot guys and go to the best parties, you didn't choose Greek life for the right reasons. At least on my campus, you can go to any parties you want to at the fraternities if you're a girl. You don't need letters to do that.

Being in a sorority is like starting a new school - you don't make friends instantly and you may not like everyone you meet. The point is that you have to try and find the girls like you. I promise that there's someone you'll get along with - you just need to try and be around more if you want to find them. Like I said before, though, if you just don't have enough time for it you should drop. There's no point in being in a sorority if you're not going to go to the functions or get to know your sisters.

Basically, I know how you feel right now. I'm in what most people would call a "lower tier" sorority on my campus (although I hate ranking), but I made an effort and I've really come to love it. Like everyone else has said, you can either make the effort or you can drop. I'm sorry that no one told you that you can't ever join another org, but it is what it is, so you should make the best of it if you really think Greek life's for you.

Hey just wanted to say thanks, this was so helpful! And I didn't join to meet guys and party, I really wanted to make good friends and meet new people.

I knew it wouldn't happen right off the bat but the atmosphere was almost unfriendly, which threw me off.

And yeah, I'll try to quit something or other so I can make more time to get to know people. Thanks!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by sb55

I get where you're coming from, but I didn't sign up to work super hard to improve our reputation and make us look good on campus. i signed up for a sorority because it seemed like fun; it seemed like somewhere I could meet a lot of people and have a good time. Of course I would love to help out with stuff...but not improving-reputation kind of stuff. I honestly wouldn't even know where to begin with that. I don't think I have the time, energy, brain-power, patience, and skill to pull off something like that...but is that such a crime? There wasn't a "membership contract" that said that.

Honey, I hate to break this to you, but there are a lot of things that go along with joining a sorority that you won't find in any membership contract. You won't find advice about consoling a sister whose parent just died, you won't find tips on how to deal emotionally with low recruitment numbers, you won't find ways to deal with a sister who slept with your ex-boyfriend, and you won't find information about the possibility of your chapter closing.

Unexpected problems occur ALL THE TIME. Some of them are small, some of them are huge.. And many times, there are no set of instructions as to how to deal with each one of those issues. These are life experiences that you have to work through. Sorry.. But with sorority membership comes WORK - it's not all fun and games.

Originally Posted by sb55

Ouch, woman.

You're the one who said I should help improve their reputation and I replied that I wasn't sure I had the skills/ability to do that...so really, calm down.

You don't have the skills or ability to fix things, but you haven't even tried. That's a good way to go through life......

Tell your future boss that when a problem arises at work
Tell your future husband that when times get rough
Tell your future kids that when they start crying

I'm sure they'll all understand.

Originally Posted by Old_Row

Good luck with not working hard in your future ventures too.

Exactly.