Hi! (transfer school, sorority chapter at new school?)

[RedRoseM.D.]

Hi everyone,

I am new to greekchat. I'm an AOII alum who is a pediatrician. I just linked to this thread from another thread and as I was reading over it, I was shocked at some of the cutting comments on here. Especially Barbie's Rush. If I am breaking the rules of greekchat, then pardon me, but Barbie's Rush should be ashamed for posting such crude and rude replies to mary 1510. I logged on just to offer my some sympathy and support to mary1510.

She stated that she was a Zeta at UT, not UT San Antonio and she stated several times that she did not go to her first university with intentions of transferring to another university. In fact, she stated that she transferred to be closer to home because her mother has breast cancer. And now, the Zeta chapter there has decided not to allow her to affiliate, which, understandably, must be extremely upsetting on it's own, especially given that her roommate was allowed to affiliate and that she has a family crisis.

Being an adviser for my own sorority and being familiar with recruitment and affiliation at a large school, I am deeply sorry Mary, sorry that Zeta would not allow you to affiliate, even on a probationary basis, and sorry that your mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer. My understanding is that transfers do not count in chapter total, so the chapter's reason for not allowing you to affiliate is really perplexing to me. Look at it this way, if they did not allow you to affiliate, then you may not have felt comfortable with a group of girls who would take that kind of action against an initiated sister. Since we know it likely isn't a numbers issue and since they declined to offer you even a probationary period, I think it's safe to say that they didn't offer you your deserved level of respect as an initiated sister. And as far as you transferring to a school where you have no reminders of Zeta, sounds like a smart thing. You can then move on from this and focus on college and making new friends outside of Zeta. Then, perhaps you will be able to overlook this and get back involved with Zeta in your alum years. Just know that there are nice women in every chapter and you are likely to meet some of those should you decide to get involved with a Zeta alum chapter after college. And perhaps if you do run into some of the those who rejected you, they will then be mature enough to give you some respect.

I know the issue about transferring to another school to affiliate with a desired chapter. I know that is annoying to some people. But that doesn't sound like it's the case here, and regardless, all chapters of a sorority should offer mutual respect and support to sisters. It's disappointing to see someone log on here for support and see someone else, who is likely an npc member herself, cut her down. Not in good character at all.

I wish you the best.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mary1510
I did not even know that once you have been rejected into a chapter that you could no longer affiliate with any chapter anywhere. What is the reasoning behind this? Is this only the case with Zeta Tau Alpha? just curious.

Again, why would it matter if you're not planning on affiliating? Why don't you check with Zeta instead of embarrassing yourself on a public message board where there are girls who go to your school?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mary1510
UT Austin.

Of course you did.

[RedRoseM.D.]

Oh and Mary, Tulane is a great school, in case you do transfer.

And re: your dues, I would contact your international headquarters and ask for the college relations specialist (or similar title). I suspect they will want you to pay some type of dues. I would encourage you to do it because you may really want to get involved with Zeta at the alum level and if so, you'll want to be in good standing. Best of luck.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by RedRoseM.D.

Hi everyone,

I am new to greekchat. I'm an AOII alum who is a pediatrician. I just linked to this thread from another thread and as I was reading over it, I was shocked at some of the cutting comments on here. Especially Barbie's Rush. If I am breaking the rules of greekchat, then pardon me, but Barbie's Rush should be ashamed for posting such crude and rude replies to mary 1510. I logged on just to offer my some sympathy and support to mary1510.

She stated that she was a Zeta at UT, not UT San Antonio and she stated several times that she did not go to her first university with intentions of transferring to another university. In fact, she stated that she transferred to be closer to home because her mother has breast cancer. And now, the Zeta chapter there has decided not to allow her to affiliate, which, understandably, must be extremely upsetting on it's own, especially given that her roommate was allowed to affiliate and that she has a family crisis.

