Depression in the Greek system?

VandyGirl08 · #1 06-23-2008, 05:29 PM

This is something I've been wondering for a while after an extremely unpleasant experience at my school (Vanderbilt, obviously). Does it count as hazing if the group deliberately torments a member who has already been initiated? The situation was this: I had been a member of a sorority for several years, and had even served as an officer, when I told my sisters that I suffered from depression. Shortly afterwards, a group of officers started calling me in to honor board every time I slipped up - in one situation, I politely objected to a school-wide rule which I felt was unfair; I was one of at least ten girls in my chapter who did so. I was the only one who was called in to honor board and I was shouted at, told I was besmirching the honor of my sorority, etc etc. This sort of thing happened a couple times a month for several months. I sunk deeper and deeper into depression and stopped going out; after a particularly bad incident, I stopped eating and didn't go to class for several days. Then I got my psychiatrist to write them a letter asking them to stop harrassing me because it was worsening my depression. I requested Early Alumna Status because I really loved my sorority and didn't want to give up membership but I needed time off so that I could get my stuff together. They ignored the letter and, instead, demanded that I attend more events and take over the duties of several officers (who were neglecting those duties). I was honest and told them that I could not handle any more responsibility and that I really needed to focus on myself for a while.
They kicked me out. I never got a real explanation for why - I was told that I was no longer considered an asset to the organization. All of my former sisters stopped speaking to me (all except two, actually) and would give me the Eye of Shame whenever they passed me (I heard that the officers in question told everyone I couldn't hack it and quit).
Does this situation count as hazing? I believe it should, and I sincerely hope that it's only a problem in my former chapter. Because if not, then the Greek system needs to take a serious look at their position on mental illness and depression.
I also wanted to air this in case people have similar stories and because it's something that has really stuck with me and upset me. The thing is, I was a good sister. I took friends to the hospital when they were sick, I sat up with friends when they were upset, I always helped out whenever anyone needed it, I attended every competition and event (even though I'm completely uncoordinated and generally just stood to one side, cheering)... I really loved my sorority and I totally bought into the whole Greek thing. I would talk people's ears off about how awesome it was. And then, when I tried to get some help from my sisters... they turned their backs on me and treated me like a leper.

DSTCHAOS · #2 06-23-2008, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VandyGirl08

Does it count as hazing if the group deliberately torments a member who has already been initiated?

It can, in a general sense.

Instead of focusing on the "hazing" terminology that is often applied to aspirants, the university and the organization can investigate and determine whether there is a cause for action. You have to file a formal complaint or something to that effect.

Senusret I · #3 06-23-2008, 05:37 PM

That sucks if it's all true.

Sometimes I feel like when people say they got "yelled at" they don't mean that literally.

Do advisors have to attend the honor board jonts?

#4 06-23-2008, 05:46 PM

Why are you blaming the Greek system as a whole? It's not the Greek System's fault. What did the Greek System do to you? Assuming it's true, it seems like you got a bad deal with your chapter sisters and you had a really shitty collegiate experience.

What do you want to come out of all of this? Sympathy from us? Do you want these girls to pay for what they did to you?

Kevin · #5 06-23-2008, 05:52 PM

I always get a bad taste in my mouth when members or former members want to air what happened between them and their judicial officers in a public forum.

There are two sides to every story and we're only getting one.

What goes on between you and your judicial officers should stay between you and your judicial officers.

That said, every group has proper methods for the expulsion of a member. It might do you well to ensure that you were afforded the right sort of process. Also, in some cases, I'm sure some organizations give members a right to appeal.

If you feel you were hazed, you should call your Headquarters and discuss the situation with someone.

-- if you feel your question has been answered and really don't want to continue this topic, send me a private message and I'll remove this thread.

KSUViolet06 · #6 06-23-2008, 06:04 PM

A point that needs to be made:

Sorority and fraternity members are not licenced clincians. They're just regular people. The story, if true, sucks, but you cannot expect people (particularly college-aged students) to understand depression and take it into account when dealing with disciplinary actions such as these.

I fail to see the point of these types of posts, because it's usually all about putting the chapter on blast than what the poster actually says it's all about.

If you really wanted to talk about depression and the Greek system, you probably wouldn't have added all of these specifics. Be honest, most of this is just intended to put them on blast for "being mean to you."

#7 06-23-2008, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

A point that needs to be made:

Sorority and fraternity members are not licenced clincians. They're just regular people.

Even if a GCer was a licensed clinician, I doubt he/she would want to offer professional advice in a place like this.

DSTCHAOS · #8 06-23-2008, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

That said, every group has proper methods for the expulsion of a member. It might do you well to ensure that you were afforded the right sort of process. Also, in some cases, I'm sure some organizations give members a right to appeal.

If you feel you were hazed, you should call your Headquarters and discuss the situation with someone.

This is the only thing to get from this thread. I didn't read her post because I don't care what happened to her, regardless of what really happened.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

-- if you feel your question has been answered and really don't want to continue this topic, send me a private message and I'll remove this thread.

This thread is really TMI and she could've gotten her question answered by reading her university and sorority's policies and codes of conduct.

DSTCHAOS · #9 06-23-2008, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

Even if a GCer was a licensed clinician, I doubt he/she would want to offer professional advice in a place like this.

Oh unfortunately it is unsafe to assume that.

PSA:
Whether the advice is given on the board or via PM, I advise people to not take certain types of life altering advice from usernames.

KSUViolet06 · #10 06-23-2008, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

This thread is really TMI and she could've gotten her question answered by reading her university and sorority's policies and codes of conduct.

I agree, hence what I said above, you don't need to include all the extraneous info if that's all you want to know/discuss. What you really want is to put your chapter out on the internet as "a bunch of meanies who treated a depressed sister poorly" and have us feel sorry for you and talk about how mean they were, which isn't likely to happen.

They're people just like you and I. They aren't psychologists and probably didn't understand your depression well enough to take it into account when they sent you to standards for whatever you did.

There are 2 sides to every story. For example, how do we know what it is that you politely objected to, or what politely objected even means? For all we know, you could've politely told the sister to go f**k herself. Not saying you did, but that's an example of why it's hard to illicit sympathy via the internet.

ETA: What on earth ever happened to things being private chapter business, particularly those pertaining to standards board/judicial things?

DSTCHAOS · #11 06-23-2008, 06:18 PM

I think it's safe to say

FAIL.

Matsimela · #12 06-23-2008, 07:08 PM

well hazing is "torture" for the purposes of initiating someone. so really i would say that what you went through would be classified as harrassment. But regardless of whether or not the situation has a name, if you felt this strongly about it you probably should have taken your situation to your national board, regional board, or whatever standard protocol is for your org.

Kevin · #13 06-23-2008, 07:18 PM

Locked because nothing good can come of this.