Daughter's friend's recruitment

[Splash]

Originally Posted by littleowl33

Not to mention the fact that the PNMs who do somehow find their way into the "top" group (when they know in their hearts that it's who they want to be, not who they are) are rarely very happy. I have quite a few friends who made it into their dream group by acting like someone they weren't and discovered after a few months that it wasn't where they should have ended up. It turned out they had nothing in common with their sisters (surprise!) and they felt like an outsider. Some deactivated, but some stuck with it for the prestige of continuing to wear those letters, even though they meant nothing to them. Sad.

I don't see how you can say this, when this seems to be the exact opposite of the advice we give when someone receives her lower choice chapter. It is quite rare that with the right effort, most PNMs can fit into and be happy/flourish with the bid that they are given.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Splash

I don't see how you can say this, when this seems to be the exact opposite of the advice we give when someone receives her lower choice chapter. It is quite rare that with the right effort, most PNMs can fit into and be happy/flourish with the bid that they are given.

There's a difference though. If you're not being yourself throughout recruitment to 'fake it' into the group of your dreams, then you're more likely to be unhappy than if you are yourself and get into a group that wants you for you. If you're not being yourself, even a positive, perky, social version of yourself, you'll probably find that you don't actually fit in.