Being an adviser for my own sorority and being familiar with recruitment and affiliation at a large school, I am deeply sorry Mary, sorry that Zeta would not allow you to affiliate, even on a probationary basis, and sorry that your mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer. My understanding is that transfers do not count in chapter total, so the chapter's reason for not allowing you to affiliate is really perplexing to me. Look at it this way, if they did not allow you to affiliate, then you may not have felt comfortable with a group of girls who would take that kind of action against an initiated sister. Since we know it likely isn't a numbers issue and since they declined to offer you even a probationary period, I think it's safe to say that they didn't offer you your deserved level of respect as an initiated sister. And as far as you transferring to a school where you have no reminders of Zeta, sounds like a smart thing. You can then move on from this and focus on college and making new friends outside of Zeta. Then, perhaps you will be able to overlook this and get back involved with Zeta in your alum years. Just know that there are nice women in every chapter and you are likely to meet some of those should you decide to get involved with a Zeta alum chapter after college. And perhaps if you do run into some of the those who rejected you, they will then be mature enough to give you some respect.

I know the issue about transferring to another school to affiliate with a desired chapter. I know that is annoying to some people. But that doesn't sound like it's the case here, and regardless, all chapters of a sorority should offer mutual respect and support to sisters. It's disappointing to see someone log on here for support and see someone else, who is likely an npc member herself, cut her down. Not in good character at all.

I wish you the best.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mary1510
I did not even know that once you have been rejected into a chapter that you could no longer affiliate with any chapter anywhere. What is the reasoning behind this? Is this only the case with Zeta Tau Alpha? just curious.

Again, why would it matter if you're not planning on affiliating? Why don't you check with Zeta instead of embarrassing yourself on a public message board where there are girls who go to your school?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mary1510
UT Austin.

Of course you did.

QFP.

And just wow -- logging on just to tell someone else you think she's rude, all the while offering criticisms of another sorority, it chapters and its members. Talk about disrespectful. As you say: Not in good character at all.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

QFP.

And just wow -- logging on just to tell someone else you think she's rude, all the while offering criticisms of another sorority, it chapters and its members. Talk about disrespectful. As you say: Not in good character at all.

Originally Posted by RedRoseM.D.

Hi everyone,

I am new to greekchat. I'm an AOII alum who is a pediatrician.

>> What does having to be a pediatrician have to do with anything?

I just linked to this thread from another thread and as I was reading over it, I was shocked at some of the cutting comments on here. Especially Barbie's Rush. If I am breaking the rules of greekchat, then pardon me, but Barbie's Rush should be ashamed for posting such crude and rude replies to mary 1510. I logged on just to offer my some sympathy and support to mary1510.

>> Which thread brought you to this one? It's quite rare that a "new member" of GC "logs in" to quickly find other threads which have some controversy, and bash others. It's suspect because you seem very familiar for a newbie (not familiar to a particular poster, but in your comfort talking to others here) in your bashing a regular user based on a single thread (since you're so new).

She stated that she was a Zeta at UT, not UT San Antonio and she stated several times that she did not go to her first university with intentions of transferring to another university. In fact, she stated that she transferred to be closer to home because her mother has breast cancer. And now, the Zeta chapter there has decided not to allow her to affiliate, which, understandably, must be extremely upsetting on it's own, especially given that her roommate was allowed to affiliate and that she has a family crisis.

>> Yes, we can read.

Being an adviser for my own sorority and being familiar with recruitment and affiliation at a large school, I am deeply sorry Mary, sorry that Zeta would not allow you to affiliate, even on a probationary basis, and sorry that your mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer. My understanding is that transfers do not count in chapter total, so the chapter's reason for not allowing you to affiliate is really perplexing to me.

>> If you don't belong to the chapter, you really have no place to say why she wasn't invited to affiliate. We can all guess, but not know.Look at it this way, if they did not allow you to affiliate, then you may not have felt comfortable with a group of girls who would take that kind of action against an initiated sister. Since we know it likely isn't a numbers issue and since they declined to offer you even a probationary period, I think it's safe to say that they didn't offer you your deserved level of respect as an initiated sister.

>> You. Don't. Know. That.

