40 y.o. track coach marries his student :(

[DSTRen13]

Originally Posted by Marie

I am pretty sure that the article mentioned that they were caught exchanging text messages a 2 in the AM when she was still 14. I know that a lot of you say that you had much older friends when you were in your early teens, but really...were you chatting it up with them in the middle of the night? and if so what about? I mean, who here honestly believes that at 2 AM he was giving her coaching or life advice?

I can only speak for myself on this, but yes, I did talk on the phone to an older male friend late at night. I believe at the time I was 15 and he was 38 or something? Not really sure. I have no idea the exact time of night. Mostly, we discussed philosophy, Jesus, and different ideas about Christianity. It wasn't a sexual thing. He isn't a freak and I'm not a freak, and it really isn't a big deal

[Marie]

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

I can only speak for myself on this, but yes, I did talk on the phone to an older male friend late at night. I believe at the time I was 15 and he was 38 or something? Not really sure. I have no idea the exact time of night. Mostly, we discussed philosophy, Jesus, and different ideas about Christianity. It wasn't a sexual thing. He isn't a freak and I'm not a freak, and it really isn't a big deal

Soooo...if in the future you have a 14 yr old daughter chatting on the phone w/a man who is at least 20 yrs older than her in the middle of the night, and you can't personally attest to what the conversations are about, then you will be cool with this?

I guess what I am stuck on is that it is a parent's job to protect their child. Something like this (the 14 - 30+ coed friendship) seems like a glaring risk. To chalk it up to a unique and special friendship (I think that we can all admit that this is not the norm) just seems negligent.

[DSTRen13]

Originally Posted by Marie

Soooo...if in the future you have a 14 yr old daughter chatting on the phone w/a man who is at least 20 yrs older than her in the middle of the night, and you can't personally attest to what the conversations are about, then you will be cool with this?

I guess what I am stuck on is that it is a parent's job to protect their child. Something like this (the 14 - 30+ coed friendship) seems like a glaring risk. To chalk it up to a unique and special friendship (I think that we can all admit that this is not the norm) just seems negligent.

I guess I can't really say what I would do with a teen daughter - it's a long way off since I don't even want to think about pregnancy right now! () But I would really hope that I would know enough about any children that I might have to be able to judge whether or not any friendships they might have, regardless of age and sex differences, are appropriate and healthy. It just seems to me like every person and every friendship could be one way or another.

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

I can only speak for myself on this, but yes, I did talk on the phone to an older male friend late at night. I believe at the time I was 15 and he was 38 or something? Not really sure. I have no idea the exact time of night. Mostly, we discussed philosophy, Jesus, and different ideas about Christianity. It wasn't a sexual thing. He isn't a freak and I'm not a freak, and it really isn't a big deal

Yes..but the thing is, you don't really know what HE thought. Maybe he was sexually attracted to you. If he didn't tell you, you may not have ever known. It's not so improbable.

[DSTRen13]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Yes..but the thing is, you don't really know what HE thought. Maybe he was sexually attracted to you. If he didn't tell you, you may not have ever known. It's not so improbable.

I suppose not. He's married now, to a woman his own age. If there was any sort of sexual thing that I never noticed, then I have to say no harm, no foul. He certainly never expressed anything of that nature in any way. I just don't think that as a rule such a friendship has to have sexual overtones. But I guess it just depends on the people involved.