Quote:
Originally Posted by thesweetestone
I 've read this whole thread, but I still don't understand why "family background" is a red flag. Will please SOMEBODY explain?
I don't have any control over the things my family does or has done. If I live an honest life, that is how I should be judged. I should not be judged by my family's behavior. 
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But you can choose how much contact you have with them. Having a dysfunctional family ALONE, is NOT the problem. If someone has a dysfunctional family, but they're not that close to them, or at least not close enough for the drama to have any effect....that's cool.
I get concerned when people are close enough to family where it causes trouble for people who weren't originally involved. Ok, here's an example. You date a guy, and his sister has a gambling addiction. Guy's sister does NOT want to help herself or go to GA, she just gambles and gambles. Your relationship gets more serious and you guys move in together. Guy's sister spends her rent money to gamble. Guy's sister will get put out of her house/apt if she does not pay rent. So the guy (and probably you) will have to chip in to pay for HER rent. This is an example how your date's family's drama can spill over into YOUR life. Say that this guy himself had a gambling addiction. Would you date him? If you answered "no", then why would you date a guy who has a close relationship with a sister who has a gambling addiction? However, if he wasn't that close to his sister and/or he does not pay for her losses, then I don't see any problem with that, and he shouldn't be rejected.