And as far as you transferring to a school where you have no reminders of Zeta, sounds like a smart thing. You can then move on from this and focus on college and making new friends outside of Zeta. Then, perhaps you will be able to overlook this and get back involved with Zeta in your alum years. Just know that there are nice women in every chapter and you are likely to meet some of those should you decide to get involved with a Zeta alum chapter after college. And perhaps if you do run into some of the those who rejected you, they will then be mature enough to give you some respect.

I know the issue about transferring to another school to affiliate with a desired chapter.

>> Interested that you "know" that this chapter is "desired"
I know that is annoying to some people. But that doesn't sound like it's the case here, and regardless, all chapters of a sorority should offer mutual respect and support to sisters. It's disappointing to see someone log on here for support and see someone else, who is likely an npc member herself, cut her down. Not in good character at all.

I wish you the best.

>> No one cut her down. We offered her what we think might have happened. The only people that know are not on this forum.


Quote: Originally Posted by mary1510
I did not even know that once you have been rejected into a chapter that you could no longer affiliate with any chapter anywhere. What is the reasoning behind this? Is this only the case with Zeta Tau Alpha? just curious.

Again, why would it matter if you're not planning on affiliating? Why don't you check with Zeta instead of embarrassing yourself on a public message board where there are girls who go to your school?

Quote: Originally Posted by mary1510 UT Austin. Of course you did.

>> No one told her that she could never affiliate with another chapter of ZTA. People told her to talk to the people who WOULD know, instead of the OP coming here to bash her sorority.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

[/I]

>> No one told her that she could never affiliate with another chapter of ZTA. People told her to talk to the people who WOULD know, instead of the OP coming here to bash her sorority.

Just pointing out that this last part was a quote from Barbie. I don't disagree with you on any of your points.

Mary, contact your HQ if you have any questions. They will have more appropriate answers for your than GC.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by RedRoseM.D.

Hi everyone,

I am new to greekchat. I'm an AOII alum who is a pediatrician. I just linked to this thread from another thread and as I was reading over it, I was shocked at some of the cutting comments on here. Especially Barbie's Rush. If I am breaking the rules of greekchat, then pardon me, but Barbie's Rush should be ashamed for posting such crude and rude replies to mary 1510. I logged on just to offer my some sympathy and support to mary1510.

She stated that she was a Zeta at UT, not UT San Antonio and she stated several times that she did not go to her first university with intentions of transferring to another university. In fact, she stated that she transferred to be closer to home because her mother has breast cancer. And now, the Zeta chapter there has decided not to allow her to affiliate, which, understandably, must be extremely upsetting on it's own, especially given that her roommate was allowed to affiliate and that she has a family crisis.

Being an adviser for my own sorority and being familiar with recruitment and affiliation at a large school, I am deeply sorry Mary, sorry that Zeta would not allow you to affiliate, even on a probationary basis, and sorry that your mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer. My understanding is that transfers do not count in chapter total, so the chapter's reason for not allowing you to affiliate is really perplexing to me. Look at it this way, if they did not allow you to affiliate, then you may not have felt comfortable with a group of girls who would take that kind of action against an initiated sister. Since we know it likely isn't a numbers issue and since they declined to offer you even a probationary period, I think it's safe to say that they didn't offer you your deserved level of respect as an initiated sister. And as far as you transferring to a school where you have no reminders of Zeta, sounds like a smart thing. You can then move on from this and focus on college and making new friends outside of Zeta. Then, perhaps you will be able to overlook this and get back involved with Zeta in your alum years. Just know that there are nice women in every chapter and you are likely to meet some of those should you decide to get involved with a Zeta alum chapter after college. And perhaps if you do run into some of the those who rejected you, they will then be mature enough to give you some respect.

I know the issue about transferring to another school to affiliate with a desired chapter. I know that is annoying to some people. But that doesn't sound like it's the case here, and regardless, all chapters of a sorority should offer mutual respect and support to sisters. It's disappointing to see someone log on here for support and see someone else, who is likely an npc member herself, cut her down. Not in good character at all.

