Daughter's friend's recruitment

[Splash]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

First off, ellebud, you seem to be a really good resource to your kids and their friends when it comes to recruitment.

I think the issue is with PNMs wanting to be in the chapter with the girls who are most like who they WANT to be. Not necessarily who they have the most in common with at that time.

You want to BE Miss Perfect Popular House, but you have more in common with Nice Regular Girl House. You don't realize that the girls who get invites and bids to Miss Perfect Popular are those that have the most in common with them. You are looking at what you WANT to be and missing out on potential opportunities with others.

Like it or not, not everyone is going to be a Miss Perfect House. That's just the way it is.

Aren't most of the differences in "tiers" though having to do with looks? I find nice/snotty girls in every chapter, it seems that these stereotypes are only based on appearances. Is this what you mean by not fitting in or having more in common with a girl who looks more like you? Not trying to start anything

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Splash

Aren't most of the differences in "tiers" though having to do with looks? I find nice/snotty girls in every chapter, it seems that these stereotypes are only based on appearances. Is this what you mean by not fitting in or having more in common with a girl who looks more like you? Not trying to start anything

I'll say this...when I went through I am positive I could've been in the "top" sorority on my campus (it's not a competitive campus), which is mostly fit, blond, tanned, and pretty girls, especially pageant girls. I did have a bunch of unfair stereotypes about them, but even if I did have more in common with them than I did I wouldn't have felt like I fit in as well as everyone else...I wasn't blond, tanned, and certainly didn't do pageants. It sounds shallow but who isn't at 18? I would've felt like I had to spend every moment looking my best just to keep up and be mediocre in that chapter...the chapter I joined was more diverse and I felt like I wouldn't have to worry nearly as much about my appearance just to fit in. That kind of thing matters when you're a freshman going through rush.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Splash

Aren't most of the differences in "tiers" though having to do with looks? I find nice/snotty girls in every chapter, it seems that these stereotypes are only based on appearances. Is this what you mean by not fitting in or having more in common with a girl who looks more like you? Not trying to start anything

No.

It's more than just looks.

For example: Let's say that all the girls in Miss Perfect Popular all went to the same prep schools, vacationed in Europe every summer, all talk about shopping/make-up clothes from the sme stores, play tennis together at the same clubs, and are all from the same area. They share common experiences throughout their lives, and yes, some of them might have the same looks.

If you haven't been to Europe, went to a regular school, are not really into the things they talk about, and don't like tennis, you are not going to have alot in common with a Miss Perfect Popular. If everyone in Miss Perfect Popular has similar interests, chances are good that they are going to be most interested in those girls who have the same.

Sometimes, a PNM will look at Miss Perfect Poular House and realize that they're great but not for her (not alot in common). If Miss Perfect Pop. cuts them, no biggie. They understand that they don't really fit there and look at the others that chose to invite them back.

Other PNMs might have nothing in common with them, but decide that they want to be a Miss Perfect Popular (because that's the type of person they WANT to be.) So if they are cut by Miss Perfect House, they refuse to look at others. They may have more in common with other houses, but they are stuck on who they aspire to be.

I find that it's the same for other chapter. Ex: Nice Regular House. They all went to the same regular school, maybe from the same small towns, enjoyed doing outdoor things and playing sports. They aren't really big on talking about shopping. If you are a Miss Popular House kind of girl, you are probably not going to be super interested in Nice Regular.

I could be crazy here and way off. lol. Feedback welcome.

[Splash]

Ok, gotcha. Question, what do you think about when girls who vaca in Europe every summer, went to private school, are pretty, like to go shopping, etc that whole list you mentioned, get cut by those chapters? Wouldn't you say that they don't have as much in common with the other chapters just like the "regular" girls might not have as much in common with the Pretty Miss Popular chapter? just wondering

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by Splash

Ok, gotcha. Question, what do you think about when girls who vaca in Europe every summer, went to private school, are pretty, like to go shopping, etc that whole list you mentioned, get cut by those chapters? Wouldn't you say that they don't have as much in common with the other chapters just like the "regular" girls might not have as much in common with the Pretty Miss Popular chapter? just wondering

I don't see the point in speculating about hypothetical circumstances/situations/people. ellebud & ksuviolet have given excellent advice, as have the other posters. This is a cautionary tale that PNMs should take to heart.

