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I actually can completely see where the Southern people are coming from...it's just a different culture. Even where I grew up in Southern California it was a HUGE thing to say that your daughter pledged XYZ at USC.
I think her happiness should be the most important thing though. If she isn't capable of getting into XYZ at a campus where it is top tier, would it really be worse off being a GDI? Or having people know that was the chapter you were placed in even though you deactivated? If she is having fun and enjoying it then maybe to her the friendships gained mean more than social reputation.
If she isn't the Southern Belle who is going to marry the 6'3" wealthy Plantation Heir who's descended from Confederate generals anyways then who gives a shit? It sounds like her personality and interests doesn't mesh well with the "top tier, born and raised Southern sorority girls" anyways (and that's not a bad thing, although I'm not knocking those girls either) so that's probably not what she's aiming for. Let the girl do her own damn thing. She's clearly not going to be the girl you want her to be for your own reputation, so let her have fun. It sounds like she is.
If you were truly that important in the social scene anyways it seems like she would have gotten into the chapter you wanted her in. So maybe it is time for both women to look in the mirror and chase happiness, not social pipe-dreams.
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