I wish you the best.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mary1510
I did not even know that once you have been rejected into a chapter that you could no longer affiliate with any chapter anywhere. What is the reasoning behind this? Is this only the case with Zeta Tau Alpha? just curious.

Again, why would it matter if you're not planning on affiliating? Why don't you check with Zeta instead of embarrassing yourself on a public message board where there are girls who go to your school?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mary1510
UT Austin.

Of course you did.

Excuse me, but you really need to butt out of this. Some of us actually know what this particular situation is all about. The OP is not telling the entire story. That's why I called her out on it.

[FSUZeta]

mary, i am so sorry to hear that your mother has been diagnosed with cancer. i am sure that your being closer to home is a true comfort to her. i am sorry that you have not been successful in your effort to affiliate with the zta chapter at your present school. under any circumstances, that would be rough, but with your added distress, this has to be especially hard to deal with.

if you left your chapter of initiation in good standing-not owing any bills, not having gotten in trouble or had grade problems,being an initiated member,etc.-then you are allowed to seek to affiliate with the chapter at your school, or to take alumna status. our collegiate chapters have always had the option to decide whether a sister from a different chapter will be allowed to affiliate. each chapter is different and how they go about making their decision is up to them, within general guidelines. none of us can know what this chapters decision was based on.

as someone else said, we no longer have an active chapter at tulane-we do have an active chapter at UNO. should you transfer to tulane, i would urge you to get in touch with our new orleans alumnae chapter. i would imagine that they have a variety of ages, and having the support of some sisters at this difficult time could be so good for you, your mother and your family. should you transfer to UNO, i would encourage you to get in touch with the chapter, get to know them and then, if you want, seek affiliation with them. unless you have outstanding bills, you do not need to contact i.o. you do not have to pay dues unless you affiliate with a collegiate chapter or join an alumnae chapter.

no matter what, please know that i will be thinking about you and your mother and wishing a complete recovery for her.

redrosemd, i appreciate your kind words to mary.i would like you to know that here on greekchat we try not to be critical of other groups or the way they operate. often times it makes no sense to an outsider, but is actually very logical to someone on the inside.

[RedRoseM.D.]

I'll start with ree-xi:

I politely introduced myself, letting the people in the forum know what I do for a living and that I am an adviser. The fact that I stated that I am a pediatrician was not meant as on offense to anyone and I'm not quite sure why it would be taken as such?

Regarding the thread, I found the website at the direction of another alum and I found another thread that had a link to this thread. I referenced it when I said that 'I know the issue about people rushing at one school and transferring to another school. I put that I know that is annoying to others'. There is a whole thread about that in greekchat currently and the fact that people are so bothered by girls doing that. I just acknowledged that. I didn't state in any way that I know anything about this chapter, whether it is desirable or not. That is catty and something I wouldn't try to speculate on.

I linked to this thread and was about to log off until I noticed how you and Barbie's rush skewered this girl re: her situation. Even if she is not telling the 'whole story' about her situation, Barbie's Rush, your responses were vapid at best but mostly cruel. It's a shame that that grown women would make such comments to a collegiate.

FSUZeta: I read back over my messages and I did not in any way put down or talk negatively about Zeta, period. I pointed out that if these girls chose not to give this girl a chance at affiliation, then perhaps she is better off not being a part of their group. That is completely honest on my part. Who would want to be in a group where she is not wanted? I went on to encourage her to give Zeta a second chance during her alum years and to try to get involved at that time and not hold it against the entire organization-the way she was treated by one chapter. Regardless of which npc we are discussing, I believe it is unfair for an affiliate to be blocked without even a chance of a probationary affiliation. That is my opinion and it is based on the premise of sisterhood and giving that woman a chance. The issue is not exclusive to Zeta by any means, as mentioned in the other forum.

I am new to greekchat, and I don't know how to post the link to the other forum but I believe it is in recruitment stories or at least under the recruitment tab. I try to give someone the benefit of the doubt and this girl was obviously voicing her hurt feelings about her interaction with that chapter. I logged on to offer her support, which I did, not to bash Zeta or other members, which I did not do. I merely called out Barbie's rush for her cruel comments and now ree-xi.

