Hi, my name is Joseph... and I have a problem.

[AKA_Monet]

I am probably going to get slammed for this:

Joseph, have you talked to a professional? How is that working for you? You seem to have some self-esteem issues that are now hurting your morale.

Your post should be moved to the "Dating and Relationships" topic because your issues are relevant to interpersonal relationships. Also, GC is not "Jerry Springer" where you should feel empowered to dump your feelings on unsuspecting GC discussants...

How should one encounter your pain and suffering? (Who isn't licensed)

Joseph, I am going to ask you another question because I am trying to understand what is going on with you: by posting your concerns, what is it that you expect to gain from it?

[JosephWang]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

I am probably going to get slammed for this:

Joseph, have you talked to a professional? How is that working for you? You seem to have some self-esteem issues that are now hurting your morale.

Your post should be moved to the "Dating and Relationships" topic because your issues are relevant to interpersonal relationships. Also, GC is not "Jerry Springer" where you should feel empowered to dump your feelings on unsuspecting GC discussants...

How should one encounter your pain and suffering? (Who isn't licensed)

Joseph, I am going to ask you another question because I am trying to understand what is going on with you: by posting your concerns, what is it that you expect to gain from it?

No, I have not talked to a professional. Believe it or not, I like the anonymity of posting on the internet. I have included a bit of personal information, but not so much as you could identify me in any way.

I come from a family that says the same things I've heard in this thread so far: get a hobby, get buff, change your behavior, bootstraps, bootstraps. And definitely don't talk to a shrink.

In a way, I agree with them. Just because you have a degree means nothing, a good friend or family member can listen just as well if they are inclined. But I'm really very private with these issues, which is why I prefer forums such as this.

I disagree that I've dumped on anyone, though. I understand that a board has to be moderated to keep things decent, but if people just want to post emoticons and say only pleasant things, well, that's kind of boring. The discussion actually turns from substance to content and categorization and appropriateness.

What I expect to get from posting: what anyone expect to get from posting... maybe a good discussion where we learn from each other.

[icelandelf]

Originally Posted by JosephWang

What I expect to get from posting: what anyone expect to get from posting... maybe a good discussion where we learn from each other.

Are you trying to tell us we can do better?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by JosephWang

No, I have not talked to a professional. Believe it or not, I like the anonymity of posting on the internet. I have included a bit of personal information, but not so much as you could identify me in any way.

I come from a family that says the same things I've heard in this thread so far: get a hobby, get buff, change your behavior, bootstraps, bootstraps. And definitely don't talk to a shrink.

In a way, I agree with them. Just because you have a degree means nothing, a good friend or family member can listen just as well if they are inclined. But I'm really very private with these issues, which is why I prefer forums such as this.

You may be right in your own pursuits and fancy, however, since your brain is a organ and tissue, it can get sick just like any other part of your body... Some psychological professionals are trained to assist you come to an civilized conclusion satisfactory to your psyche. Moreover, a psychiatrist who is a medical doctor can prescribe medications that can heal the illness that your genetics in your brain suffers.

It is cool to "stand on your own 2 feet" and "lift yourself up by your own bootstraps". However, it is more humane to yourself as well as everyone else when we live in a civilized society when you can accept the fact that you need help...

I disagree that I've dumped on anyone, though...The discussion actually turns from substance to content and categorization and appropriateness.

What I expect to get from posting: what anyone expect to get from posting... maybe a good discussion where we learn from each other.

IMHO, you should have posted in the "Dating and Relationships". Yes, I know, big whoopdee doo... But, you are saying you want to learn something from each other... Well, I am quite learned and I have several degrees. But, what I have most, is life experience from very bad storms in my life... So, I know it hurts.

How come you are so very hot and bothered by one woman?

[AlexMack]

Joe...a little advice that can help.

Women don't 'like' assholes. We like self-confidence. That's why we wind up with total pricks. Nice guys finish last because they're so concerned with how we are, are we okay, what are we feeling? Self-confidence, bro. That's what you need.

My other advice-you need atypical places to look for chicks. My advice are martial arts classes. Not because you're asian. Because they develop self-confidence, so as you're learning to be more assertive, chicks in those classes will notice that and it will come out. Take from it from an ex-martial artist. I hate saying that but it doesn't look like I'll get back to practicing anytime soon. Single guy, single girl. A martial arts class is a great way to meet people. It really is. Some of my best friends came from there. Some of my ex-boyfriends came from there!

Self-confidence my man. We don't want an asshole, we want a self-confident nice guy.