Disappointed mom

agzg · #1 10-19-2008, 11:51 PM

What may be "bottom tier" on your daughter's campus or in your state may be "top tier" at other campuses.

Seriously. You're forgetting the OTHER 3/4 of the country. And Canada. And don't forget those off the mainland, like Hawaii. Come on. What if your daughter's organization is top tier in Hawaii? That's awesome because it gives her a reason to visit.

Elephant Walk · #2 10-20-2008, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

What may be "bottom tier" on your daughter's campus or in your state may be "top tier" at other campuses.

Seriously. You're forgetting the OTHER 3/4 of the country. And Canada. And don't forget those off the mainland, like Hawaii. Come on. What if your daughter's organization is top tier in Hawaii? That's awesome because it gives her a reason to visit.

What does that matter whatsoever?

In her area, if you're an XYZ at XYZ State, then you are on the upper end of the social scale.

It doesnt matter a thing about XYZ at any other school.

KSUViolet06 · #3 10-20-2008, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

What does that matter whatsoever?

In her area, if you're an XYZ at XYZ State, then you are on the upper end of the social scale.

It doesnt matter a thing about XYZ at any other school.

Do people in the South not leave their respective hometowns/states after college? I would think that they do. Wouldn't that change things if the place you move to doesn't consider XYZ to be 'top tier." Or is the social scale of your hometown the only one that matters? Yes, these are serious questions.

Elephant Walk · #4 10-20-2008, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Do people in the South not leave their respective hometowns/states after college? I would think that they do. Wouldn't that change things if the place you move to doesn't consider XYZ to be 'top tier." Or is the social scale of your hometown the only one that matters? Yes, these are serious questions.

It's a very interesting question, and I would say yes...

For example, here at Arkansas, Phi Delt has alot of Highland Park kids. Kids in high demand for sure. Phi Delt's is one of the better fraternities, but isn't SAE/SX/KE. I would argue that part of the reason that Phi Delt pulls so many high quality kids from HP is because Phi Delt is so very strong SMU. With this, SAE/Phi Gam/Phi Delt do well in rush from Texas because of the strength of those names at Texas schools.

Very few of my people from my hometown high school left the state for school. It's unfortunate, but it's true. (to your first question)

Furthermore, if you do go out of state then your social standing doesn't really matter...you know? You're sort of that lost child. But if you stay in state, you could climb socially.

I understand where she's coming from. She feels like she raised an upstanding woman...if her daughter didn't make it into a top-tiered sorority, she feels like she failed raising her properly. It comes back on the mom. It's like raising a serial killer, you feel like you failed as parents. Sorority rush is the litmus test of proper raising. I sympathize with the situation.

APhiAnna · #5 10-20-2008, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

It's like raising a serial killer, you feel like you failed as parents. Sorority rush is the litmus test of proper raising. I sympathize with the situation.

I'm actually not going to doubt that people believe this, but in this case the mom already failed. If she couldn't produce that top-tier Southern Belle in 18 years then how is she going to produce such an outstanding Southern Belle in 1 year that will beat the sophomore stigma into a top tier house?

If, "bless her heart", this poor girl is doomed already to a miserable post-grad social life because she didn't get into the right sorority then at least let the girl have fun in the chapter that did want her. Everybody will already know where she pledged anyways even if she drops.

KSUViolet06 · #6 10-20-2008, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

Very few of my people from my hometown high school left the state for school. It's unfortunate, but it's true. (to your first question)

Furthermore, if you do go out of state then your social standing doesn't really matter...you know? You're sort of that lost child. But if you stay in state, you could climb socially.

Thanks for the insight. I guess it's one of those regional things. Most of the people I know from college seriously couldn't wait to leave here for a larger metro area (Chicago/NYC/etc).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

I understand where she's coming from. She feels like she raised an upstanding woman...if her daughter didn't make it into a top-tiered sorority, she feels like she failed raising her properly. It comes back on the mom. It's like raising a serial killer, you feel like you failed as parents. Sorority rush is the litmus test of proper raising.

Wow. Another serious question: So whether you've failed as a parent is determined solely based on recruitment?

Lets say that Daughter joins a "lower tier" chapter in college, however she ends up going to a top law school and ends up working for one of the top law firms in NYC (or something equally lucrative). Does a mother STILL feel she failed at raising her? If so, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

I have a really hard time wrapping my mind around the whole sorority = LIFE concept, and the fact that women in some areas of the South base their entire lives on the sorority they join in college.

AOEforme · #7 10-20-2008, 01:12 AM

On the other hand, what happens if that top-tier daughter ends up being a serial killer or something?

Elephant Walk · #8 10-20-2008, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Lets say that Daughter joins a "lower tier" chapter in college, however she ends up going to a top law school and ends up working for one of the top law firms in NYC (or something equally lucrative). Does a mother STILL feel she failed at raising her? If so, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.[/COLOR]

Perhaps I was a bit hyperbolic...

I would say that sorority rush is "A" litmus test, not "the"

ree-Xi · #9 10-20-2008, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

But if you stay in state, you could climb socially.

I understand where she's coming from. She feels like she raised an upstanding woman...if her daughter didn't make it into a top-tiered sorority, she feels like she failed raising her properly. It comes back on the mom. It's like raising a serial killer, you feel like you failed as parents. Sorority rush is the litmus test of proper raising. I sympathize with the situation.

knight_shadow · #10 10-20-2008, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Top-tier is serious business.

Like, murder serious.

MysticCat · #11 10-20-2008, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Top-tier is serious business.

Like, murder serious.

Like cheerleading serious.

awkward1 · #12 10-20-2008, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

Furthermore, if you do go out of state then your social standing doesn't really matter...you know? You're sort of that lost child. But if you stay in state, you could climb socially.

I understand where she's coming from. She feels like she raised an upstanding woman...if her daughter didn't make it into a top-tiered sorority, she feels like she failed raising her properly. It comes back on the mom. It's like raising a serial killer, you feel like you failed as parents. Sorority rush is the litmus test of proper raising. I sympathize with the situation.

What the Hell?? I live in the south and have two children in SEC schools who are Greek and I have never encountered this type of social pressure!!!! Going Greek is not the end all be all here in the south that some people are making it out to be. Plenty of kids from prominent families don't even go Greek and it isn't an issue at all. Sorority rush is not a 'litmus test for proper raising' and being in a top sorority does not mean you were raised to be an upstanding young woman and most Southerners are well aware of this. I wouldn't be surprised if the OP was a sock puppet and the master was EW.

Elephant Walk · #13 10-20-2008, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awkward1

What the Hell?? I live in the south and have two children in SEC schools who are Greek and I have never encountered this type of social pressure!!!! Going Greek is not the end all be all here in the south that some people are making it out to be. Plenty of kids from prominent families don't even go Greek and it isn't an issue at all. Sorority rush is not a 'litmus test for proper raising' and being in a top sorority does not mean you were raised to be an upstanding young woman and most Southerners are well aware of this. I wouldn't be surprised if the OP was a sock puppet and the master was EW.

You probably live in Atlanta.

I don't have the time, nor do I care enough about GC to make a sockpuppet. Plus mine would be substantially funnier and far more offensive if I were to ever make one.

knight_shadow · #14 10-20-2008, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

You probably live in Atlanta.

I don't have the time, nor do I care enough about GC to make a sockpuppet. Plus mine would be substantially funnier and far more offensive if I were to ever make one.

True.

Still BLUTANG · #15 10-20-2008, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

You probably live in Atlanta.

this made my day.