Telling me to butt out is pretty consistent with the rest of your comments, Barbie's rush. This is an open forum and I hate to see people talking down to collegiate members or pnm's.

[kddani]

Why is it okay for you to talk down to GC members, call people names, etc. while in the same breath chiding them for doing so as well? Pot, meet kettle.

As with any new group, message board or community you join, it is always a best practice to hang around and get to know the vibe and general way the group works before you start sticking your neck out. You didn't do that here.

[FSUZeta]

the problem with the written word is that we do not hear the inflections in a persons voice, nor are we able to pick up on facial cues. redrose, many on us reading this thread did interpret your words as negative toward ZTA and its policies-hence the responses you got.

in zta, when a young woman leaves the school where she was initiated into zta, she is considered an alumna, until such a time that she affiliates with another collegiate chapter, so your suggestion that she join an alumnae chapter during her alum. years is a little misleading to the op. she is an alum. now.

[Nanners52674]

I don't understand why you think it's so atrocious that a chapter choose not to let someone affiliate with them. It's their chapter and their choice, it wouldn't be right to force them to take anyone who shows up at their campus.

(Mary this is not directed at you at all. I'm sorry for everything you're going through)

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by RedRoseM.D.

I politely introduced myself, letting the people in the forum know what I do for a living and that I am an adviser. The fact that I stated that I am a pediatrician was not meant as on offense to anyone and I'm not quite sure why it would be taken as such?

No one took it as an offense. They took it as gratuitous and irrelevant to this discussion.

FSUZeta: I read back over my messages and I did not in any way put down or talk negatively about Zeta, period.

Oh really?

Originally Posted by RedRoseM.D.

Being an adviser for my own sorority and being familiar with recruitment and affiliation at a large school, I am deeply sorry Mary, sorry that Zeta would not allow you to affiliate, even on a probationary basis . . . . My understanding is that transfers do not count in chapter total, so the chapter's reason for not allowing you to affiliate is really perplexing to me.

In other words, you don't know anything about this situation other than what you've read in this thread, but you're perplexed enough to make judgments about how a chapter of sorority of which you're not a member does its business. (Do you even know whether acceptance on a probationary basis was an option for the chapter? It wouldn't be in my organization.)

Look at it this way, if they did not allow you to affiliate, then you may not have felt comfortable with a group of girls who would take that kind of action against an initiated sister. Since we know it likely isn't a numbers issue and since they declined to offer you even a probationary period, I think it's safe to say that they didn't offer you your deserved level of respect as an initiated sister.

So according to you and based on your very limited information, it's "safe" to say that the sisters in this chapter didn't give her a chance or show her respect and are the kind of people she's better off without. There's really no other reasonable explanation. Really?

And perhaps if you do run into some of the those who rejected you, they will then be mature enough to give you some respect.

Because apparently they were too immature to give her respect now?

I know the issue about transferring to another school to affiliate with a desired chapter. I know that is annoying to some people. But that doesn't sound like it's the case here, and regardless, all chapters of a sorority should offer mutual respect and support to sisters.

And obviously the chapter in question here did not offer mutual respect and support to a sister. Nevermind that they followed the proper protocol for their own sorority.

You really don't see how these were very judgmental statements? You really don't think you put anyone in that chapter down, or see why anyone would think you were speaking negatively about Zeta and this particular chapter?

If you really hate to see people talking down to others, then perhaps you should stop doing it.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

...they followed the proper protocol for their own sorority.

MysticCat said it. AMEN.

Masterful response, as is your wont.

And gratuitous - I really love you for that word (but not in a weird way).

Finished!

[christianboy]

Originally Posted by kddani

Why is it okay for you to talk down to GC members, call people names, etc. while in the same breath chiding them for doing so as well? Pot, meet kettle.

And you don't? bullshit, meet horseshit.

[BriannaL]

Hello!