[Splash]

Originally Posted by Splash

Ok, gotcha. Question, what do you think about when girls who vaca in Europe every summer, went to private school, are pretty, like to go shopping, etc that whole list you mentioned, get cut by those chapters? Wouldn't you say that they don't have as much in common with the other chapters just like the "regular" girls might not have as much in common with the Pretty Miss Popular chapter? just wondering

No one has to answer me, I just posted a question, no big deal

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Splash

No one has to answer me, I just posted a question, no big deal

Those girls may not have as much in common with their chapter than the more "elite" chapters had they not been cut, but then again, we are talking mostly about chapters at schools with very defined differences between groups. This is pretty rare and at MOST schools not so definitive. A fish out of water can fit in, but may not feel as comfortable and will probably have to work harder at it.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Mostly I think it's the idea of getting rejected by Pretty Perfect Princess. It's one of the first doses of reality most girls get when they get to school. They want to be a Pi Pi Pi because everyone should want to be a Pi Pi Pi. Patty PNM isn't even thinking about things like how she could cope with the Tri Pis' weekly spa trips and shopping sprees while she works three shifts a week at the Wag-a-Bag just to pay her dues.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

Mostly I think it's the idea of getting rejected by Pretty Perfect Princess. It's one of the first doses of reality most girls get when they get to school. They want to be a Pi Pi Pi because everyone should want to be a Pi Pi Pi. Patty PNM isn't even thinking about things like how she could cope with the Tri Pis' weekly spa trips and shopping sprees while she works three shifts a week at the Wag-a-Bag just to pay her dues.

Of course not...it often reminds me of "Scent of A Women." Chris O'Donnell's character tries so hard to fit in with the rich boys at his school, but he'll never be a privileged brat with daddy's money.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Splash

Ok, gotcha. Question, what do you think about when girls who vaca in Europe every summer, went to private school, are pretty, like to go shopping, etc that whole list you mentioned, get cut by those chapters? Wouldn't you say that they don't have as much in common with the other chapters just like the "regular" girls might not have as much in common with the Pretty Miss Popular chapter? just wondering

Are you saying does a Miss Popular get cut from a The Miss Popular chapter?

Sure. Sometimes it's because she has a "reputation" among the Miss Popular type groups. Sometimes there are too many Miss Populars and someone has to be cut.

And yes, it's possible for a Miss Popular to be cut by Nice Regular House. Nice Regular might feel as if they already know that Miss Popular is not going to be interested, and might cut her.

Of course, these are just my own thoughts. Every school and recruitment is different and anything can happen. There are plenty of instances of certain chapters taking on girls who are different than they are. It happens.

[Splash]

Oh, I was wondering more so do you think the miss popular who gets cut is going to have things in common with the non-miss popular chapters just as the regular girl does not have much in common with the miss popular chapter

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Splash

Oh, I was wondering more so do you think the miss popular who gets cut is going to have things in common with the non-miss popular chapters just as the regular girl does not have much in common with the miss popular chapter

I don't really want to get too off-track here.

My point was if you base your choices on who you WANT to be, you could end up spending your college career trying to BE something instead of being comfortable and being yourself.

(your lack of capitalization in this post reminds me of someone. hmmm)

[Splash]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I don't really want to get too off-track here.

My point was if you base your choices on who you WANT to be, you could end up spending your college career trying to BE something instead of being comfortable and being yourself.

(your lack of capitalization in this post reminds me of someone. hmmm)

It was one long run on sentence, there shouldn't have been capitalization. I did miss a question mark at the end though