Paying for sex - is this more common than I thought?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Thanks.

Let's be honest: I am not going to Al Anon meeting for sex abuse and say "Hi, my name is AKA_Monet and I am intolerant of bullshit!" Sure chick asked, dude answered honestly. Sure he prolly is going to be judged on things that happened 15 years ago. But seriously, I am "a leopard never changes its spots" and really, notone to say my problem. I see it as a character flaw--not as a whoops, I got a speeding ticket-kinna thing. But that's me.

Everyone has a past history and some things are important. Talking about people's past is discretionary. And the OP's post said that dude stated that "a lot of 20 year olds do this"-and the tone I read was a "matter of fact-ly"...

NO! Not a lot of 20-something year olds buy sex with prostitutes! That is bullshit! There are studies that show that men who buy sex from prostitutes often have psychotic tendencies similar to a rapist, and often have a personality disorder. Just ask RAINN.org.

Yep. I mean, what's wrong with being upfront? I just think it's based on what I can deal with and what I can't, and I personally don't call that judging. I believe people can change their lives and completely turn it around, but what that guy did is too much. At least it would be for me. Prostitutes? That's so gross. There's no way. I'm with you all the way, AKA_Monet. It's only fair to both people to be upfront and honest with each other.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Yep. I mean, what's wrong with being upfront? I just think it's based on what I can deal with and what I can't, and I personally don't call that judging. I believe people can change their lives and completely turn it around, but what that guy did is too much. At least it would be for me. Prostitutes? That's so gross. There's no way. I'm with you all the way, AKA_Monet. It's only fair to both people to be upfront and honest with each other.

So asking a question, even in jest, about such a thing means one must be ready for the answer... People's who are not married that is private business. If this was the man I were to marry and he freely told me such a thing like that after I asked... Well, that would be my dealbreaker. I just being honest. Too bad for him that I distrusted his honesty because I can't handle his answer. Oh well, life moves on... That's my opinion & he can find someone else to tolerate the bull.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

So asking a question, even in jest, about such a thing means one must be ready for the answer... People's who are not married that is private business. If this was the man I were to marry and he freely told me such a thing like that after I asked... Well, that would be my dealbreaker. I just being honest. Too bad for him that I distrusted his honesty because I can't handle his answer. Oh well, life moves on... That's my opinion & he can find someone else to tolerate the bull.

Yep. Yes, it's private business, it's just that if it gets beyond the friendship thing, I only think it's fair to be honest about everything. Ya know what I mean?

lol and I agree with your opinion.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Yep. Yes, it's private business, it's just that if it gets beyond the friendship thing, I only think it's fair to be honest about everything. Ya know what I mean?

lol and I agree with your opinion.

So dude was being honest. Brutally so. And the OP is ambivalent about the answer. If anything s/he needs to be honest with him/herself. Where did the fairness go?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

So dude was being honest. Brutally so. And the OP is ambivalent about the answer. If anything s/he needs to be honest with him/herself. Where did the fairness go?

Yep. And if she's not being fair to herself and/or she feels uncertain about it, then I think she should just break up with him.