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While I have absolutely no child-rearing experience, outside of frequent babysitting, I'm also interracial. I'm in the grey area as far as appearence goes, I have olive skin, exotic features, black hair, hazel eyes etc. but that made it harder for me to identify with any particular group. I remember thinking the same things your daughter thought. However, I was blessed to have caring parents, like you, who taught that every race is beautiful- including those with multiple ethnic backgrounds.
My mom always said "it's not the color of their skin, hair, or eyes that makes them beautiful, it's their heart that makes them beautiful." Her phrase still rings in my head today and I really think she's responsible for making me so "color blind" while I dating or making friends.
But one of the things that helped me the most was when she would take me shopping. This really helped my personal outlook, because she would work so hard to point out the interracial features that made me unique and pretty. My mom is about as white as it gets and she would joke with me like "oh, I wish I could wear colors like that and look as good as you do, but I'm just too pale to pull it off! Look how lucky you are to have such a pretty complexion that you can wear that color" or something like "That pretty wavy hair of yours looks so pretty with that dress! You don't even need accessories, your dad and I gave you the best one!" When I started wearing make-up, she would tell me how I could blissfully pull off any color eyeshadow and my eyes would stand out; she would say how I didn't even need blush to make my cheekbones stand out because they are already so high and perfect. Granted a lot of what she said was superficial and could have possibly given me a rather large ego, it was just so nice hearing her be so positive with me while I was growing up. I think that her kind and sincere words really made me appreciate the way God decided to put my parents genes together to make me. I realized that I don't have to be Barbie to be gorgeous! Also, I really think the fact that my mom took time to point out specifics is what made the difference. She used that personalization in conjunction with her "phrases" to make everything she was teaching me identifiable. So even while I can still repeat her "phrases" word for word today, it was the personalization that followed, that made them so helpful and so memorable.
I hope my long rambling post has offered some insight and given you some ideas. I just identified with your little girl and had to post something!
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