Disappointed mom

[kappalove17]

Wow...I think people need to be nicer. She's not the worst mom in the world. Bad moms don't care. This woman clearly does care, maybe a little TOO much. Since I am originally from the south, I can understand the situation. Luckily I go to school elsewhere and didn't have to deal with quite so much pressure. I can honestly understand being embarrassed, but only because, lets face it- we ALL think our sorority is the best. If I had a daughter and the kappa chapter at her school cut her, I would be heartbroken too. I think this mom means well, but is having a little trouble letting go. And maybe she is concerned because she knows her daughter well and thinks she would be better off elsewhere. If this girl were really socially awkward, I dont know that any mom would pressure them to join a sorority...

to the OP: A family friend's daughter went through recruitment at FSU this year, and we thought she'd have an easy time. She's smart, adorable, athletic, and very funny. She's a legacy to a top notch sorority on campus, and she had recs to several of the chapters as well.

I was shocked to find out that she had been dropped by almost all chapters by the first couple days, and only preffed one. The sorority is probably what most would call one of the more "unpopular" sororities on campus, and we were all very disappointed for her- until we saw how much she loved this group of girls. She is having a great time, and has absolutely no fear wearing letters and telling everyone of her pride to her sorority. It may not be what we wanted for her, but it ended up being the perfect fit. So if you feel its your duty to make sure she knows the commitment she's making, I'm all for that!! Not enough people realize when they initiate into a sorority, its for life. But if she seems satisfied with her choice, the only thing you can do is be happy for her. And when your friends ask what she joined, DO NOT lie or avoid the subject...just tell them how much she's enjoying herself.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by kappalove17

Wow...I think people need to be nicer.

I'm just going to chuckle at the impending comments you'll get for this.

Originally Posted by kappalove17

She's not the worst mom in the world. Bad moms don't care. This woman clearly does care, maybe a little TOO much.

That's your opinion. I think overinvolvement and trying to live vicariously can be just as damaging as moms who "don't care", just in very different ways.

Originally Posted by kappalove17

I was shocked to find out that she had been dropped by almost all chapters by the first couple days, and only preffed one. The sorority is probably what most would call one of the more "unpopular" sororities on campus, and we were all very disappointed for her- until we saw how much she loved this group of girls. She is having a great time, and has absolutely no fear wearing letters and telling everyone of her pride to her sorority.

Unlike the OP, you decided that you could be happy for this girl when you saw that she was happy. That's how it should be.

[shadden]

I have read the original e-mail several times, and just can't see why everyone sees her the absolute worst mom. I think it is natural for a mother to want their children to have great experiences that last not just through but beyond college. Having been in a chapter that had just recolonized myself when I was in school, there are certainly pluses to being in a small house, but it is alot of work also. Obviously sail's daughter is up for the challenge, and she may be a huge asset to this chapter. But, if the mom's own sorority experience was good, she can't help but want the same experiences for her child.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by shadden

I have read the original e-mail several times, and just can't see why everyone sees her the absolute worst mom. I think it is natural for a mother to want their children to have great experiences that last not just through but beyond college. Having been in a chapter that had just recolonized myself when I was in school, there are certainly pluses to being in a small house, but it is alot of work also. Obviously sail's daughter is up for the challenge, and she may be a huge asset to this chapter. But, if the mom's own sorority experience was good, she can't help but want the same experiences for her child.

Of course you want that, but I think trying to get her to drop crosses a bit of a line (that's just my opinion).

[kappalove17]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

I'm just going to chuckle at the impending comments you'll get for this.

That's your opinion. I think overinvolvement and trying to live vicariously can be just as damaging as moms who "don't care", just in very different ways.

Unlike the OP, you decided that you could be happy for this girl when you saw that she was happy. That's how it should be.

I wrote that story to point out that she DOES need to be happy for her daughter. Not to call her a bitch for being disappointed. I agree that over-involved pageant moms can be very detrimental as well I was just pointing out that its not anyone's place to judge motherhood skills via an online post.

[LightBulb]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

The OP basically has said that she thinks that the others in her life are more important than her daughter. It's a totally different situation than a mom being upset alongside her daughter because she did not get the chapter she wanted.

Well said.

Originally Posted by kappalove17

So if you feel its your duty to make sure she knows the commitment she's making, I'm all for that!! Not enough people realize when they initiate into a sorority, its for life. But if she seems satisfied with her choice, the only thing you can do is be happy for her. And when your friends ask what she joined, DO NOT lie or avoid the subject...just tell them how much she's enjoying herself.

You too.

Originally Posted by kappalove17

...I was just pointing out that its not anyone's place to judge motherhood skills via an online post.

True.