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Originally Posted by PrettyBoy
DSTCHAOS, I wouldn't classify a woman who slept with 20 people as a hoe, but I most certainly would not get involved with a woman who slept with that many people. My question would be why so many men? Though I don't pull the double standard thing, I still do blame these men more than I do the women. Too many men have a very hard time being faithful to just one woman. They cheat, and spread their seads all over the place from woman to woman, which gives these same women insecurities, which is then taken out on the next man who just may be a good man.
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You assume that she would feel it her duty to share that info with you?
I blame society for the double standard. Men are doing what they've always been taught men are supposed to. Sons are taught to have sex but wrap it up and daughters are taught to keep their legs closed. I think that's dumb because the sons will be having sex with someone's daughter. So the double standard is irrational.
Even monogamous men and women can get high numbers. I always find it humorous when men and women in their 20s and 30s say they've had tons of boyfriends and girlfriends. This fast monogamous dating means that almost any person of the opposite sex is a potential mate.
So having a lot of sex partners is okay with them because each of these people was an exclusive relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy
DSTCHAOS and ladygreek, you two make sense and I guess I'm being a bit unrealistic, but a woman with strong morals who believes in a serious relationship is very important to me, and I won't settle for anything less. I would die single before I do that. Seriously.
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You aren't being unrealistic. You know what you want. I don't tolerate infidelity but I base that on a man's present and what he understands about relationships. I don't ask him about how many women he has been with. I don't care beyond making sure he is clean.
So if you find a good woman who wants to give you the world, don't turn her away because of something that you may get over if you try hard enough to. Also, don't turn her away if she won't tell you how many men she has been with. Like I said, it's really none of your business as long as her business isn't out in the streets. And, like I also said, she could have been with 1 other man and just thinks that it's none of your business period.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrettyBoy
I remember when I was in undergrad my fraternity brothers were doing the FWB thing and trying to get me to do it too. I wanted a commitment, so I never slept around, and still won't so that's why I can't accept a woman in my life who has/had multiple sexual partners. This doesn't make her a bad person, I just know I wouldn;t be able to get past that.
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You're honest with yourself. Do what you're comfortable with. We all have our criteria. But many people's criteria changes as they see what's really out there. There are some deal breakers and the rest are just things you'd want in a perfect world. For example, men who date older women would be hard pressed to find an older woman who hasn't had a few sexual partners. Not impossible but difficult--even if she's celebate. Go based on how she's handled her sexual history and whether he has a constant need to be around other men. Stuff like that rather than numbers.
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